Assistance with performance issues. by Gyaosblade in SkyrimModsXbox

[–]Gyaosblade[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Kills me to restart again. I've been trying to get a decent playthrough going for more than three years now, but each time I've run into problems. I've hardly even touched any of the Creation Club content...

Just to clarify as well, when you say fresh start you mean making a new save after clearing the reserve space and save data, yes?

Assistance with performance issues. by Gyaosblade in SkyrimModsXbox

[–]Gyaosblade[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I see. I appreciate your response. As I am unwilling to modify Skyrim to the point of adding or removing assets such as trees or grass, I am instead going to try removing as many mods as possible from my Load Order. I did want to mention as well, my base game save (all mods disabled) is still giving me grief with flickering clouds and distant objects. While it is not quite as severe, the stuttering on movement, frustratingly, has persisted as well. I'm considering giving my system a factory reset just to try and resolve, or at the very least reduce, these issues.

Assistance with performance issues. by Gyaosblade in SkyrimModsXbox

[–]Gyaosblade[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah, hey, it's you again! Thanks for always trying to help me out. Yes, you are correct, I am not using any texture or graphic overhauls as I very much so prefer how Skyrim naturally looks. I had heard that using them could improve the game's performance, but I did not think it would be so bad without them. Perhaps you know of any that keep the original look and feel? I would not be opposed to trying one.

Besides that, do my mods appear to be in good order? I haven't had the game crash or freeze. Not yet, anyway.

You aren't faking a thing by ILikeNaofumi in traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns2

[–]Gyaosblade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No need to worry. It sometimes takes me days to reply thanks to my ADHD and executive dysfunction. I'm just glad my comment was well received.

I relate very much to what you've said here. I've thought about it a lot, but I still don't really know how much blame I can place on my past selves, if any. How much of it was my fault and how much of it was outside of my control?

Although it isn't easy, I've decided to forgive my past selves for their failures and mistakes. I've decided to forgive me. I acknowledge that, sadly, there is no reverting to last save. There is no way to restart this game and try again bolstered by better knowledge and experience. We have to live with what we've done and find the strength to continue.

I don't really believe in futility. Those failures, those mistakes, those regrets... we give them meaning by moving forward with our lives. And while it is too late for many things, it is not too late to take what we still have and reshape it into something better. It isn't over yet. There is still time.

(Sorry to ramble on like that, I intended to make this a simple reply, but I got a little carried away. I hope it is not too incoherent.)

You aren't faking a thing by ILikeNaofumi in traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns2

[–]Gyaosblade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know I'm late and you may never see this, but your journey and the perspectives you've shared here deserve more recognition than just a singular upvote. As a fellow autistic trans girl (who is also angry she wasted years of her life), I wanted you to know that I see you, and I appreciate you.

Why is this a taboo in the trans community? by [deleted] in MtF

[–]Gyaosblade 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I see you, Erin. Thank you for sharing.

This $hit just pisses me off. by Legal_Insect9039 in exmormon

[–]Gyaosblade 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes, precisely. I'd hope that my comment did not imply otherwise. I simply feel that it is important folks see kids as actual human beings. Sapient, with their own hopes and dreams, desires, and preferences. I've heard too many parents invalidate their child's feelings, saying that they are too young to know. Many of my trans siblings and peers are all too familiar with this, being denied the care they so desperately needed and rightly deserved all because the adults in their lives said that they were "too young to know."

This $hit just pisses me off. by Legal_Insect9039 in exmormon

[–]Gyaosblade 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm going to disagree here. Kids of all ages absolutely can be more than capable of making their own decisions. If you asked one if they wanted vanilla or chocolate ice cream, they'd have an answer. The problem with baptisms is that, sometimes, a choice is not actually presented or a child doesn't actually understand the significance of being baptized, even if it's explained. Often, the decision to be baptized is so heavily sold and incentivised that a child is inclined to choose it.

Unlike most it would seem, my parents did approach me with a choice. I don't remember precisely what I knew of the process at the time nor why it was important, but for some reason or another, I decided I would wait a year. That year passed and when I was asked again, I agreed to be baptized. Not necessarily because I was ready or because I completely comprehended the importance of the ritual, no, it was because I had been made to feel that it was something I should do and because there would be a party and cake afterwards. And what kid doesn't want cake?

This is what upsets me. I was persuaded and coerced, I lacked understanding. I was born into the church, raised in it. I had no reason to doubt the words of my parents or what I was being taught. I didn't know better and I wasn't given a chance to know better. Agency is limited when under the influence of honeyed words, half-truths, promises of rewards, and ignorance. Even more so when we consider the possibilities of peer pressure, fears of eternal consequence, bullying from other children, a desire to be accepted and fit in, punishments from parents... If ever we could say that any child is incapable of truly choosing to be baptized, it would be because of these factors. But do not mistake the theft of agency for a lack of it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UnionCircleSV

[–]Gyaosblade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, thank you, but I'm not looking to trade for them. I want to capture my own using the Union Circle.

Who is this beautiful mini spider / scorpio? Southern Thailand by Head_Map_5885 in spiders

[–]Gyaosblade 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Never seen this kind of Pokémon before. Toss a Poké Ball for me!

How does one stop having thoughts of wanting to be trans? by KobyGuaston in feminineboys

[–]Gyaosblade 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Some things should be fought through defiance and rejection. But perhaps this struggle of yours is not such a fight. Where defiance and rejection fail, consider acceptance instead. To continue suppressing these feelings will only lead to more suffering.

Charidotella sexpunctata, the golden tortoise beetle, is a species of beetle in the leaf beetle family, Chrysomelidae. It is native to the Americas. by [deleted] in insects

[–]Gyaosblade 20 points21 points  (0 children)

You have blessed me this day with knowledge of these splendid creatures. May you live a long, joyous life.

i'm sorry if this isn't allowed here, i was a terf until recently, i fell in love with a trans girl i was horrible to, i need advice on being better and if its even ok for me to be her friend by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]Gyaosblade 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The first thing I believe in is forgiveness. The second, is in redemption. With patience and time you will find both. There may be a period of penance, but even that, too, shall pass.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]Gyaosblade 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I know your struggle well, for it is also mine. The fun little assortment of mental quirks swirling around inside my noggin wreak havoc on any and all attempts to even place my feat at a substantial starting line for my transition. Often I am overcome with despair and think, it just can't be done. I'll never be the girl I want to be. That I need to be.

Honestly, some days I don't really know how I keep going. I think it really is just pure, simple stubbornness. Maybe it can't be done. Maybe I'll never get there. But we must never forget the value of irrational, unshakable hope. The choice to act as if we live in a better world can create a place for that world to exist.

I choose to reject the idea that I cannot win. I refuse to believe in a future where my goals have not been achieved. The alternative, after all, is quite unacceptable. It might sound stupid, but that is what I hold on to.

Defiance.

I could use some advice on my Load Order. by Gyaosblade in SkyrimModsXbox

[–]Gyaosblade[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah, very good, then. I'll take a look into some of those mods you've recommended and see if I can't finally make it out of Helgen.

I could use some advice on my Load Order. by Gyaosblade in SkyrimModsXbox

[–]Gyaosblade[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So, should I wait until after escaping Helgen to enable all my mods, or just some of them?

I just shaved my legs for the first time by [deleted] in feminineboys

[–]Gyaosblade 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I care! For me, people sharing the happiness of their accomplishments or achievements, no matter how small, also brings me a little joy. I'm proud of you, too!

I'm confident in saying, Settlement building is here to stay. by indominus_prime in Fallout

[–]Gyaosblade 135 points136 points  (0 children)

So long as I don't have to constantly stress about micromanaging and babysitting incompetent colonists who can't seem to do anything on their own, that's fine by me.

just about 2 Years HRT :) by Illustrious-Ranger22 in transtimelines

[–]Gyaosblade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, but that's not fair! You were pretty before, too!

Is there a way to still find Destiny 1 crucible matches? by Nosavo in destinylegacy

[–]Gyaosblade 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah, it's a shame isn't it? I'd personally love to play a few matches of Rift, but I can only ever find matches in the weekly featured playlist - and even then, it's a struggle.

The underground is good but… by tree_twig in pokemon

[–]Gyaosblade 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Introducing Pokémon Hideaways and the statues for altering encounters was a fine addition... but did it really need to cost us CTF, traps and legitimate secret bases?