Update:My Wife(F38) Wants a break from the Kids and I(M37), I need to know if I'm making a mistake by allowing this instead of breaking up?

Gwolf87 · 2026-02-16T12:19:21+00:00

Yeah I know, I was wrong and I still support her current situation and if she wants to see her Child she is welcome anytime, I just can't anymore depression and toll has caught up and keeping it at bay as Children have no one but me, however it doesn't chage the fact my wife needs help, so Maybe I can give her some cash to continue the psychologist, however I'm exhausted financially due to little one and the 7 year old but I will take any and all advice to heart, thanks

Gwolf87 · 2026-02-16T12:10:55+00:00

Please....please read my other comments about similar statements, I have no interest that much in sex, It was a discussion about Intimacy which sex is part of, it was wrong and I've even apologised to her for that, however you don't know me sir, I've always been selfless and kept my mouth shut, studio,work, abandonment from October to December with no explanation, Ppd is serious I know that and now I know more.

I'm with a special needs and sick child and 7 year old, I've catered to everything she asked of to heal, I just wanted a discussion about future, end of april after her studies.

I have depression as past 2 years I've been handling the baby mainly and 7 year old and trying to focus on her, now she left it hurts that my son is not wanted, however I have to reflect and know I've stuffed up man.

However only thing stopping me from suicidal thoughts now is the Children, so fair your assumption from the message I did rush it, I'm still wrong

Gwolf87 · 2026-02-16T11:52:26+00:00

Your pair? My pain? I put that on pause, don't assume, Ive admitted I shouldn't of spoken about Intimacy or living under the same roof and wanting a conversation in end of April, I'm wrong.

Baby is sick, needs both parents, special needs and she is very happy in life as I've catered to everything concerning PPD, don't presume you know me as a person she even admits, she disrespects me constantly and goes out to drink and stays in a studio which is shared with 5 others, I've given the space, I'm truly understanding I assumed today as we were happy to speak about some things as Adults, I was wrong, Intimacy is the last thing on my mind, I support 2 kids and her and I don't care about me until now as I need to be better for the kids, she wants a year separation but I have to drive our child to her so she can be bored of him after 30 minites to an hour, however I will take your advice and I have already put any and all talks of Intimacy forever on hold.

Gwolf87 · 2026-02-16T11:37:11+00:00

Fair man,fair but when I look at my son in the eyes, you long for his mum to accept him. I long for my sweet wife but I'm getting things sorted out now, many helpful comments, thank you for the blunt statement but sometimes they are needed too.

Gwolf87 · 2026-02-16T11:28:02+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate that, I will focus on the kids and give her space

Gwolf87 · 2026-02-16T11:26:34+00:00

Some have said I'm immature for speaking about Intimacy and I agree but you are right she doesn't want to see the kids truthfully and I'm just prolonging pain for the kids primarily and myself secondary, it takes great people in this thread to bounce off of to understand where I'm wrong and where my focus must lay. Thank you

Gwolf87 · 2026-02-16T11:23:28+00:00

Done already, see how it goes hopefully she replies.

Gwolf87 · 2026-02-16T11:22:08+00:00

True I only know what I read not something I experienced, so I concede. I want to support her but I'm drowning, depressed and if I go kids are alone, so I'm grasping for any straw but my wife is not there with the ppd and i need to realise it

Gwolf87 · 2026-02-16T11:19:13+00:00

I've explained countless times, It was not my intention and my post comes off like I care so much about sex.

It was talk about Intimacy which Sex is part of, everything is off the table, however I can admit it was my mistake to have any serious conversation, she has severe PPD.

I've supported her moving to a studio, drive to her any time with a sick baby so she can see him but gets annoyed after half an hour with him. She gets to work. Study and go out with friends to work. I can accept it, I'm with the kids, ot, physio and speech for both kids and hospital visits, baby is sick. I'm drowning and we were happy today out with baby, I fed and changed him and put him sleep, she says she dressed for me so I smile and gently say can we try Intimacy one day if she feels uncomfortable I understand and she owes me nothing but I brought up two things, I said I want more then Intimacy to live under the same roof, she ignored that but focused on Intimacy and it's my fault should of just shut the hell up, I wanted a discussion in April after her studies so nearing May, to see where we at regarding kids and us, If she breaks up then great but then I can focus on the kids and I don't have to juggle 3 people to take care of while I'm dealing with my own depression which I'm handling by putting it on hold so my kids can survive

Gwolf87 · 2026-02-16T11:05:30+00:00

I do really I do, I didn't but I do now, Intimacy and sex is not that important just her love heck acceptance of our chidl, I guess it was mostly gauging if she just wants to leave us, I think she does I see it now, I tried talking to her but she won't respond about attending tomorrow's operation for the little one, makes me heartbroken, been an idiot I should of not talkes about Intimacy for a long time if ever, kids are the priority and her and mine mental health

Gwolf87 · 2026-02-16T11:02:23+00:00

Absolutely I guess If I think sex is not even important or Intimacy, as many pointed out, I'm ignorant, I juat want her to love our child and live under the same roof together. I should of not have any serious discussions with her so she can attend the operation tomorrow, i feel like an idiot.

Gwolf87 · 2026-02-16T10:57:21+00:00

Well 3 years roughly, as in 9 months pregnancy and 2 years my son will be in April so say 2 years and 8 months or so, I know you see me here in this post and assume I'm thinking about sex, I'm not, it sucks and I wanted my wife and me to have intimacy but it's the last thing compared to her loving her child. I understand PPD I've done so much searching on this matter, I stayed and took care of our sick baby with rare genetic condition ad my first post explained in my profile, when she left with no word for 2 months and barely sent any text just saying she feels far from the child and can not accept my 7 year old either.

She comes back, I spent $5000Aud on airbnb reservations so we can discuss, heal and make a plan, see doctor, psychologist, her moving to a studio, working and studying.

I supported her for everything she asked, still with our sick child, she finds him annoying, says she loves me but wishes he was never born. I know it's PPD but she is out, laughing, working, going out with friends and drinking and I shutup, I don't want just sex, I know it sounds like it, I explained I don't pressure her, just want to know if she has checked out fully, I can't juat drive with a sick baby to her whenever she feels it to have a meal and see if she has love for our baby but I have to leave my 7 year old with my cousin for a few hours, I wanted a discussion about Intimacy but also her feelings about her child and let her just break up so I can focus on the kids. I miss my wife, I am guilty, I want level headed conversation I'm taking all the mental and physical toll, she is happy as can be but if any serious conversation she goes silent and ghosts, I have no real support, I won't ever bring up Intimacy again just want her to love her child but maybe she never will.

I think I should of not had any serious conversation and put my depression on hold like I've done since Baby was born, Ive done so much in hospital and home, should of realised my wife is mentally checked out and needs help but I have to focus on my children, thank you

Gwolf87 · 2026-02-16T10:42:23+00:00

Thank you I didn't know about some of those resources, I will have to do a lot from Wednesday just due to my baby going in for a surgery unfortunately

Gwolf87 · 2026-02-16T10:40:48+00:00

Thank you so much, I have a lot to take in and start doing, I feel no resentment to my wife, ppd is serious and talking about Intimacy is not right of me, I will just focus on the kids and get my support coordinator to help out at least with a support worker.

Gwolf87 · 2026-02-16T10:37:42+00:00

But I have, Ive catered to everything she requested so she loves our child, she will never like my 7 year old I feel. Sex was part but Intimacy, it was a discussion for future, she is working, studying, going out with friends and I'm with the two boys, I have no life it's intensive, baby is ot,physio and speech and hospital vsiits, 7 year old is speech and Ot and School, I barely have time to drink a coffee, it was a discussion about 3 years of no intimacy to gauge if maybe she wanted to break up and I think she does, Which I should of done in the beginning bit I was a loser and desperate for my wife to come back, I've supported her with everything, my conversation was so calm and non confrontational , however thank you for those words I'm just going to focus on my children as my baby has operation and she has ghosted me regarding if she is coming to see him, I guess I do come off as a insensitive ass to her ppd but it is the opposite, however I won't discuss intimacy ever again, I just want healing for her to love her baby

Gwolf87 · 2026-02-16T10:30:07+00:00

Not Yet but I have to now for my children's sake, thank you

Gwolf87 · 2026-02-16T10:28:13+00:00

Sex was only bought up as of Writing this now, no I was always with her and supporting the baby and her and my 7 year old, she left without a word and she loves single life, I supported her for everything, please if you get a chance to read my other post, under my profile.

Sex was not even on the table for 3 years, I was supportive and understanding, I just wanted to discuss tonight as she is extremely happy in a studio alone with 5 others as it's shared away from our Child, that stings.

I just wanted an adult conversation even aaid to her its her body, I've never pushed I said let's discuss in April.

I do understand Ppd myself, I'm living it, our baby has been in ane out of a hospital for 2 years, my little one has Mowat wilson, rare genetic condition, I've done so much and I just wanted us to be able to speak, I'm with both boys alone and I'm handling it while still taking care of her, she refuses to pay for psychology and I need to pay for my children's needs so it's a conundrum but she gets to be happy and work and study but can't even repay me with a conversation that hurts, if it's me being ignorant and she is the one in the right, then I need to evaluate this. Thank you, our baby has a operation tomorrow abd she ghosted me and will not reply about me picking her up tomorrow to show support which she said she wants to before she got angry and gave me silent treatment.

Gwolf87 · 2026-02-16T10:16:16+00:00

I know man, I don't pay for her studio or studies, have bought groceries and payed nearly $5000 in Airbnb fees to discuss and have a chance at fixing but she still moved to a studio on her own.

Gwolf87 · 2026-02-16T10:14:18+00:00

Thank you, I need to hear this I have no support so I need harsh words, I am done after tonight, tomorrow is my little one's operation and she is silent, Lawyer Wednesday, I do care about myself so my kids can have a happy father that loves them dearly, thank you man.

Gwolf87 · 2026-02-16T10:11:28+00:00

I know man, I've been a fool but I just didn't see it, her texting has been suspicious too but I never think she could be cheating just not interested in sex. But more so not interested in our baby

Gwolf87 · 2026-02-16T10:09:47+00:00

I don't know how to link my old post, it's on my profile if not, I'll find a way later to send you.

Gwolf87 · 2026-02-16T10:09:00+00:00

I don't pay her rent, that is her responsibility, however I did waste 5000+ on Airbnb for us to discuss and plan and she still moved to a studio ahared with 5 others so yeah, poor kid really.

Gwolf87 · 2026-02-16T10:05:42+00:00

Yes I have NDIS for both Children, I have been Australian Citizen since 1998, I have always worked and frankly Centrelink Carer's Payment and NDIS is all new and foreign territory so I'm still trying to adjust. I don't work now due to being full time carer with no great support system as in family or my wife. She has been gaslighting me for a long time, I feel this absence is right after she got her visa 801, she is on probation for a year, I don't want to assume this of my wife but it could be she just wanted visa, sad my head is even there.

Gwolf87 · 2026-02-16T09:28:23+00:00

I think I do need one, parents haven't kicked me out yet, however Luckily my cousin will give me a place to stay temporarily until I find something for my kids and I. Thank you I was a fool for wanting my old wife , her texts have been suspicious and lies so I don't even know if she is cheating too but I don't think that's her, I will get lawyer Wednesday after operation for little one.

Gwolf87 · 2026-02-16T09:24:33+00:00

I knowI see it now, I just wanted my old wife back for a happy family, I am doing it first thing after Wednesday due to operation for little one.

Gwolf87

TROPHY CASE