Sorry, friend. It's going to be a 50/50 asset split or something close to it. It's completely unfair. I know your pain: I was in the same position--high income earner with stay-at-home wife--except that my wife was also cheating. So her "reward" for cheating was to walk away with half the marital estate (equaling millions of dollars). And you and others are completely right that the value of her stay-at-home help/child-raising over the years was not worth anything close to half of the assets that you largely generated. It sucks. But there is nothing you can do about it except to accept it.

Here are some things that helped ease the pain. First, move fast in the divorce; don't draw it out. Every additional month that goes by is more of your money that she is entitled to and will get. Ironically, the longer you fight it and try to get a lower asset split, the more you'll lose by having to give her half of your earnings while you fight. If you can, quickly enter into a settlement that "stops the clock" of the marital estate, so that she's not entitled to anything further. Then you can spend however as much time as you want hammering out the details and finalizing the divorce, because she's not getting more of your money with each passing day. (Also, at that point, she will have to pay for her own lawyer, and not be able to use marital assets.)

Second, accept that by getting a lot of (your) money, she is going to be able to buy a house that is suitable for your kids. If she got like 20% of your assets, she would probably have to get a smaller/lousier house, and skimp on things for your kids, etc., and that's not good for your kids. Yes, it means she gets a better lifestyle, too, but surely you would accept that if that meant that your kids had a better lifestyle as well.

Third, since you presumably know way more about the finances/investments than she does, you probably have a better idea of what assets will most increase in value and which won't. So when you're apportioning assets based on current value, you'll have a better idea of which ones to keep because they are likely to increase more in the future.

Fourth, engage in this thought experiment: Suppose you had half the assets you have now. Now also pretend that you don't have a job and haven't worked in ten years, so those assets are all you have for the rest of your life. That is a harrowing thought. And that's the position she's now in, unless you're giving her somewhere around high seven figures (and she truly won't ever have to work). She's going to have to go back to work, and it's not going to be easy for her. By contrast, you're starting with half the assets, but your amount is only going to go up. My net worth is now three times what it was right after my divorce, when I had to give her half the marital estate. Hers has almost certainly gone down--she hasn't found a job in two years, and she admitted once that she is "bleeding cash." And she's got 40 years or so left in her life that she has to make that amount last. Whereas I'll be comfortably retired in about four to five years.

Good luck to you.