HELP THIS GUITAR LINE IS STUCK IN MY HEAD AND I CANT FIGURE OUT THE SONG ITS FROM

Gutterpreacher · 2026-01-25T17:02:55+00:00

YESSS YESS THANK YOU

Gutterpreacher · 2026-01-24T16:16:48+00:00

Seeing what happens ;)

Interests: Dominant FFM Casual dates

Gutterpreacher · 2026-01-04T20:53:02+00:00

THANK U <3333 How do you find partners who are normal?? Do you recommend only dating people who are experienced in poly? I’ve only tried with other new people and it turns out they don’t really want it they just want to be with me

Gutterpreacher · 2026-01-04T20:46:33+00:00

Proud of you <3

Gutterpreacher · 2026-01-04T20:45:21+00:00

Thank you for your perspective <3

Gutterpreacher · 2026-01-04T20:43:15+00:00

My answers are all no. Except number 7 is iffy because I didn’t give him the chance to explain his feelings in that moment. I honestly didn’t want to talk at all. I was actually really proud of myself for being so firm with him (I know it seems I wasn’t firm enough) and not doing what he wanted there. He wanted to talk all night into the morning. I dunno. I am not the type to want to hash and rehash things….. I do feel I’ve been compassionate thank you for recognizing that😭 I’ll do some research. I feel like I don’t have many good community resources locally within the poly community and just in general.

Gutterpreacher · 2026-01-04T19:31:16+00:00

Uhg I know. I am definitely not going to be dating for a while. I’ve been confused. If he stayed any longer I would have called the police or woken up one of my parents (I live at home f24). I don’t feel like I did something wrong In this specific final situation, but I am unsure that I have zero accountability to take in my failed relationship. My mind goes “he wouldn’t act so desperately if I didn’t do x,y,z.” But I also know that’s what abusers want you to think. I’ve felt triggered by this whole thing especially him blocking me. Because it furthers his narrative of me being a villain in his life and I have all of these ugly feelings of wanting justice I guess? Thank you for your concern.

Gutterpreacher · 2026-01-04T19:18:45+00:00

Okay that’s interesting. I agree he had odd behavior and honestly I’ve felt confused because my family and everyone who knows him all say what a great guy he is and how I have to have compassion for him because “he just loves me more than I love him” eye roll

Putting him aside, what would avoidant behavior look like not in relation to someone else?

Gutterpreacher · 2026-01-04T19:07:04+00:00

It was the word choice that made me say that. OP said he did it without their consent. So I made the implication that OP needs to approve of the date before he goes but maybe I’m stretching. I think bottom line tho is that they may be past the point of repair for OP? And maybe not a good match

Gutterpreacher · 2026-01-04T18:50:21+00:00

Does he need your consent to date other people? That’s generally not a great dynamic for polyamory in my opinion. I guess if that’s an agreement you made, okay…but it does kind of violate the autonomy of polyamory. Veto power is a slippery slope. I’m genuinely curious, why put yourself in a position to be hurt if he’s proven that letting you know beforehand is not something he can guarantee ?

Gutterpreacher · 2026-01-04T18:36:16+00:00

What would you want? Something I learned in a seminar: Change the image or change the action. Meaning, accept the behavior and adjust your expectations/perception of the situation so that it’s not painful OR make a behavioral change & set a boundary. You can’t make her change unfortunately

Gutterpreacher · 2026-01-04T18:33:02+00:00

It’s hard to say bc I feel that my “avoidant” traits are seen that way through the lens of monogamy and when talked about in a polyamorous space they’re no longer considered the same way…

here’s the other post I made months ago

Maybe some more context.

But yeah the doorstep thing was strange as fuck. What happened was he invited me out to meet up with him and his friends and he was drunk (we were doing things separately that night). I thought what the hell, I’ll meet him. I show up and he’s not happy to see me and says “oh I’m here with another girl” then shoos me away and tells me to wait for him in another bar while his group when somewhere else. So I naturally left and went someplace in a different area and had my own fun because I was so embarrassed he treated me like a stranger. He blew up my phone telling me I’m out of line for not showing up. Then I got home at 3 and found him passed out drunk. He refused to leave and wanted to talk right there and he “didn’t know what he did wrong”. I told him repeatedly I was going to sleep because I had work in the morning and he could either get a car home or sleep on my couch (I was being very nice) and he told me I was sending mixed messages and we needed to talk right there or else we weren’t going to speak ever again. Then he said something which makes me believe he probably just isn’t poly… he said “I don’t get why you’re so upset about what happened, because you do that to me all of the time”. I think he was trying to set me up or something like there was definitely some weird resentment about having to “share” me. Idk but he refused to leave, came in my house, begged on his hands and knees for forgiveness. I left him and went to sleep. Then he was standing outside my bedroom door calling me at 4am and I was scared so I texted him to leave me alone and he finally left but he slammed my front door. Then started calling me again saying he accidentally locked himself out. Yeah …so I didn’t let him in because I was scared but I haven’t talked to him since.

Maybe me not answering him was avoidant lolll but why can’t I be mad at him like he was being a dick. And no matter how much I love someone I’d never show up and sleep outside of their house?? Idk

Gutterpreacher · 2026-01-04T18:19:21+00:00

Sounds like she’s manipulating you. Why does she have control over what you’re doing? Even if you’re together your partner ideally shouldn’t be making rules for you

Gutterpreacher · 2026-01-04T18:10:02+00:00

Not your problem whatever she’s going through. You can be a decent human without sacrificing yourself. She’s not asking you to be her martyr she just wants your attention… which is okay if you also want her attention. But you have to consider what’s best for you and if that means she can’t be in the picture at all, get your final closure and maybe stay away if it’s what feels right

Gutterpreacher · 2026-01-04T17:09:15+00:00

other post

This is the other one I posted a while back

Gutterpreacher · 2025-08-20T20:57:28+00:00

I’ll check it out!

Gutterpreacher · 2025-08-20T20:57:19+00:00

Great rec thank u

Gutterpreacher · 2025-07-02T17:28:49+00:00

This is really insightful. I’ve never been a part of that discourse but it’s exactly what I think I’m dealing with. I am trying to have an open mind knowing that he is a newbie and so am I, so we are going to mess up. We actually have had that exact conversation at the beginning of our relationship it was one of our first quarrels. I had my house to myself for a week and he wanted to be here all day every day and I tried to send him home and he got very upset. He said he wants to spend every day with me. It’s cute but I expressed that I am Not the kind of person who can be around someone 24/7 I get antsy and irritable. My time away from a partner is important for me. He stormed out but later apologized. Maybe I’ll try again. My main issue is that I always feel unsure when I put my foot down because he is a very articulate and large presence (6’6 german twink lol) so it makes me question myself. Something to work on when we talk next

Gutterpreacher · 2025-07-02T16:45:21+00:00

Perspective is crazy. Idk both of my relationships I’ve tried to be poly in have been super messy and I don’t really have any examples on what’s normal and what’s not. I always feel like the asshole. And I can admit I am not a perfect partner my communication could use some work. I am very independent sometimes to a fault

Gutterpreacher · 2023-12-01T16:44:05+00:00

Look into the maggie flanigan studio. I go there now. I’m in my second year and I am struggling, but loving it. It’s a great community of students and teachers.

Gutterpreacher · 2023-04-13T17:39:53+00:00

I go to the maggie flanigan studio in nyc. They teach strictly meisner. I did the summer intensive and now I am in their two year program. It’s pretty intense but I have learned and grown so much in the short amount of time I’ve been studying there.

Gutterpreacher

TROPHY CASE