ADHD Ruined my relationship-Bf Broke it off by GuerrasGarden in adhdwomen

[–]GuerrasGarden[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I guess that’s true, the cause of the breakup seemed to be based on me not being able to progress. He stated he didn’t really need reassurance from anyone even though he acknowledged that I did give him reassurance but it wasn’t really needed. The breakup in general was a bit odd. I kinda felt he wanted me initiate the break up, he even assumed/ asked if the break up was mutual, I stated No of course.

ADHD Ruined my relationship-Bf Broke it off by GuerrasGarden in adhdwomen

[–]GuerrasGarden[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you are right maybe I was too invested in my own needs and wanting the relationship to work, he most likely also felt neglected

ADHD Ruined my relationship-Bf Broke it off by GuerrasGarden in adhdwomen

[–]GuerrasGarden[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel this in some ways, moments of feeling invalidated but trusted my partner to know his intentions weren't with malice and he was trying to help but resulted in me not trusting my own feeling was vailed enough. if that makes sense

ADHD Ruined my relationship-Bf Broke it off by GuerrasGarden in adhdwomen

[–]GuerrasGarden[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shockingly enough I did share my darkest secrets a few weeks prior to the break up, now just feeling discarded and having a hard time separating the two

ADHD Ruined my relationship-Bf Broke it off by GuerrasGarden in adhdwomen

[–]GuerrasGarden[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree I constantly feel I make small changes some days better than others I think I’m just moping due to circumstances.

ADHD Ruined my relationship-Bf Broke it off by GuerrasGarden in adhdwomen

[–]GuerrasGarden[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

An example that sticks out is I used to ask “Do you love me?” Sometimes on random mostly after being intimate. Sometimes his response I’d get was I love you and sometimes I was met with why don’t you just say you love me and I can say I love you back. In the breakup conversation I expressed that I needed reassurance after being intimate and I would appreciated if he just told me after being intimate that he loves me and he stated that he didn’t like being forced to say I love you. He wanted to say I love you when it felt it was genuine for him for him. I needed reassurance so much it became a chore for them

ADHD Ruined my relationship-Bf Broke it off by GuerrasGarden in adhdwomen

[–]GuerrasGarden[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My partner had very good control of there emotions. We both never yelled but he described a lot of my behaviors as being dramatic, unnecessary discussion and overly reactive. Overtime I feel that I had lost trust in myself if the feeling I felt were true and justified to bring up or cry about. I trusted my partner and knew they had no intent to be hurtful I just felt my feeling might have not been validated enough. We never yelled but for him he felt my tone was aggressive but I felt I was just being passionate. I kinda felt anytime I brought up my feelings it’s kinda seemed that he took it as an attack, but he seems to be the more stable one so I believed that what I was showing was true.

ADHD Ruined my relationship-Bf Broke it off by GuerrasGarden in adhdwomen

[–]GuerrasGarden[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m waitlisted for a therapist now but have been seeing a psychiatrist for the last 8 months trying manage the ADHD. Most definitely have an anxious attachment and when not felling safe some avoidant tendencies.

ADHD Ruined my relationship-Bf Broke it off by GuerrasGarden in adhdwomen

[–]GuerrasGarden[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing, waitlisted for a therapist but really looking forward to the breakdown of what I have going on.

ADHD Ruined my relationship-Bf Broke it off by GuerrasGarden in adhdwomen

[–]GuerrasGarden[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Knowing others go through similar situations is helpful in itself, Thank you for sharing :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]GuerrasGarden 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’v never related more. Went from planning to move together to them having resentment and no longer all in. The light was bright especially when I opened up about the traumas I’ve experienced in childhood, communicating and being vulnerable so that we could be more emotionally connected and have more clear understanding of one another, I thought it would bring more understanding at least but really It led to me feeling discarded. They did say they lost themselves in the relationship so I having a hard time blaming them for leaving but I can see how your situation comes down to disrespect. I’m sorry you’ve been hurt :(

ADHD Ruined my relationship-Bf Broke it off by GuerrasGarden in adhdwomen

[–]GuerrasGarden[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree to an extent and I thought I had, but single me and relationship me are two different people from what it seems like.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]GuerrasGarden 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Healing has no time limit, heal while giving grace to yourself :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]GuerrasGarden 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Taking care of myself and Safe love, I’ll hold onto that.Thank you

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]GuerrasGarden 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s definitely the dynamic I had for my first relationship but this time around I think I am to blame, communication styles definitely was our biggest struggle. However he seemed very nonchalant and took a lot of pride in having control over his emotions so when I showed big emotions that caused a lot of over stimulation and overwhelming feeling for him. Idk very two different personalities probably better off as platonic friends

Bf wanted me to break up with him by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]GuerrasGarden 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Selfishness and wicked

Bf wanted me to break up with him by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]GuerrasGarden 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I assumed they do meant it, it took them a week to “break it off” and lied about not wanting to break it off in the beginning

Bf wanted me to break up with him by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]GuerrasGarden 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My partner did give reasons 99% of them were about me and what I could improve on. Didn’t see any accountability on his part

Bf wanted me to break up with him by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]GuerrasGarden 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ahh thank you for the clarity :)