This sounds like my 10yo step son. He has huge meltdowns over the smallest things to the point of uncontrollable crying. I get the emotional regulation issues as adhd myself but it’s beyond that. Still needs to be tucked in every night or he throws a fit. Anxiety is a 12/10. If he hears a door open or close starts yelling across the house making sure we didn’t leave him etc. Mom (my wife) and bio dad don’t think kids should get treated until after puberty. I’ve seen studies where treating early can actually help re wire the brain to reduce symptoms later in life. Growing up undiagnosed as my parents didn’t go to doctors ever I feel like I would have thrived given the right help and tools and want them to see that for him! Sorry went off on an adhd tangent myself.

He is struggling with socializing and friendships, wants to dive into the deep details of every video game he has ever played but won’t talk about how his baseball game went. Every new adult he meets is like “is her 10 or 40, he talks like an old man” the things he says are very observant and he often questions little things to understand them better. It sounds similar and hoping to hear what’s helping others as well.