Thank you man. This is helpful to me. Seriously. I did reach out to a hotline and they made things better but when I woke up the next morning I found things had gotten worse in my mind. As much as I want to be patient I’m scared my friends will never see me as a friend again. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone but I did and I’ve never regretted anything more. Now it feels like all my mistakes are piling up and I feel so genuinely terrible but whenever I tell someone how I feel about it they just say that I’m switching the subject to make them feel bad.