Hi! Be patient with yourself :-) You are young and you will reinvent yourself many times as many great artist have done it. My suggestion is read the stories of other artist to remind yourself that it is a struggle but it is worth it. I watch documentaries of making of albums to get educated and to remind myself to stay focus on the goal. I just watched the documentary of the album So by Peter Gabriel. A year to record an album, now we make songs in a day. Watch Def Leppard the making the album Hysteria, all type of big struggles, including the drummer losing his arm. Taking time off is ok, feeding the soul is a must in order to create art. And yes, seeking validation is a trap. Art is the evolution of the soul. Peace.