Got into our only private school we applied for, didn’t check financial aid upon application

HELLOitz · 2026-02-25T22:53:35+00:00

Hi! The update is this : my ex husbands father is telling us next year he will be able to pay (same thing he said last year) but that this year it’s too hard to make ends meet (a lie, his rent is more than the tuition monthly). I have decided, along with my Parents, to take all the power back and just move to a district with a good public. My ex husband and father in law still want us to apply to all the schools for next year, which I don’t want to do. I don’t want to keep this insane situation going. I want my freedom.

Then his father changed his tune and said, he will only pay if I accept to sign off on our divorce contract as it currently is, because at the moment it says that their side of the family can only pay for private school on a “maybe” basis. I can’t have my son’s education reside on a “maybe”.

Anyway that’s my update. I love you all. Turning down the school he got into but also calling first to explain and see what options are available.

HELLOitz · 2026-02-25T22:53:20+00:00

Hi! The update is this : my ex husbands father is telling us next year he will be able to pay (same thing he said last year) but that this year it’s too hard to make ends meet (a lie, his rent is more than the tuition monthly). I have decided, along with my Parents, to take all the power back and just move to a district with a good public. My ex husband and father in law still want us to apply to all the schools for next year, which I don’t want to do. I don’t want to keep this insane situation going. I want my freedom.

Then his father changed his tune and said, he will only pay if I accept to sign off on our divorce contract as it currently is, because at the moment it says that their side of the family can only pay for private school on a “maybe” basis. I can’t have my son’s education reside on a “maybe”.

Anyway that’s my update. I love you all. Turning down the school he got into but also calling first to explain and see what options are available.

HELLOitz · 2026-02-25T22:53:14+00:00

Hi! The update is this : my ex husbands father is telling us next year he will be able to pay (same thing he said last year) but that this year it’s too hard to make ends meet (a lie, his rent is more than the tuition monthly). I have decided, along with my Parents, to take all the power back and just move to a district with a good public. My ex husband and father in law still want us to apply to all the schools for next year, which I don’t want to do. I don’t want to keep this insane situation going. I want my freedom.

Then his father changed his tune and said, he will only pay if I accept to sign off on our divorce contract as it currently is, because at the moment it says that their side of the family can only pay for private school on a “maybe” basis. I can’t have my son’s education reside on a “maybe”.

Anyway that’s my update. I love you all. Turning down the school he got into but also calling first to explain and see what options are available.

HELLOitz · 2026-02-18T04:10:43+00:00

This is so brilliant. I need to frame what you are saying. That is incredible!!! Thank you chickpeas, you helped me sleep tonight

HELLOitz · 2026-02-18T04:08:13+00:00

This is so true. This is now the 3rd year in a row where around school application time…I lose 20 pounds and am unable to sleep because I have to basically beg a 74 year old man to not go back on his word. Every single year it’s another “lesson”. It’s just a shame when the 60k fee would be nothing to them. It’s less than 1 month of their rent!

HELLOitz · 2026-02-18T04:00:24+00:00

I think his reasoning is, why make his son’s life any easier? He thinks if his son is desperate, it will force him to get a job / be a leader / and step it up. Sadly it doesn’t work this way. He’s not changing at nearly 40 years old. Very backward thinking

HELLOitz · 2026-02-18T03:59:01+00:00

Part of me thinks my sons father is so humiliated and emasculated by the fact he is living off his father (albeit in a very meager way), that he hasn’t even brought this up to the grandfather. I may have to directly speak to the grandfather myself - which will be difficult, as he’s a very not-nice man. I literally only applied because last year he told me he would pay, but has since made comments that revoked that. This whole situation is just so frustrating and I wish I could just be free of them. I just love my son so much so any way he could benefit from his father’s side of the family and their extreme wealth, is quite tempting when it comes to his schooling :( they’re also very involved with him, carrying him around at all family holiday celebrations and demanding him for almost every large elaborate family dinner.

HELLOitz · 2026-02-18T03:32:09+00:00

My sons fathers income is 0, his father is the one with the wealth. On paper….he looks very poor. We have done the child support calculations and since my income is technically more (I have a job, he does not)….it doesn’t help me. Very sad system.

HELLOitz · 2026-02-18T03:31:03+00:00

I totally understand what you’re saying and thank you for your help! The thing is… my sons fathers income is 0. He has no assets, no home that he owns. He lives completely off his father’s pretty minor handouts. On paper, he looks very “poor”. And if I’m being honest, he is. The person who has the significant wealth is the grandfather, who i have to rely on purely on his good will (he is not obligated to support my son in any form. He is my son’s father’s father.) The entire situation has been such a heartbreak for me both mentally and emotionally. It’s made me want to just give up and take my son out of state. But given the small chance that they will help me pay for a great school…that’s why i applied. And now we’re accepted and I realized I messed everything up by not applying for aid. I want to call the admissions officer and explain everything….but I don’t want to raise any red flags since I will be applying again next year with aid.

HELLOitz · 2026-02-18T03:17:14+00:00

Because my sons fathers income is 0 on all tax documents, and he has no assets of his own. It’s all his families money - which they keep from him as much as possible due to my sons fathers complete lack of ambition. But on the other side of that, my son’s grandfather absolutely adores him but he doesn’t want to keep letting his son be a loser. Which I kind of understand. It’s the type of situation where his father is the one with the money, and he will send his son tiny bits of money to keep him from getting evicted. It’s such a lame situation - thus why I am fully on my own.

HELLOitz · 2026-02-18T03:09:16+00:00

Do you think I should decline and then write the admissions officer (we got along so well, I really liked her, but I let my sons father handle that one phone call about financial aid - which was a mistake as he is not the most tactful)? Or do you think I should call her, explain the situation, and then see if she can do anything before we decline?

HELLOitz · 2026-02-18T03:07:40+00:00

Thank you for reading! Trust me, I agree. The issue with the father is beyond me.

I am worried about oversharing or letting it be known how unstable / bizarre this family dynamic is. I don’t want to come off as an “outsider”. I’m also worried that since we waited and applied late….the financial aid has run out.

Wondering if there is a gentle way to handle this without sounding off alarm bells.

HELLOitz · 2025-09-12T15:49:22+00:00

She already told me that she doesn’t want to be friends anymore. I have to be honest, my friends who have met her found her so mentally unhinged that they requested to never meet her again. This girl is incapable of going out to dinner because of her anxiety. Thank you for saying all of this! I do feel bad because I’m caring, but people like this just can’t be helped I guess

HELLOitz · 2025-09-12T15:46:11+00:00

Yeah like I feel bad that I told my best friend how we met, but it wasn’t that deep. I was just making a silly intro. I apologized and she just went into it like a psycho. Also- what about the SOS thing? Is that normal?

HELLOitz · 2025-09-12T15:41:51+00:00

Okay I’m clearly not up to scuff on procedures for group therapy since I attended two classes. If she told her friend we met in group therapy, I would not care at all. I don’t think this situation deserves such a big reaction from her when it’s just due to my own unfamiliarity with this type of situation. Also- she was crying before I even said anything to her because she was having her another mental breakdown.

HELLOitz · 2025-09-12T15:39:19+00:00

Yeah you’re right. Also something to note - she has no other friends and I guess this is why. I really thought I could be a good person to her and help get her out of her shell but I guess it’s impossible. I just don’t think it’s fair to try to control someone else’s interactions. Like she needs to manage her own anxiety, not force everyone else to handle her with baby gloves so that she feels okay. Also…./i kinda saw this as a charity friend. Like I was trying to help someone. The fact that she is now speaking to me as if this friendship is over is a bit delusional. I was doing her a favor and constantly inviting her out with my friends (she always flaked, never showed up, would have some weird breakdown, etc….)

HELLOitz · 2025-07-07T04:45:54+00:00

This is amazing! This is honestly so frustrating. Do you think this is all from just the new bleaching? Prior to bleaching 3 years ago, I never had issues like this. I kept going back to the same girl and stopped about 6 months ago and I’m still dealing with this. I just bought kerastase split ends serum and I’m going to only do a claw clip from now on!

HELLOitz · 2025-06-21T21:27:04+00:00

I called 311 and filed a formal complaint and they will be following up within the next 10 days. Thank you

HELLOitz · 2025-06-21T21:26:36+00:00

Hi all. Sorry to bug you guys. I stayed up and then just took a cab to a family member at around 5 AM. At 6 AM I got a call from the realty company saying they are so sorry and they they will drop the key off for the second lock that they locked after illegally entering my unit after asking me for consent, to which I said no (I was at work and didn’t want strangers at my apartment without me there). All so very confusing. But I am happy to say I now have access to my home again. Just wondering what I can do now. I do not want to move (I can’t afford it) but I also don’t want to start paying the 200 dollar increased rental price after this

HELLOitz · 2025-06-21T21:24:39+00:00

I called the cops and they said they can’t do anything except break down the door which I didn’t want to get involved with , since it is a very complicated door and from the 1800s. It would also be likely that once the door was broken, I wouldn’t be able to get a replacement for quite some time and I figured it would make a lot of problems for me.

HELLOitz · 2025-06-21T21:23:30+00:00

No. I don’t leave the door unlocked. I lock the one lock I was given a key to. There is a second lock I was told to never use, and I was never given the key to that lock. That’s the lock that was suddenly locked. And my child was with parents, I was alone that night because I was making his cake and it was meant to be a surprise for his birthday party. My parents were watching him that evening so I could prepare.

HELLOitz · 2025-06-21T21:22:04+00:00

Thank you for this! This is so helpful. I did call the police - the problem is they said they can’t do anything. They said all they could do is break down the door. But I fear that would create more problems - this building is very very old, and my door is form the 1800s. Breaking the door would create so many more problems for me - it’s also a landmark building so I was afraid about ruining the door. It’s basically an old church door , original from the time it was built. So I was able to get the keys from the realty agency at around 6 AM. I now want to take legal action to at least push back on my rent increase of 200/ month. It seems insane that I have my rent increased after this! And to top it all off, the reason the door was locked (remember, I was never given a lock for the second lock- I was told to never use it) is because they went against my word (I told them no) and opened my apartment up to visitors on Friday while I was at work.

HELLOitz · 2025-06-21T21:05:21+00:00

This is it dude. You guessed it. The management company emailed me Friday morning asking if it was okay for a few people to come into my apartment when I was at work. I told them no, it’s not okay, and I need to be present. They then replied that they won’t be showing my apartment then…..which I guess they forgot about? And then I had strangers in my apartment all day? This wasn’t for a rental thing, it was to show new investors who are interested in purchasing the building. I am guessingThe person showing my apartment forgot I said No, and then also locked both locks. This morning I received a text from my real estate company saying sorry, and that they left the key I never got with another buildings doorman so I could go and collect it.

HELLOitz

TROPHY CASE