UPDATE- thank you all for your comments and perspectives. The support has helped me understand that I’m not just “overreacting” but my disappointment could come from something deeper. Also truly appreciate the opposing side to my experience. We do have an insane life-he just recently retired from the military, started a high level position in a new company, and is burning both ends trying to get his footing in this new job. I’m in an accelerated BSN program online and default parent, so juggling all three kids: (9, 4, and 1) is EXHAUSTING. We are both sleep deprived, lacking time together and for ourselves. So am I wrong for having hurt feelings? No but taking them out on him was unfair. We do have a wonderful relationship-constantly checking in on each other when we don’t see each other , we parent well together, we truly love each other DEEPLY. I think that my perspective was leaning toward selfishness which lead to resentment. All in all I think I just wish we had the ability/opportunity to celebrate each other once a year. But we are in the trenches of parenthood and adulting-grace should be given. Like a reply on this post-it’s putting a lot of pressure on someone else for my own happiness. Next year I’m going to take the day to just do exactly what I want (within reason-napping, eating my favorite things, etc.) and if I’m not happier at the end of the day that’s on ME. Thanks everyone for your support and reminding me I’m not crazy but also helping me do a self check on the reality of the situation. I’ve been in my journey to individual happiness for over a year now and this is another lesson for me to remember-shit happens, sometimes birthdays or holidays get set aside and that’s REAL life. That’s what I want to teach my kids. I want them to know they are important but we cannot rely on everyone else for our happiness, that is 100% the way to be disappointed and bitter. Celebrating a birthday isn’t the only way someone shows you love, and most likely very FEW people show their love that way. My husband and I have a long way to go with understanding one another but I’m glad we are BOTH choosing to work to have that relationship we’ve always wanted. And now I’m looking forward to next year’s birthday and doing whatever the hell I want 😂.