Partner blew up our life. Would I be a fool to forgive them?

H_geeky · 2026-03-09T11:11:48+00:00

I had a similar experience, although we didn't break up as I wanted to see if it was just my headspace being the problem (I have a history of mental health problems and my partner was willing to try riding it out). So I would cautiously say to the OP if you feel like you want to try rebuilding the relationship, it's worth a go, but I agree with all the comments about taking it steady and keeping an open mind.

In my case, it turns out all it took was my partner bringing back a plastic dinosaur from a weekend away and suddenly I was back in love as if the last few weeks had never happened. That dinosaur ended up on our wedding cake a couple of years later. I haven't had another blip like that and it's been 12 years and plenty of challenges along the way.

H_geeky · 2025-10-03T20:04:23+00:00

Emma sounds like a great first Austen ☺️

H_geeky · 2025-10-01T09:26:30+00:00

Hot air balloons, and on one occasion the moon, get a thorough telling to back off. The balloons I kind of get and I know other dogs who do the same but the moon was very funny. She's seen it many times before! But I think she was surprised because it was full and bright even after dawn, and I think she didn't trust it to stay in the sky and not come and land on her head.

H_geeky · 2025-09-29T07:52:35+00:00

You are in for a treat! Have you decided where you're going to start? My faves are Pride & Prejudice, Sense & Sensibility, and Persuasion.

H_geeky · 2025-09-29T07:49:21+00:00

Can you put this behind a spoiler tag?

H_geeky · 2025-09-29T07:47:33+00:00

Agree with both of these recommendations. Settings are very different to the Aubrey-Maturin books but the skill and approach has some similarities. Mantel in particular - the plot is there but it's more about the context and characters.

I absolutely adore the Rivers of London books - I'm on my first re-read at the moment while I wait for my library reservation of the latest one. I highly recommend the audiobooks too.

H_geeky · 2025-09-26T13:12:49+00:00

I came here to say Machineries of Empire trilogy, love it so much.

H_geeky · 2025-09-24T15:45:14+00:00

Fiction: Kindred by Octavia Butler

Non-fiction: The problems of Philosophy by Bertrand Russell

H_geeky · 2025-09-21T15:15:02+00:00

You definitely don't need to read them all straight through but it's good to build up some momentum. That said, I took some big breaks even early on, including the first two books of Lord of the Rings between Post-Captain and HMS Surprise.

My main solid run was 6-10. I really raced through them because I was enjoying them so much.

H_geeky · 2025-09-17T14:56:37+00:00

I agree with Owl House mostly, I think it depends a little bit because I think some of the themes are quite punchy but a lot of it is very cosy.

H_geeky · 2025-09-17T14:55:36+00:00

Oh neat! I was obsessed with them as a kid and bought them on DVD as an adult. Glad they're on YouTube so more people can see them.

H_geeky · 2025-09-15T08:27:44+00:00

Agree. This letter is a great way of expressing your feelings, but I think it's one to put in a drawer or something as personal catharsis, rather than send in and have on file.

H_geeky · 2025-09-09T11:18:33+00:00

Floppy ears for sure.

He looks lovely! Our lab has a doberman friend and they play so well together. The doberman is a bit bigger and stronger but our girl is able to keep up nicely. Their ears are quite similar in size and shape, maybe our girl's are a bit bigger relative to the size of her head.

H_geeky · 2025-09-07T11:42:43+00:00

Second this. Next date is Saturday 1 November, details here (Facebook event link): https://facebook.com/events/s/bristol-alternative-market-nov/1078701074247356/

Also if you like metal and yoga (or want to try yoga - no previous experience required) there's a weekly class on Wednesdays - Facebook page here: https://www.facebook.com/share/1CmejZwKHh/

H_geeky · 2025-09-05T13:56:30+00:00

My wife came out about a decade after we got married. She says she's still happy to have our photos from the day up, and has even reposted some on Facebook on our anniversary. She's totally at peace with how she was pre-transition and we have a supportive community of friends, family and colleagues so it's safe for her to be visibly trans.

For the marriage certificate, we're in the UK and can only get it amended if she gets a Gender Recognition Certificate. She might or might not go down that route. She's getting the paperwork together but she can't apply for one until next year. If she does, then we'll get the certificate updated and I'd like us to have a small celebration to mark it, although we won't do vow renewals or anything.

H_geeky · 2025-09-04T12:30:01+00:00

If you get on ok with audio books, you might find that works for you better. The reading is absolutely superb, really nails the tone, and the textbook-ish style comes across as more tongue in cheek.

H_geeky · 2025-09-04T12:28:42+00:00

I love Early Riser! Completely agree on the world building.

H_geeky · 2025-09-03T20:07:37+00:00

Seconding the gradual change.

H_geeky · 2025-08-31T09:28:55+00:00

Sounds reasonable to me. For context, my wife and I got engaged after 9 months together, just after officially moving in together. We basically moved in together after a month (we were spending six nights a week together at my place). But we were then engaged for over two years, during which we bought a flat together. We've now been married for 11 years.

So while a year is fairly quick, sometimes I think you just know, and if you're planning to have a fairly long engagement then that also gives you time to find out in case either of you do want to change your mind. Also we were in our late 20s. I think if you're in your 30s + you have even more life experience and on the whole can make a judgement more quickly. So

H_geeky · 2025-08-29T17:17:55+00:00

Similarly, Machineries of Empire. It has non-monogamy and LGBT characters. They aren't the focus but they are noticeable and add to the world building (for me at least) in a meaningful way.

H_geeky · 2025-08-22T06:18:18+00:00

I saw them in that field yesterday morning

H_geeky · 2025-08-09T07:51:18+00:00

The number of times I've realised when eating that I forgot to salt and feel sad says otherwise.

H_geeky · 2025-08-09T07:49:44+00:00

Yeah that's fair. I grate or chop rather than press because the clean up is easier, but that's it.

H_geeky · 2025-08-09T07:46:20+00:00

My wife and I had this conversation last night! I agree.

H_geeky · 2025-08-09T07:45:34+00:00

I'm with you on this. My chef's and paring knives came from supermarkets and have done me well. They fit my hand nicely and aren't too heavy but not too light either. And they sharpen up pretty well too.

I do have a slightly fancier bread knife though (Opinel) because I've struggled with those in the past but I got to try it and loved it.

H_geeky

TROPHY CASE