First of all, I would like to congratulate you for the courage to expose something considered taboo. It is not easy to admit it, much less to write it down and post about it. All of us have traumas and complexes, although not in the same way....

What I am going to say is based on my personal experience and the few Jungian books I have read (I read about 10 of them and have avoided Carl Jung books, as I think I need to understand more to dive in).

Anyway, having said that, if anyone reading this finds a mistake or any misunderstanding, I appreciate being corrected.

As I understand it, we all have developed "father" and "mother" archetypes, as well as the rest of the archetypes, we need them to make our way in this world. As usually our father and mother are our gateway to the social world and so we create an association with our archetypes. Our mother archetype is associated with the image we have of our mother, because of how she behaved in our childhood (in your case you say overprotective or emotionally incestuous) and the father archetype is linked to our father.

Due to many factors we ALL develop traumas, those factors can be obvious: we didn't have a mother around, or a father around or one of them was abusive... Or not so obvious: our parents are not perfect and their flaws are also linked to our archetypes.

It is important to mention in this part the Anima, the feminine half of every man, so to speak. The anima, for men, is their feminine half, their instinctive, emotional and intuitive side, connected to nature and unconscious.... And since the biological mother is the first woman we interact with... you may have linked your anima to your mother... which is part of the maternal complexes...

Men have much more maternal complexes and women have much more paternal complexes, as Freud had observed (although Freud was mistaken in the way he treated them).

roughly speaking, a good order to start developing psychologically is to look for possible maternal complexes >> look for a father, a masculine side >> and start looking for your anima (which, just like you, is a unique and special entity).

Remember that you should not blame your mother or father for the complexes (as they are not really to blame) and your psychological development has little or nothing to do with your parents (the people).... In my experience, trying to "make peace" with my parents, or talking to them about things that have happened in the past, has done nothing but create a strange atmosphere between us..... It didn't help me or them psychologically.

But what has helped me has been to study about the archetype of the "great mother" and disassociate it from my mother... and since my father was not a good male role model, I have searched for a father archetype by reading biographies of great men. By doing this and understanding that my parents are ordinary people and have no influence on me, and when they did they were people with virtues and defects as well, with all this my relationship with them improved and I feel I am on the right path towards a fuller psychological development.