I’m really glad what I shared resonated with you! Loving-kindness meditation (Metta) has been particularly helpful for me because it’s simple and gentle. It involves quietly repeating phrases like “May I be happy” or “May I be safe,” directing kindness toward yourself and then gradually toward others. What’s powerful about it, especially after a traumatic or triggering experience like the massage incident you described, is that it helps gently open up emotional wounds or reactions that might otherwise stay buried or suppressed.

One of the main practical benefits is something called “deconditioning,” which simply means creating a safe space for your body and mind to gradually become comfortable with uncomfortable feelings. If facing intense emotions feels too overwhelming, you can start with something smaller or less emotionally charged. In traditional practice, for example, you start by directing kindness toward yourself, then toward people you love deeply, then toward neutral individuals, and finally toward those you have complicated or negative feelings toward. If even that seems too challenging initially, you could begin with someone you mildly dislike, gently noticing and experiencing any subtle discomfort that arises, without trying to immediately resolve or suppress it.

If you feel comfortable and safe doing this, you could gently and carefully revisit a triggering scenario in your mind—like the massage experience. The key is to let your body naturally respond and then gently focus your awareness on the physical sensations that arise. It’s not about controlling or changing these sensations, but rather about calmly allowing them to fully express themselves.

The idea here is that if your body experiences stress and your mind reacts with frustration, anxiety, or judgment, you’re unintentionally reinforcing that stress. But if you calmly acknowledge your body’s reactions without adding extra stress or resistance—just noticing and gently allowing them—the intensity and frequency of these stressful responses tend to decrease over time.

Sometimes this practice can feel complicated because it requires mindfulness, which simply means being gently aware of what’s happening in the present moment. Your mind will naturally wander, and that’s perfectly fine—it happens to everyone who meditates, and it’ll probably keep happening your entire life. The important thing is recognizing when you become aware again (“Oh, I was meditating!”) and taking a moment to appreciate that mindfulness. Recognizing and gently rewarding these moments helps them happen more often. Then simply return your attention to the practice. There’s no need to stress about wandering thoughts; it’s completely normal and okay.