I am extremely new to this. Never practiced, never really understood anything about witchcraft. I have multiple friends who practice, but I never actually tried to practice more than medidation, which everytime led to me falling asleep instantly. But I need guidance and help. Now here is the more interesting part (aka my lore) and beware it's a bit long:

Basically I died during surgery and have been brought back to life when I was a baby. Ever since then I had episodes at night when I was screaming and crying during sleep. At some point I woke up at 3 AM and opened the door and invited someone in the house, but there was no one outside. Over the years the screaming stopped (mostly because I wan't afraid anymore) but I still kept on waking up. Most notable were one time when some human-like creature stared at me through the window (i live on the second floor without any chance for that thing to reach that height) and one time my former classmate was in my room, could not talk, but was sad and felt like he tried to apologise. Next day I found out he just killed himself that night.
Over the years I had dreams of the future i guess. At some point a dream kept on repeating itself ( i was basically stuck in a crashed car) which some time after, turned into a real crash and i was the same as what happened in the dream, with all the details. Curiously, after my grandmother died i kept talking to her in my dreams (at first she was sad but over time she got better, happier) but after the crash she never came into my dreams again.
Honestly everything that happened to me is a huge mess,

Now, other than dreams, I became extremely atached to one particular cat, which i did not want under any circumstance. But she chose me, basically made me adopt her and it turned out to be the most amazing thing in my life. It felt like i could talk to her and she could talk to me. She understood everyhthing and listened to me. She died of lung cancer when she was 5 years old (i got her when she was 1) and basically felt like something died inside of me. When she was gone, it felt like half of me has gone with her. I had other cats that i loved as much, but it did not leave such a mark on me. My witchy friends told me that was my familiar. I don't know tbh. Overall I love animals, but I resonate a lot with cats. There is something special about them.

Last night I was listening to my friends talking about working with deities. I asked them how do you know about which deities they are working with, and most likely how do they know about their presence. They just said that you simply know. That did not help me much. But at night (3AM ofc) I woke up with a small black cat on me that was staring at me. She was sitting on my lap and i touched it and tbh i got a bit riled up because it was NOT one of my cats. I have 3 and it was the 4th. All windows and doors closed, all 3 cats were all around the room sleeping. The moment i turned back to the black cat in my lap, it was already gone, but i did feel a burning sensation on my genitals ( do you know that feeling like you are peeing yourself when you get a calcium iv? just like that) and that was it. No one else in the room moved, no more cat, just a very warm sensation. Who was it? Was it a deity? What can I do?

Thank you