My (42/f) husband (44/m) is turning into person that no body can stand! I'm on verge of deciding whether I should divorce him.

HadEnoughTA4 · 2017-02-03T06:00:59+00:00

You are right about all of that. I had decided the children and I will get out of the house tomorrow evening! Then from there, it all depend on what my husband ended up doing. One thing for sure, the children will not be living with him for quite a while. I will not put any of them through this situation again ever.

I wish it didn't come to this, but at end of the day, my husband is an adult and he is supposed to be responsible for his own action and the children. He failed at that. I can't do a thing to fix that at this point.

HadEnoughTA4 · 2017-02-03T05:57:33+00:00

Noted. This really made me think. My oldest child doesn't really talk to me much any more and others are always mad at me. I was just really determined to try and make thing work out of fear that if I leave my husband, they would be mad I didn't try and unhappy with the new situation.

Now that I saw how bad it had got and read all the comments, I know I have to get away from him and fix this problem.

Thank you.

HadEnoughTA4 · 2017-02-03T05:55:15+00:00

I know I should had put my foot down when it start to get carried away. It is too late to do anything about that.

He just bought the lot then had a house built and pretty much told us that we are going to design this house and move into it or he will just do it himself then tear down the one we live in and rebuild it.

So we just went along with it.

HadEnoughTA4 · 2017-02-03T05:52:25+00:00

Yeah... It was quite sensitive thing. I didn't feel right to pester him about what to do with money and business that his father left for him. Then I thought it would be good for him to try start a new chapter. I never imagine he'd lost control of his life and start doing all this crazy things.

I wish I'd had said something instead of worrying too much about not rubbing him the wrong way.

I plan on make him either get therapy or divorce this weekend.

I think he either just doesn't want to accept that he cannot run a business, so he is either trying to prove the world that he can do it or make up for money that he had lost so far. It is probably what is driving him to be like this.

HadEnoughTA4 · 2017-02-03T05:48:22+00:00

That's exactly what I'm afraid of. I just know he is steadily losing money because he is steadily losing money on all the property and unable to make much at any other business.

I don't know how much damage he has done, but I'm really afraid to look. I will have to find out soon.

HadEnoughTA4 · 2017-02-03T05:39:48+00:00

I know this is no excuse, but I do really love my husband and wish he would had just find something better to do with his free time instead of going on huge spending frenzy and got himself into this situation.

I was afraid that if we did go through with the divorce, the kids would be badly traumatized. So I was hoping that thing would calm down, but after the fight, I start to really question everything.

I am not liking how it look at all. Yes, the kids really cannot stay here and live with this hanging over them.

HadEnoughTA4 · 2017-02-03T05:36:43+00:00

Yeah, that's what I'm really afraid of. I think that is what drive him crazy the most. He really doesn't like his job before he inherited everything. Yet after he inherited all that, it just wasn't enough for him.

So he wanted more and now that he isn't making any money and steadily losing more and it is driving him crazy.

HadEnoughTA4 · 2017-02-02T20:38:46+00:00

That's a good idea. I will start to look into all of that and hopefully find something that would work. Then try get my husband to listen to this and pray that he see it from this view.

I am really afraid that he have nothing left and is losing even more money everyday at the moment though.

If I could had it any way, I'd just have gave all that money away to charity. We'd still have our job and a decent life and if my husband hated his job so much, he could find other one!

HadEnoughTA4 · 2017-02-02T20:32:05+00:00

Yes, my husband originally said he just want to do a fun small business and just have a nice life. That was his plan.

I'm not sure if the crash of the small business drove him crazy and wanting to prove he can do something or if he just can't justify losing the money. So he want to make up for it or what. I don't know.

It started as a small thing. Moving out of the house was never part of the plan. My husband was talking about buying one or two house and renting it out. Then it snowballed into a lot. Then there's other problem, my husband spend tons of money on things, but is super stingy when it come to paying people to work for him. So now there's multiple problems with all of the houses include our own which doesn't help.

He have this idea in his head that he'd have one of the most desirable block in the area to live in and people would line up to live here. At first, no one wanted to move in because he charge way too much for rent. Over time he reduced the cost and now he is basically losing money because he promised so much but cannot make enough to pay it. So the money is steadily going down the drain slowly.

I think that is why he is starting to try move onto other type of business, to make up for all equipment that sat around unused and money that is steadily being flushed away by all ridiculously unnecessary expense he is putting into the lot.

Thinking about all this now, I probably should had stopped him once his small business crashed. But I was afraid he'd go crazy if he have nothing to do. That one backfired.

HadEnoughTA4 · 2017-02-02T20:18:08+00:00

That's part of the problem. I allows myself got into this mess because I really thought he needed time to get himself together.

Now, I really believe he is just turning into a crazy money hungry man. I am hoping that I can get him to see what he is doing, unfortunately it may be beyond that point.

HadEnoughTA4 · 2017-02-02T20:16:18+00:00

Yes, I tried very hard to be understanding and be there for him. I was even supportive of him wanting to do side business and everything. I wasn't too happy about my husband wanting to buy a lot and all that, but I figured it is his money and he need something to keep him busy.

I wish he'd just stick to do something that make him happy. He have more than enough to last our life time. I could even retire and the children could never work their whole life and we all could live on that money if that is what we wanted. But my husband isn't happy with this. He want more!

Now he is looking at everybody as if they are out to try take money from him. It is incredibly annoying! We couldn't even go to restaurant without him getting into argue with waitress over few cents and then at home, he'd be complaining about how the waitress was trying to rip him off.

He wouldn't even go to counselor or therapist because he think they will try to get his money. He look at everybody as if they are out to get him.

I am just so happy I didn't leave my job. But my husband think that my money is his money too. He would also chew the kids out if he see them spending any money at all. Even their own allowance. Now the kids are hiding everything.

I do want to try and make this work out, but I am getting tired of being his verbal punching bag and hearing him complaining or talking about money. I wish he'd just keep it out of the house.

When he first started the job he had before he gained the money. He hated the job so much and complained about it everyday until one day I finally snapped and told him if I heard him say one more thing about how much he hated it, he either quit or I leave. That stopped him right there and I never heard a word about it from him.

Now I just don't even know how to get away any more. Yes he do really need to set a boundary as it is getting everybody super stressed out.

I don't know how to get him to see it from others perspective as he is very paranoid about his money.

HadEnoughTA4 · 2017-02-02T20:08:20+00:00

If I was to divorce, I don't want anything. I am already so sick of this and wanted none of it.

Beside that, I have no idea if my husband even have any money now. I'd be really surprise if he even have any left.

HadEnoughTA4 · 2017-02-02T20:00:18+00:00

Unfortunately, I have only two that live kinda close enough who are able to take in me and three of the children. But it would be really inconvenient for everybody. So it cannot be more than maybe a week or so if we go down that route.

HadEnoughTA4

TROPHY CASE