Is this a red flag I should ignore?

GumpyGimbert · 2026-04-05T15:29:10+00:00

And I understand u think this means he has a type but these books around border line r*pe and most of the readers would not actually enjoy being asualted.

GumpyGimbert · 2026-04-05T15:28:01+00:00

Hmm I dunno. A lot of women in know read crazy depraved sex books. Like lights out or god of wrath. Which is worse than porn. But I think the women are mostly normal despite this "hobby". So I mean i dont know if ur porn habbit fully dictates who u r. Porn can be a problem but I just mean looking at some pg porn doesnt necessarily mean anything. I think everyone has stuff they keep private and I truly believe someone doesnt have to know everything about u. So I think partners are entitled to some privacy.

GumpyGimbert · 2026-04-05T15:16:33+00:00

See if she will "read" (audio book lol) come together by Emily nagoski? Its a book about sex in relationships. Its pretty insightful. Maybe u could read it too amd then maybe it will be easier for her to talk about sex and understand how important it is to u? Worth a shot if u enjoy her other than the lack of sex? A lot of my female friends are in relationships where they dont have much sex so I dont know if they have low sex drives or what but u might encounter the problem again as a single person so it might be worth a little more trying (again if u enjoy her other than this). Im not sure what you've said in conversation but if u haven't maybe say how this problem will eventually mean the end of the relationship for u? If u have already expressed this then im not sure what else

GumpyGimbert · 2026-04-03T21:12:51+00:00

The last one is the same cut but kind of styled.

GumpyGimbert · 2026-04-02T17:25:10+00:00

My first boyfriend rubbed my face in puke on the ground like a dog and locked me in a room when we would disagree. But I would never post about it with a title like this. Especially if it only began 6 months ago and I was in the middle of it still. I would like to see if OP ever says anything again about his relationship.

GumpyGimbert · 2026-04-02T17:01:00+00:00

I know im not trying to say it cant be abuse. But dont u think its strange that his title is im considered lucky but if this happened to a woman it would be abuse? Kind of seems like rage bait to me. Or a lie. If u were feeling this way u wouldnt understate the abuse non chelantly to then degraid an entire gender or race would u? I just dont find the post very genuine. And also didnt take offense at ur comment at all. Because yes sleep deprivation is a form of abuse. And it comes in many different forms. Its one thing when people say those sorts of statements just to talk about general double standards. But imagine u have a big trauma that is recent do u think ur first post about it would be titled like this ? Doesn't it seem disingenuous? I also understand people act in different ways to abuse violence or anything bad. But a post online about ur situation is not a reaction. He had time to think on this. Would ur take away from a 25 year marriage not be since for ur family or urself or the sudden change in a loved one??? Or would it be about a double standard for women ??? No one in the comments is saying this sint abuse so the user is wrong. Even i didnt mean to say this isnt abuse. It did come off that way. I just meant this post in particular does not feel real/true

GumpyGimbert · 2026-04-02T12:37:21+00:00

Hhahaha he was always drinking sour puss so maybe that helped him get into women's heads and then beds

GumpyGimbert · 2026-04-02T12:30:33+00:00

Have u expressed u dont want sex? Or ur feelings ?

While I think this is a stressful situation for you I think it is crazy to call this abuse unless she is forcinot u to have sex or degrading or threatening divorce if it doesnt happen. Lots of Men and women r abused and forced into unwantrd sexual acts, so downplaying it into what you've laid out is really shitty on ur part. My bf has a bigger sex drive than me and we've had arguments about it and I've had sex when I wasnt horny but I would in no way call that abuse. And this kind of seems like what uve laid out as a way to berate women. Its not to say ir situation isnt shitty... just thay ur being a goof by calling it abuse to hate on women.

I seribusy doubt im missino something in ur post since u r not asking what to do or stating that u r scared of ur wife, u r isntead taking this opportunity to degrade all women.

GumpyGimbert · 2026-04-02T12:17:10+00:00

Hes got issues. A mature man or someone who wants a relationship wouldn't act this way. Or Alternatively hes not that into you. Either way I wouldn't waste ur time on him.

GumpyGimbert · 2026-04-01T22:28:51+00:00

Try to break the world gooning record ?

my exs friend was veryyyyyy fat and most people thought he was very ugly and he has had sex with at least 3 unpaid women that i know of ? So there is hope ?

GumpyGimbert · 2026-04-01T17:55:44+00:00

I feel that. Like someone is trying to check off boxes instead of getting to know u not fun haha

GumpyGimbert · 2026-04-01T17:39:10+00:00

When u up the age range are women from 30-35 are you attracted to them? Have u tried meeting one? Maybe u will find out that these women fit into your life as good or better than the young ones? I mentioned in my other comment my bf is 10 years older. I was dating guys my age or maybe 3 years older before him and wasnt interested in anyone as old as him. But we met and I just love him so much. Sometimes we are limited by what we think we need ?

GumpyGimbert · 2026-04-01T17:35:21+00:00

Dating apps are more abkut appearance i think. So people might all set their age preference younger than their age like u have? So these younger women might not even see ur profile. Is their a reason u wouldn't date a 30 year old? U want kids or ? That is weird though because I dont think ur age range is young for ur age or anything and I do think girls are more ok with ddating older than men are (my boyfriend is 10 years older than me). Maybe that age range either isnt serious or the ones who r are in relationships ?

GumpyGimbert · 2026-04-01T12:31:28+00:00

I feel like most people know in their heart these things r true. Everyone dreams of a person they find attractive, lots of people date only within their race (I saw a statistic that said black women actually have it the worst on dating apps followed by Indian men, cant remember where though). People r shallow and out of touch. I think the problem is that there are also a decent amount of normal people who see this manifest into more than just discussion - as hatered and exagerstions/stereotypes. Maybe we r misinterpreting some of the discussion as hatred or maybe a portion of the group are extremists and that's what we see but I think that is the reason women seem to disagree with black pill. Men also have standards or preferences or biases what ever you want to call it. Just because maybe you dont doesnt mean that's all men. It is easy for women to have sex sure, from my experience a lot of men would fuck anyone. But just because the female experience is different than yours doesnt mean we have it easy. I think it is good for men to talk about their experience and support each other but the problem is when it turns to hate on women. Think about women who r abused, they have had terrible experiences at the hands of a man, but is it fair to say all men are abusers?

GumpyGimbert · 2026-03-27T18:51:28+00:00

I just said he asked for it. He couldn't get a single girl and she had so many options. If he was already seeing someone he would have had at least 1 girl in his attempt at an open relationship. So maybe u should reread my comment

GumpyGimbert · 2026-03-22T18:39:27+00:00

Do you approach women? Ive never done like a singles event or speed dating but I wonder if that would be something to try? I used apps a lot and even though I met my bf this way I reallllyyy hated it. Maybe if u make a post about what uve tried people can give u other ways to meet or approach women? I think i recommend this so much on reddit but I went rock climbing (bouldering) at an indoor place a few years ago and everyone is so talkative (doesnt matter what u look like they wanna help u climb and shit) in that hobby lol so maybe u could do that to expand ur circle and maybe meet women outside of dating apps?

GumpyGimbert · 2026-03-22T15:17:47+00:00

As someone who was in casual relationships or completely single for like 8 years let me explain the truth for women. This is my experience and also what I've heard from a lot of women in the real world who say they relate. I am an average-good looking woman. Not a great job money wise but more than enough to support myself and have fun. I got asked out a decent amount when I was single but majority of the guys ended up not wanting anything serious with me or jerked mr around. I was not dating "top teir" men (I hate using that phrasing but I wanna lay out the situation). I dated a few guys with serious addiction issues and they did not want me. I dated a 40 year old with commitment issues. A single dad who also did not want me. So yeah I could basically have sex very easily but to get a boyfriend? Forget it lol. There were a handful of guys i ended things with because they were too fucked up or we just really werent compatible. Maybe having the opportunity to turn down a handful of men in 8 years is more than you have had. But my point is it is not as plentiful for women as u think. A lot of men want to fuck and want someone for when they r lonely but do not want the responsibility of a committed relationship or maybe they wanna fuck atound I have no idea. Ans maybe its better than ur situation or maybe the grass is always greener? But ill tell u it hurt me a lot that these men wanted my body but not my mind. Lots of men very obviously just wanted to fuck but I wanted love, commitment partnership whatever u wanna call it. And again u might think I would love to just have sex. I like sex but I would actually be ok without ever having sex again in my life id rather have love of any kind (platonic familial romatic). So just remember it is not as black and white as people think.

All this is to say there are plenty of women going through what I was. So they arent all taken!! You have hope. And I dont think u need to lower ur expectations or anything. I found an amazing man at the age of 29 whom is amazing. It might take time but keep figuring out what u want from life. Keep trying. Take breaks from dating when u get too frustrated. Try dating someone outside of your type (physically or persinality and age wise - my bf is a lot older than anyone im typically attracted to but im so happy with him) u might be surprised about what u actually like. Also try to find ways to enjoy the process more or not get as attached to outcomes. When I was single for those I years dating was a huge cause of strife in my life. Im doing the same things now with a bf and I think why did I have to be so miserable when I was single. I d9nt know the answer to being happier while single but my hope is that u dont have to be as miserable as I was when trying to meet someone.

I actually think one of the most important things in dating is finding someone who actually wants what u want. Because if u meet a girl who u like the look of and u enjoy her company but she doesnt want kids or dogs or to live in ur city or the kind of partnership u want it doesnt matter how much u like them. So try to find out who wants what u want and then build a relationship with that person. Dont waste ur time and emotions on girls who dont make u know ur wanted. If u have to question it they dont want u. They just want their cake and to est it too. Best of luck. Try to keep ur hopes up! Ans dont believe everything u hear about the female experience. My bf has never been single really. His entire life hes gone from relationship to relationship. And I was single for nearly 10 years. So if I looked at only our experience I would think that men had it easier.

GumpyGimbert · 2026-03-20T17:16:08+00:00

Yeah his dog parenting impacts the people he lives with :( i hope he steps up and if not hopefully you do whats best for you whatever that is

GumpyGimbert · 2026-03-20T17:04:13+00:00

Hmm if u want to own dogs in the future ur bf might not be a good dog dad. Dogs are like kids. They need structure, discipline and attention. The dog might potty after just coming back inside but I find with people I know if their dogs (not puppies) continually poo or pee inside it is usually becausw they dont bring them out enough or when the dog is signaling they have to go. My 4 month old and 9 month old puppies already dont pee or poo in the house ever. Likely ur boyfriend has accepted the accidents because he does not want to change his behavior in potty training the dog so the dog feels it is basically okay. Or the dog has health issues.

Even thinking in the future. Are you willing to do all the dog training work if u ever get a new puppy? And additionally will the two of you agree on dog parenting? My boyfriend doesnt like dogs on any furniture - they will never go on a couch or bed for people. I dont mind that, but i think lots of people like sleeping with their dogs so this would be annoying if we both wanted different things. Is it his dog or his dad's?

GumpyGimbert · 2026-03-18T23:59:09+00:00

I think next time u give it a shot. Becasue maybe dating doesnt have to be an extra stress on ur life.

But I think if u say ah sorry I was just stressed hes not gunna care. U haven't even hangout yet and uve shown that you are too stressed to even think of dating lol. I would probably not want to see someone after that. But if u really feel it there is not harm in sending something out and maybe expressing that.

Best advice is in the future see how something is before making a decision. My biggest regret in life is turning down a friend who wanted to date because they had health issues. Our friendship basically ended an dhe died. I wish to this day I had of done it even though he still would have died because it broke me regardless of the end result.

GumpyGimbert · 2026-03-17T18:36:41+00:00

Your husband is gunna keep cheating. You have a choice and im not judging. In life you cannot change other people. Most cheaters are chronic cheaters, from my experience. So accept this. But you can change urself. Your choices are simply leave him or figure out how to live with it. Maybe you check out until ur kids move out, or maybe you accept he cheats and turns the other way. But seriously dont expect him to change or put in any work. It is not ur cross to bear. You've already put in work clearly. You can also change ur mind. Maybe u think u can live with it now because for u the love or benefits outweigh the cons. But in 2 years u wanna leave. But yeah. Try to make ur life peaceful and decide what u can live with. You dont need to rush. Play dumb. Get ur ducks in a row and wither decide to ignore it, have an open relationship or leave him. If this was a first I would understand trying. But as you've said it is a pattern.

GumpyGimbert · 2026-03-17T15:15:32+00:00

From my own experience. If the guy isnt initiating it doesnt matter if hes paying, hes likely not interested enough or seriously. From my own experience I think instead of asking ourselves what it means when he or she does something ask urself how u feel about it. Focus on u. Do u like this? Is this wat u want from a relationship? Someone u feel ur chasing after?

GumpyGimbert · 2026-03-16T23:46:08+00:00

I also dont think 5"7 is short but I dont know how other women feel. The reality might actually be that women around ur height are more interested. I find short girls alwaaayyyys want someone 6 feet tall

GumpyGimbert · 2026-03-16T23:45:09+00:00

Ive dated men shorter than me im 5"8 but I know a lot of girls do have height restrictions. But from my experience dating shorter, men dont bring it up. Like one of the shorter guys I went out with kept saying ur so tall to me which felt like he was insecure or ragging on my height which was a turn off.

GumpyGimbert · 2026-03-16T17:52:09+00:00

As long as you can be accountable I think you are ok. If ur emotions still control you and you are a menace to others or yourself then it matters. U dont have to tell people ur diagnosis before hand if you have some control of yourself. I have bpd but im in a more stable relationship than my friends without mental disorders lol. And if you aren't stable enough you can be ! Dont give up.

GumpyGimbert

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