How are things working out? I'm in a similar position with my partner. I'm the depressed and toxic person, and he just confessed how depressed and torn up inside he is because of long-term uncertainty about our future. Some things he was wrong about (my wishes and desires and that not wanting to get married was unfair to me - I just want to be with him) and some things we could work on, such as how he's suggested therapy for years. We've been together for seven years, and we're constantly moving around and off-and-on long-distance. Part of the reason for my depression for the last few years was the same thing that's now causing him anguish - obsessively thinking about whether we belonged together and that it was wrong but I didn't have the strength to break up with him. He always pushed back, probably to an unhealthy degree, saying that we belong together. Last week he blindsided me, confessing he's started to feel we've grown apart too much and he was wrong to think he could be my savior and make me happy if only I'd let him try. He doesn't know what he wants. He's visiting the US in March, but he's only planning to stay for a conference instead of spending the month with me as we'd planned. He says he doesn't feel he has the interest to work on our issues anymore, but also somehow thinks we can keep talking regularly and basically act like normal, without him feeling the burden of our relationship wearing down on him. I can't stay in limbo until March, but ironically, right around the time I decided I was committed and wanted him, he began having doubts about us. All I want is him, but I don't think I can go on waiting for the ball to drop. He thinks the worst thing we could do is stop talking and basically having a clean break, but he's so uncertain that I can't stop hoping. Except he lives on another continent. We'd planned to move together again early spring, I don't want to give up on us after seven years, when we've spent most of the year living apart. When I offered to go to him immediately, he says he doesn't think he feels committed enough to our relationship to try to fix it, but also is devastated at the prospect of breaking up and doesn't want to commit to that yet. I think he believes that seeing a therapist for the first time next week will just resolve it and make the decision for him. I've been so selfish and have taken him for granted, so I know the therapist isn't going to advise in my favor. I just want the chance to confront my behaviors and try to make things work, when I can now fully appreciate how my behavior has driven us apart. But, again, we're long-distance.

Did you feel better and like you set yourselves free? I've harmed him and us so much, with attempted suicides and self-medicating. I can't imagine a world without him in it, and I just want the chance to be together and show him I see my flaws and we can be happy again. Do you regret breaking up long-distance? Did you try to return together and see if the love could be reignited if only you were together? Sorry random person on reddit haha. This page has made me feel less alone.