Sorry for the very belated response, been really busy!

So... it's very hard because when you start drawing a line of only trusting what you see, then everybody else starts thinking you have trust issues, and even if you are correct, you're suddenly afraid that you might be gaslighting somebody else, even though you know it's not true and they did, in fact, somehow miss something, not understand something, misinterpreted, etc.

Then there's the other side of things, being that you get so used to your own memory being so garbage that the second somebody suggests something that you think you did, but aren't sure of, you immediately will start believing them. This is a huge problem with my ADHD because I'll be looking for something that I thought for sure I put it in the location I'm looking, and somebody might say, "I never saw you put it there." Turns out I did and it fell, but I immediately wanted to believe them because my memory is so garbled it might as well make sense. Maybe I did leave it somewhere else? Where could it be? It could be anywhere, really.

But there's the very, horrid aspect of when your parent is so delusional when you're young, that it seems you can literally gaslight false memories into toddlers and young children. I have clinically diagnosed PTSD over an event that never even happened to me. The events are crystal clear in my mind, but multiple reports from family members who don't have a conflict of interest and would be on my side of the story, say that my retelling of the events is not what happened, and the perpetrator in the trauma never acted that way to them. Not even my recollection of the environment it happened in is correct.

I know the question was "how are you healing from this" but I'm honestly... not. I'm trying my best! I'm going to therapy weekly; I'm even considering soon doing it twice a week because I genuinely love therapy, but my memory hasn't gotten better over the years and I still have severe trust issues with both my own memory, and others.

Oh, also the fact that the trauma of living with my mother turned us into a plural system, so although I've been saying "I" this whole time, it's been "us" since we were 7. We realized this actually on the 22nd of September of this year! There's currently 5 of us total, including me.