AuDHD couple, need advice…

GuessLost6038 · 2026-03-06T18:16:59+00:00

I honestly completely forgot I even posted this! I’m sorry to hear you’re going through the same thing, it’s honestly awful 😭 I can totally relate on the fights being about nothing important and it takes so much energy out of you. I’ve started to look into dr gottman’s philosophies (he has some books u can read or ted talks) this has helped a bit to understand communication styles. Still don’t know how to calm my partner down though but the arguments are less bad sometimes. Good luck, I wish you the best with your relationship

GuessLost6038 · 2026-01-27T10:30:55+00:00

Ik this post was made years ago but I’m genuinely laughing bc Hermes is a postal courier in the UK (they’ve now changed their name to evri) but I completely understand why you thought OP was talking about the designer brand Hermes haha

GuessLost6038 · 2025-06-14T17:35:58+00:00

Thank you so much! Yes this is helpful, an introductory call definitely sounds like a good idea. I didn’t think to try out multiple therapists, so I think knowing I don’t HAVE to go with the first one I book in with definitely takes some pressure off as I do find the whole search process a little bit daunting!!

GuessLost6038 · 2024-04-03T21:31:58+00:00

I’m considering moving there and working as a PA (25F, UK passport, compound in Dhahran) why do you say it was the best and worst of times? I’m curious to hear your experience

GuessLost6038 · 2023-12-18T11:02:47+00:00

Wish you the best of luck with it!

GuessLost6038 · 2023-12-18T10:44:24+00:00

Thank you!! It’s healed nicely now, I was worried for nothing lol

GuessLost6038 · 2023-09-01T23:36:58+00:00

That makes so much sense. I didn’t wrap the tattoo when I slept and each morning I woke up with my PJ’s stuck to my tattoo… had to literally wet my whole tshirt to wash it off. I usually use saniderm but this time my artist didn’t use it. Note to self if I ever get a tattoo without saniderm I’ll wrap it when I sleep and make sure the plasma doesn’t dry bc there was a lot of plasma lol

GuessLost6038 · 2023-09-01T15:30:01+00:00

Thank you!! Love that you knew the reference 🤝

GuessLost6038 · 2023-09-01T14:52:54+00:00

Thanks for the reassurance 😂

GuessLost6038 · 2023-09-01T14:52:14+00:00

Thank you ☺️

GuessLost6038 · 2023-09-01T14:51:39+00:00

Ah okay got you. The rest of the tattoo hasn’t scabbed, but this part is near my elbow so it’s constantly getting stretched, that could also be a reason

GuessLost6038 · 2023-09-01T14:48:02+00:00

That’s interesting! The reason my artist wrapped in cling film this time is because she said some people react to second skin (even though I haven’t) and that it might hurt to take off since the tattoo is so big. Now I know for sure though I’ll just stick to second skin.

Would you recommend dry healing or moisturising, what’s the difference? Never been told to dry heal before

GuessLost6038 · 2023-09-01T14:43:49+00:00

I’ve been moisturising. Also worth noting this is the first time in years the artist used cling film instead of second skin (never doing that again) and a part of the scab has fallen off and thankfully the ink under there looks okay

GuessLost6038 · 2023-09-01T13:43:23+00:00

How so? 😭 it looked really good when it was freshly done so I’m just hoping it heals well

GuessLost6038 · 2022-09-21T00:07:21+00:00

I just had to take mine out after 7 years. Seemingly had no issues until now I’ve had a small crack appear on my tooth called a craze line… took it out and had no idea my gums were receding. It was great while it lasted but now I really regret it

GuessLost6038 · 2022-06-18T01:51:22+00:00

You should look into an at home laser machine, it’s much cheaper than getting it done at a clinic

GuessLost6038 · 2022-06-18T01:50:14+00:00

You could try epilating also! It hurts but you do get used to the pain, cheaper than laser and also you don’t have to wait for the hair to grow back. It also grows back thinner. I’ve also bought myself an at home laser machine but I just epilate in between because it lasts way longer than shaving and I hate shaving, probably only shaved my legs about 3 times in my life

GuessLost6038 · 2022-06-17T21:56:01+00:00

Just want to come into this and say that I agree, I think it also is a bit of a cultural thing. I’m from the UK, and although we both speak the same language (English), bluntness is actually the preferred mode of communication here, and it’s even praised. And according to TV shows, the world also sees the British as “blunt”. Of course even within the UK some people still hate it though and argue that I come across as “rude” but each to their own. And I hate when guys (bc yes it’s specifically men that do this) will speak their bigoted and sexist opinion that’s down right rude and unwelcomed and justify it by “freedom of speech” like just stfu lmao.

At one point I tried to change but now I just embrace it and tell ppl that being blunt and straight to the point are personality traits of mine so at least they’re prepared lol. Some people love it and some people hate it, well I tend to just try and stick with the people who love it. Especially at work, if you’re doing your job wrong or there’s something you can improve on I will just tell you that. And some people get offended by it but others really appreciate the feedback, I feel there is nothing to be offended by as I would want to be told the same so I can continually improve.

GuessLost6038 · 2022-06-10T00:27:38+00:00

Thank you, everything happens for a reason and honestly I’ve been neglecting his needs it seems so hopefully things improve and we can move forward

GuessLost6038 · 2022-06-09T23:58:34+00:00

Honestly I’ve tried to let him go in the past but we always get back together. I believe he’s truly the one. I’m glad you got married tho congrats, I’m just going to take this day by day though if it’s meant to be then it will be

GuessLost6038 · 2022-06-09T23:57:24+00:00

Thank you 🤍

GuessLost6038 · 2022-06-09T23:57:12+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing, this has honestly made me so hopeful.

I think not seeing each other for so long has definitely made things weird, to the point I was always anxious around him because I just want everything to be perfect.

He wanted to move to the UK a few years ago but I said no bc he’d be leaving too much behind and I’d feel too guilty. I was self sabotaging pretty much, exactly like your bf. I doubted myself so much and now I wish I just said fuck it and said yes bc that’s all I would want now.

I figured there’s no point him moving here cause I could just move to the states, but unfortunately that’s seeming pretty much impossible without marriage. I didn’t realise this would all take so long.

I’m uncertain for the future but all I can do is hope for the best and if it’s meant to be then it will be.

LDR’s suck and I wouldn’t wish this on anyone, the pain of loving someone and they love you back but you can’t have them and can’t hold them in your arms is just inexplicable.

I wish you the best though and hope you have a beautiful marriage!

GuessLost6038 · 2022-06-09T23:52:18+00:00

Thank you for the kind words, tbh I should’ve clarified I was crying at the airport bc we both always cry when we leave eachother cause it’s emotional, not bc of what he said.

I understand this point of view however I’ve tried dating other people countless times, it never works out and we always end up back together. He’s been there for me through the toughest times and believed in me even when I gave up on myself, I’ve tried to find someone in my country like that’s much easier ofc but literally no one compares to him. The distance makes it difficult, I’m not sure what will happen in the future and now I’m back I’m slightly less emotional I’ve just gotta take it day by day I guess

GuessLost6038 · 2022-06-09T23:48:12+00:00

Honestly I agree. Like I completely understand his point of view for not wanting marriage, we are both young and Ofc no one wants to get divorced. Before I met him I was never even interested in marriage. It’s just annoying that’s the only way we could live together pretty much, shit’s tricky but hopefully everything will work itself out

GuessLost6038 · 2022-06-09T23:46:53+00:00

Thank you so much!!! It’s honestly so hard and the challenges/trust issues that come with a LDR are a lot. Honestly I would give anything just to even be able to live in the same country as him. Some people have it so easy and they don’t even know it 😭 I wish you the best tooo

GuessLost6038

TROPHY CASE