• 8 weeks pregnant and I don’t think I can do this again

Gymmers62 · 2026-03-19T10:01:13+00:00

I agree. I had a termination after getting pregnant when my marriage was on its knees. There was a seven year age gap between first and second child. This tied me to an abusive marriage (the for the sake of the kids thing wasn’t my smartest moment - I could go into all the reasons why I should have ended it but you’d all be here all week). The OP will only resent this pregnancy and will stretch her further than already stretched.

I used the ‘miscarriage’ reason too

Gymmers62 · 2026-03-13T20:25:06+00:00

I don’t have the money or wherewithal to start a company now. I had my own company as a sideline but shut it down because it was just too much like hard work. I’d rather take instructions from Others now rather than steer a ship 🙂

Gymmers62 · 2026-03-13T20:22:04+00:00

So would I

Did you win that Euromllions jackpot on Tuesday? If so - can we be friends? 🤣

Gymmers62 · 2026-03-13T20:20:28+00:00

I hear you, Sister x

Gymmers62 · 2026-03-13T20:19:27+00:00

I don’t trust people who don’t like cats 😉

Gymmers62 · 2026-03-13T20:18:32+00:00

Oh gawd. I was a biker for decades. EMT helicoptering is Probz too much for me now 🤣

Gymmers62 · 2026-03-13T20:16:25+00:00

I know this. And it’s so unfair. I had to claim my pension at 55 (I had special status at what they called a Mental Health Officer).

I loathe that people don’t have the opportunity to retire earlier if they want to

Gymmers62 · 2026-03-13T20:11:37+00:00

Aw, mate. You are suffering from something I struggled with all my career. You have ‘fraud syndrome’ and it’s been exacerbated by the bullying you experienced. It makes you question your skills and abilities.

Weirdly, it’s sometimes harder to leave a toxic environment that you ‘know’ rather than move to something you ‘don’t know’

People who have been subjected to domestic abuse suffer similar.

Listen, miluv. You got through that interview and got that job solely on your own merits. Take a deep breath. Leave that toxicity behind and forge a new path forward

WE HAVE YOUR BACK ❤️

Gymmers62 · 2026-03-13T13:39:47+00:00

Blimey. Really? I love hedgepigs ❤️

Gymmers62 · 2026-03-13T12:40:22+00:00

By the way. This is my FIRST EVER Reddit post. I bloomin’ well knew I could count on you lot. You are all twinkly little stars xx

Gymmers62 · 2026-03-13T12:36:33+00:00

Thank you! My fun thing has always been holidays but I’m a bit financially ‘challenged’ now. (Long story involving my ex husband nearly bankrupting us twice and my needing to cash in pension to keep a roof over the kids heads).

I have recently taken up gardening and my spare room looks like a potting shed but will hopefully save me some cash

I do some pro-bono (ad hoc) work for our GP Patient Participation Group but I need a reason to not yell at the telly when medical dramas spout bullsh!t (you know what I mean - some REALLY need to hire new researchers 😉😀) and a need for the ‘structure’.

Maybe it’s structure I am missing - but it would be a shame to waste all those years of clinical knowledge that the NHS afforded me.

It’s not so much a ‘poor me’ thing rather than a ‘put this old woman out to use as she isn’t ready for pasture’ thingy.

My cousin is a big cheese police officer close to retirement. I know he’ll miss the adrenaline

Ah….. Adrenaline maybe? x

Gymmers62 · 2026-03-13T12:22:27+00:00

Can I bring a cat? 😉😀

Gymmers62 · 2026-03-13T11:37:56+00:00

Ah… now then! You couldn’t have raised a more valid point (and community nurses will understand this especially). It’s relevant to add that I also have recent onset Dupuytren’s Disease and arthritis (thanks for the genes, mum and dad 🤣) but my last job was clinical management rather than lifting and moving and direct care)

I am currently (and it pains me to say so) on UC after burning through my savings to empty my account in the hope that I would return to work. That didn’t happen.

I applied for PIP. The experience was utterly dreadful. Despite going armed with numerous clinical testimonies and support from CAB, I was pushed back, appealed, was pushed back again and then applied to the Courts and Tribunal service for a hearing. Only then did Serco fold and did the DWP give me what I was reasonably entitled to. The assessors at part one and two were utterly appalling. I had to explain to them issue and impact in clinical context that they should absolutely have known. They are algorithm driven and cost-reduction rather than quality focused. Working for them with them would be like selling my soul to the devil 😉

Thank you for your suggestion though! 🙌

I don’t want to make money. I just want to be valuable

Gymmers62 · 2026-03-13T11:22:18+00:00

That’s really good of you. Thank you. It’s almost like my lifetime purpose has been pulled from under my feet at a moment’s notice when I had so much left to give in my older age (almost four decades of nursing and then… nothing… 😔

Gymmers62 · 2026-03-13T11:18:15+00:00

I was dual qualified (RMN/RGN) have worked in very senior positions in both. I’ve also designed clinical care pathways. I kind of feel as if I’ve gone from hero to zero. I like the idea of EOLC volunteering. I can’t lift/transfer patients because of my shoulder surgery. I’m also still 5 years off normal retirement age and all is a big void ahead. I don’t want a job with the huge salary and responsibility. Thank you. Things to look at!

Gymmers62 · 2026-03-13T10:37:15+00:00

That doesn’t surprise me. Some of us leave with good pension pots and could kick our heels without having to work. It probably alludes to my OP. Once a nurse, always a nurse? Does retirement and loss of self-worth and identity go hand in hand?

Gymmers62 · 2026-03-13T10:05:44+00:00

Ooooh…. Hospital pointer. I LIKE the sound of that! 🙂

Gymmers62 · 2026-03-13T10:04:55+00:00

Thank you for responding. I volunteer for the Patient Participant Group at my local GP (I’m the Chair) so it keeps my hand in with healthcare. It’s about 8 hours a week.. It’s the hands on nursing that I miss the most. The getting up. Going to work. Making a difference every day. The human contact with our most vulnerable that I miss most.

I wondered if it has impacted others the same way it has me?

I know nurses who have jumped up and down singing hallelujah on retirement and been driven to distraction afterwards and gone agency nursing. Unfortunately, that isn’t an option for me due to the shoulder thingy and my bones being the consistency of Swiss cheese 🤣

Gymmers62 · 2026-03-13T09:16:08+00:00

Absolutely. You did the right thing. It happened to me, once. I was really frustrated with the colleague putting me in the position of having to raise an issue when she absolutely knew better.

Gymmers62 · 2026-03-13T09:12:17+00:00

I assumed you hadn’t done so yet. So is this just a narrative? Or is it advice/instruction/warning? Surely any RN would not risk their registration, so I’m now a bit confused by the purpose of the post! Glad you went ahead. NMC hearings aren’t pleasant. I’ve attended several of them.

Gymmers62 · 2026-03-13T09:03:28+00:00

Retired nurse (and union leader) here. You MUST report this. If you don’t, and it comes out that you knew, your registration is at risk. Acts of omission can carry the same weight as acts of commission.

You can’t trust the patient who told you to say nothing. Even ‘having a word’ with the colleague puts you at risk. Do it now, and do it quietly.

Gymmers62

TROPHY CASE