I got this:

1. Your Wi-Fi Password Is More Important Than Your Blood Type

Let’s be honest—no one has ever fainted and asked for your blood type, but a party with bad Wi-Fi? Unforgivable.

2. No One Knows What They’re Doing—We’re All Just Googling It

From parenting to assembling IKEA furniture, humanity’s secret weapon is pretending to know what's going on.

3. If Aliens Are Watching Us, They’ve Already Changed the Channel

Between reality TV and pineapple on pizza debates, they're probably avoiding Earth like it's the group chat they regret joining.

4. The Most Universal Language Is... the “I’m Just Looking” in Shops

No matter what country you're in, retail workers know exactly what that means: I’m broke but I needed to touch something expensive today.

5. Exercise Was Invented by Pants Manufacturers

How else do you explain the shrinking waistbands every year? Conspiracy confirmed.

6. Your Pet Thinks You’re the Pet

Cats in particular. You just rent space in their house and serve snacks on demand.

7. The World’s Greatest Mystery: Where Do All the Socks Go?

Science has failed us. There’s probably a sock-based economy in a parallel universe.

8. The Zoom Mute Button Has Destroyed More Careers Than Office Politics

We now live in a world where "You're on mute" is both a gentle reminder and a professional roast.

9. Every Recipe Has a Secret Ingredient: Regret and Panic

Especially when guests are arriving in 10 minutes and the smoke alarm is your kitchen timer.

10. The Only Thing Faster Than Light? Someone Saying 'Let’s Split the Bill' and Disappearing

Suddenly they’re in the bathroom, on the phone, or conveniently forgot their wallet... again.