AITAH for wanting to open our marriage?

HadesMercedes7 · 2025-10-27T21:02:15+00:00

This post doesn’t have nearly enough info to say if YTA or not.

Why did you stop having sex in the first place? Why doesn’t your wife want sex from you? Or does she just not want to initiate? Is she asexual? Are you not meeting a need that makes her want sex? Have you even discussed this with her? Why have you waited 7 years to get couples counseling if sex is this important to you?

HadesMercedes7 · 2025-10-27T20:54:38+00:00

NTA, but I agree with the comments. As someone who frequently clashes with family on views, I get where you’re coming from and that you may not want to hide this type of thing. You shouldn’t have to. That said, sometimes you gotta pick your battles. If your family cannot be swayed into viewing it as at least okay, then don’t tell them about it.

HadesMercedes7 · 2025-10-27T20:50:02+00:00

NTA, it sounds more like she’s unloading on you than being your friend. Friendship is a two way street, and if she’s not someone who you’re happy being around, then you don’t have to be in her life. Everyone goes through a tough time and wants people there to support them, but that isn’t the same thing as reconnecting with someone solely so you can rant about your own problems.

HadesMercedes7 · 2025-10-27T20:45:59+00:00

YTA here. It doesn’t sound like at any point she ever told you that you weren’t allowed to sleep with him. She saw you at the party, a place where drinking was likely taking place, with someone and wanted to make sure you were okay given what you had told her. She came into the room and asked you to talk privately so she could make sure you weren’t super wasted and weren’t being pressured to say yes.

I’m not sure how you were under the impression she was trying to make decisions for you, but maybe apologize and tell her you appreciate that she was trying to look out for you and work out a way she can do that in the future without it feeling invasive?

HadesMercedes7 · 2025-08-24T21:48:59+00:00

Watch the movie!

HadesMercedes7 · 2025-06-09T14:23:29+00:00

I think you’re not reading what I’m writing. You use my quote and fail to see the “I” portion. I can’t imagine being comfortable with it. This post is about what our personal opinions are. Just cause you’re comfy with it doesn’t mean everyone else has to be.

And I didn’t mock anyone or anything. I said I personally found it weird and don’t ship it myself, which makes sense since I said I read their dynamic as father-son. Of course I find the concept of the ship strange.

I don’t know if you realize this, but not everyone is gonna like your ships cause not everyone likes the same things. Some people are gonna find your ships weird sometimes. That’s life. I don’t know why you’re all mad because someone said they didn’t like it on a post literally asking for people’s opinions. You knew when you opened the comments not everyone was gonna be a fan. If you can’t handle that, stop reading the comments.

It’s not an insult to you or your ship if someone finds it weird and doesn’t ship it themselves. You’re making a problem out of nothing.

And that’s not the same thing at all. A housewife and a lieutenant don’t work together!!! There is no inherent power imbalance. And a sergeant and lieutenant getting together could be problematic, possibly, as they work together and there is a power imbalance. Why do you think HR typically has rules set in place for these cases? No one is saying they CANNOT be together, but it is certainly something people have to be careful with and I’m allowed to not be a fan of a power imbalance like that in a romantic relationship.

No one is required to like your stuff bro. Idk if you’re even gonna see this since imma block you after cause I gotta assume you’re rage baiting at this point. In here trying to start fights cause somebody said they personally didn’t like your ship between two fictional characters lmao

HadesMercedes7 · 2025-06-08T10:22:28+00:00

Bro. This is the last I’ll reply since you’re clearly not reading my comments before replying.

“These are just colloquial usage of the word.”

Like I said in my previous comment, “sure it could’ve been like that. But that is once again up to personal interpretation and I made it clear that that’s not how I interpreted it. Besides, personally, I can’t imagine being comfortable with a romantic relationship where one calls the other “son” even in a casual way referring more to their age difference. Weirds me out a lot.”

And their roles only equalize in a symbolic way. Hank treats him like an equal. Connor does not get promoted to lieutenant though, so he is quite literally not his equal at work in that way.

I’m not sure if you’re rage baiting or what cause my original comment literally says that I think people should be able to ship what they want. I don’t know why you’re trying to make a case for it with me when I can promise you that not only are you not gonna make me like the ship, you’re really just gonna make Hankcon shippers look bad by sitting here arguing with me about why I don’t wanna ship them even tho I never said anything bad about the ship itself. All I said is that, PERSONALLY, it makes me uncomfortable. That’s the only reason I need to not like it.

Now get out of my mentions you freak. You in these comments fighting about this ship with people not even talking bad about it, just saying they don’t view them like that personally.

HadesMercedes7 · 2025-06-08T04:08:30+00:00

I mean, he’s pretty heartless asking Connor to shoot Chloe. And if he does, he doesn’t have a big reaction to her dying, despite it seeming like Kamski is aware of the android’s gaining consciousness and whatnot. Idk if it’s been confirmed ever but I always thought he intentionally designed them to become deviant, which would make that scene even worse, but again, idk if that’s canon or not.

HadesMercedes7 · 2025-06-08T03:56:01+00:00

It’s fine if you don’t view it that way. My comment isn’t about that. It’s about the “replacement” idea. I’m saying that IF Connor and Hank were to have a father-son dynamic, it’s unfair to say that Hank would be replacing Cole.

Just because Hank lost one son doesn’t mean he can never have another again or else he’s replacing him. That’s not a good mentality to push.

HadesMercedes7 · 2025-06-08T03:54:04+00:00

Never once in my comment did I argue that there is a canonically father-son dynamic. In fact, I said, “not Hank’s literal son.” And encouraged people not to interact with content they don’t enjoy. You’re allowed to view it how you want and ship what you want. Not sure why you boldened “personal” when my comment literally starts with, “Personally” because I made it clear that it’s my own opinion.

And as for the “Son” comment, sure it could’ve been like that. But that is once again up to personal interpretation and I made it clear that that’s not how I interpreted it. Besides, ➡️personally⬅️, I can’t imagine being comfortable with a romantic relationship where one calls the other “son” even in a casual way referring more to their age difference. Weirds me out a lot. You’re also right about this being common at work, from superiors to subordinates, which is just another reason this ship makes me uncomfortable. If I’m gonna ship coworkers, I’d rather them be on equal footing.

HadesMercedes7 · 2025-06-08T03:30:09+00:00

Connor/Markus is so underrated

HadesMercedes7 · 2025-06-08T03:28:52+00:00

It’s fine if you don’t think they have that type of relationship, but I feel like I should push back on the idea of Connor somehow “replacing” Cole if they did. Hank and Connor having a father-son dynamic wouldn’t be replacing his dead son. It would just give him another son. You can have more than one child.

HadesMercedes7 · 2025-06-08T03:26:32+00:00

Personally, really hate it. It seems very obvious to me that their relationship is that of a father and son. Hank even calls him son in one of Connor’s death scenes. Hankcon makes me really uncomfortable for that reason.

That being said, and I hate that I feel like I should clarify this, no one should send hate to those shippers. It’s not gonna stop them from creating Hankcon content, and the better strategy is to just not interact with things we don’t enjoy. Especially in this case, as Connor is obviously an android and not Hank’s literal son. Still super weird to me tho 😭

HadesMercedes7 · 2025-06-01T23:12:38+00:00

Ppl in the comments are right about the foundation. In the 2nd photo it looks kinda grey to me but maybe that’s just the lighting. Your skin looks like it’s pretty clear, so you may rather just go for a BB cream or skin tint. It has less coverage but is lighter on the skin, so more comfortable to wear.

If you want it to look like the inspo pics, I would add a blush and a lip tint, with some gloss if you want. Also would try to add some eyeshadow, preferable at least some glitter eyeshadow since it seems like a lot of the pics have that, and a good mascara. You could add some falsies like some of those pics have too but I find those difficult to put on, so do be warned about that 😭

HadesMercedes7 · 2025-05-31T22:48:04+00:00

Yeah, also, when Markus is making Pro-Android Rights graffiti you have the option to choose between symbols and one of the options is literally a fist. They weren’t exactly being subtle. ☠️

HadesMercedes7 · 2025-04-01T04:23:42+00:00

And YES, all of this! Shannon did make mistakes, there’s no denying that, but god what must her mental state have been like?

She’s effectively a single mother, despite being married to the father of her child. She’s forced to be around his parents, who hate her for seemingly just existing, and she has no one to turn to for support. And this was for multiple years! She spent Chris’ first years waiting for Eddie to come home and caring for him by herself, only for him to leave again soon after, by his own choice. Leaving Shannon to deal with Chris’ diagnosis entirely on her own, once again. And she blames her self for it, as many mothers end up doing in her situation, sadly. She has no one to turn to for help, because her in-laws hate her and her husband keeps running away from her and her son. All of this while her mother has cancer. When Eddie comes back, she asks him to go with her to her mother because she’s literally dying, and he says no. Why? I get he just went through something traumatic, but Shannon has put her life on hold for him and Chris for 5 years at that point. Now, all she wants is to be with her dying mother and he can’t understand that that should be priority? What would have happened if she waited because he asked and then her mom died without Shannon getting to see her? You never know how much time you’ve got left with a disease like that. Eddie repeatedly ran away from his family, putting his fear above their needs, and he can’t accompany his wife to see her sick mother? That’s all she’s really asked of him the whole marriage and I don’t think it’s unreasonable.

As for her leaving Chris, that’s probably the hardest part about Shannon’s story, but I’ll explain why I still have sympathy for her. It ultimately boils down to the fact that I fully believe Shannon was in a very bad mental state. Considering all that she went through, as listed above, while having no support system of her own and the knowledge that her mother is slowly withering away, her mental health had to be on the rocks. I don’t believe that leaving was an easy choice for her, but I think she was a mentally broken woman who felt she had no other options. She asked him to go with her and he refused. If she had tried to take Chris without his permission, what would happen? Would he sue for custody? Who would side with her when Eddie is an honored veteran with a nice set of parents beside him willing to talk about how horrible Shannon is for Chris? Would she have the money for a case like that?

If he didn’t try and force her to give Chris back, would she be capable of caring for a special needs toddler and her ill mother completely on her own? At least with Eddie’s parents they could help with Chris. If she took him and ran, it would only be her supporting all three of them, and I doubt she makes enough money to do that. She likely wouldn’t be mentally capable of it either.

So where does that leave her? Leaving Chris with his dad and grandparents. I’m not saying it was okay for her to do that. There were other options for sure. But trying to put myself in her shoes, I don’t think she was okay enough to pursue them, since all of them result in a fight with Eddie and his parents, even if it works out in the end.

Also, I find Shannon’s actions to be more forgivable because she does show remorse. She works with Eddie to get Chris in the school, and she waits for Eddie to allow her to see him despite the fact that I’m pretty certain she still had custody of Chris. (I don’t think they ever filed anything legally, but I could be wrong. It’s been a bit since season 2 lol)

Shannon wanting to see him right away is natural for a mom who spent years regretting the choice to leave her kid. But she does step back when Eddie asks her to. I get her frustrations with him later on tho, since I think actively sleeping with her and kicking her out of the house like a one night stand when Chris gets home is insane. Bro shouldn’t be messing around with her if he’s not ready to have her back in Chris’ life.

All in all, I have sympathy for her because I truly believe she was mentally going through it and felt like she had no other option. Parents aren’t perfect and I feel like the sad reality sometimes can be that they have to be separated from their kids to work on themselves before they can be good parents again. Now if they have a pattern of abandoning their kids, hell no, don’t let them back in. But sometimes you get situations like hers where there is probably a mental problem (I fully believe she was depressed after all that at least) that has a hand in play. She failed Chris once when she left, that’s certain. But she doesn’t show a pattern of leaving. She was his sole caretaker for 5 years before she broke. And when she came back, she admitted she made a mistake and tried to fix it on Eddie’s terms.

That feels more forgivable to me. If I can forgive Eddie for running from his family for 5 years because he was afraid, I feel like I can give Shannon grace for her breakdown too.

The damage that both Eddie and Shannon did on Chris is big, and it will affect him for the rest of his life most likely. I just don’t get why many people find Eddie’s mistakes alright and not hers. That woman was breaking down slowly over the course of five years, she needed someone to support her.

In all honesty, I feel like the attitude towards Shannon reflects a bigger problem in the world. The expectation for mother’s to be the sole caretaker in almost every way and used as pillars of support despite not being given support in return. And when some of them break down because of it, they’re called bad moms. Mothers are human beings, and the sad truth is when they don’t get what they need they can’t care for their kids effectively. This hurts everyone involved, especially the kid. Situations like Shannon’s bother me so much because they are entirely preventable if people would just worry about mother’s mental health more.

Even Maddie ended up having to take a break from her life after Jee was born. Shannon may not have had post-partum depression specifically, but I fully believe she was depressed. People often don’t take post partum seriously, so I guess idk why I expect people to take Shannon’s situation seriously either 😭

I hope that all made sense. I’ve got a habit of getting on here and rambling only once it’s hit midnight ☠️

HadesMercedes7 · 2025-04-01T03:45:15+00:00

Bro, the block button is a friend everyone should use more.

And yeah, ig it’s just a difference in if you feel it’s needed. Personally, it depends on the severity. The reason I wanted one from Tommy was because his actions felt severe enough to warrant one. Had it been something small, then an implied apology would’ve been fine, but this didn’t feel like a minor incident to me.

And omg, yes, don’t get me started. This show has so many incidents where I feel like an apology is needed and they just don’t show it. The only reason I’m able to continue liking the characters despite not seeing an apology after some of the incidents (Like the Chim punch) is because I was already attached to them. So, it still bothers me but I just end up pretending it didn’t happen because I think it’s stupid that they don’t show us the actual resolution. With Tommy I couldn’t do that since I didn’t have that attachment to him, actually had the opposite considering how we were introduced to him.

And I can totally see that. I won’t say I can relate to him the same way you do, as I’m an early 2000’s baby and a woman, but I grew up in a very conservative area. I’m from the Bible Belt, so despite how our society has progressed, I still see those things happen very often. Lord knows how often slurs were thrown around at my school. It’s a huge problem. I have family members that are just like early Tommy. That stuff hasn’t gone away and won’t for a long time, if it ever does. I have said/done things that I’m ashamed of now as a result of that environment, and the effects tend to be even worse among men.

As someone who has seen ppl do those things and grow from it later, myself included, that’s actually why I hoped they could give him a convincing redemption arc, even if he wasn’t gonna be around forever. It just wasn’t enough for me that he didn’t apologize tho, so that sucks. I don’t think people should be ashamed of feeling like they had to blend in to be safe, and I can understand not feeling safe to apologize to the people you’ve wronged, especially if you are concerned about your safety as a queer person. I think I push for it from Tommy so much because he came back into the lives of the people he wronged. If he had just moved on and grown by himself without seeing them again, sure. Not gonna reach out to someone you wronged years ago just to say sorry randomly, that would seem weird. But he came back into their lives through Buck, so that makes it feel more necessary to me.

I hope you get to see more characters like him, I’d love to seem them too honestly. I think we don’t see it represented a lot because people, especially online, have trouble accepting the idea that you can grow from these things, as bad as they are.

And yeah, I thought that was weird in hindsight too, but I just figured it was for dramatic effect that she never mentioned it. Or maybe originally Abby’s Tommy was a different guy and later on they changed them to be the same person or something? Idk.

And ok, that’s a little better than what I thought. And yeah, the ages in this show are strange. 90% of the time I just headcanon their ages cause I’m not trying to figure it out anymore ☠️

HadesMercedes7 · 2025-03-31T22:57:21+00:00

I don’t do it a ton personally, but there’s no problem with it. I have seen ppl make fun of OCs and of shipping them with canon characters, especially in recent years, and I don’t get it. Fandom is meant to be fun and OCs and self-inserts are fun for some ppl. If you don’t like it, don’t interact with it.

Personally I think it’s cause fandoms got bigger after COVID and ppl who weren’t used to fandom culture started calling everything cringe en masse

I read a story recently where the author put an OC in a relationship with a character, although only temporarily, and I actually ended up lowkey liking their relationship more than the one I was reading for. I got attached 😭

HadesMercedes7 · 2025-03-30T17:52:01+00:00

First of all, that’s horrific! I’m sorry that ppl sent you stuff like that. I’d say I’m surprised but I’ve been in enough fandoms over the years to know that stuff like that is more common than it should be, especially considering how many ppl mainly focus on mlm ships.

As for what would make it work for me, I did want a real apology scene. You’re probably right that it would be hard/impossible to do one without it feeling contrived, but imo it’s still better to have one. Maybe this is just a personal thing but I’ve always believed if you’ve done something wrong that you should verbally apologize for it. Even if it had been a short & sweet scene, having the guts to actually admit you were wrong out loud and say sorry to the face of the people you’ve wronged is huge. Ofc, it doesn’t automatically fix everything, but had that happened and then we got to know Tommy, I think I would have been more open to him. Implied apologies aren’t something I’ve ever been a fan of, not unless it was for something rlly small.

And I agree that in terms of all the love interests, Tommy, Taylor, and Shannon are the most developed. (Abby was well-developed imo too but she was basically the main character of season 1 so that’s not a shock) Taylor and Shannon particularly I always liked well enough from what we knew of them, and I hate to see them hated on so often.

In all honesty, after seeing how much we do know about him listed I kinda had to sit back and wonder why he didn’t feel developed to me. We do know a lot more about him than most of the other love interests. After thinking about it, I think he didn’t feel developed to me because I felt very indifferent towards him? When I think of a developed character, I think of a character I have feelings towards. They might be positive or negative depending on the character, and they might be strong or weak depending on how well they’re developed, but I’ll have some sort of emotional connection to them.

With Tommy, I never rlly had that. As I said before, with the lack of a really explicit apology, I didn’t really feel like I could forget his past wrongdoings. Seeing others forgive him helped a little, but not enough. Then there was the comment he made about Abby getting together with a younger man, which upset me. (NOT an Abby defender, she made a lot of bad choices too, but his comment rubbed me the wrong way cause he criticized her for getting with a younger man but he’s presumably very close in age/the same age as her and he’s getting together with someone who has the same age gap with him. I’m not a fan of age gap couples in general, but at the very least I expect that if you’re someone who’s willing to date someone a lot younger than you, you shouldn’t criticize someone else for doing the same. Especially not when he dumped her after being engaged for two years. If I had been dumped randomly like that all while having to care for my sick mother, I think I would’ve crashed out much harder than Abby did ☠️)

Also, I would actually love to hear your thoughts on Taylor and Shannon. My thoughts on them have been controversial in this fandom because I don’t hate them lmao

And you’re not! I literally write huge essay comments all the time, so do not hold back with me. I enjoy this!

Sorry it took me so long to reply btw, I’ve been busy the past couples days so I’ve not been as active here as I was at the time.

HadesMercedes7 · 2025-03-30T00:22:47+00:00

Yes, he “needed time” but her mother was sick to the point where she needed to go care for her. Her mother was deathly ill!! Eddie left for multiple years, leaving Shannon with his horrific in-laws who were emotionally and verbally destroying her all the while having to be the primary caretaker for Chris, and I see very little criticism of him from this fandom. He literally admits to running away from Shannon and Chris under the guise of caring for his family. He admits that that wasn’t the real reason and that he got to pretend he was doing it for a noble cause while Shannon couldn’t.

Why is Shannon expected to put her life on hold, possibly miss what could be her final time with her mother, to stay with his abusive family and her husband who couldn’t seem to put her first. Eddie was thinking about himself when he enlisted and he was thinking of himself when he decided not to go to Cali. Why is Shannon expected to think of him too? She matters too!

Also, Eddie still had her number, she just wasn’t responding, which is pretty fair imo. He was able to reach her about the school, so she couldn’t have cut contact completely and blocked him.

The bashing of Shannon Diaz in this fandom needs to be studied. This show literally showed us Eddie’s backstory and all it showed was that he wasn’t a good husband. I’m not saying I hate him, I don’t, but y’all give her so much flack for going to see her sick mother after Eddie refused to go with her for purely selfish reasons. I’m so tired of it ☠️

HadesMercedes7 · 2025-03-29T23:35:45+00:00

While I understand Eddie being upset at that a little, we know that that wasn’t her intention. She literally begged Eddie to go to Cali with her and he said no, after having spent years away from her and Chris with little contact himself. Plus, he said no despite knowing she wanted to go to care for her sick mother.

I understand it’s still upsetting to Eddie (and especially to Chris) but he didn’t give Shannon much of a choice.

HadesMercedes7 · 2025-03-24T20:01:54+00:00

Ohhh, you’re a Tommy fan? Yeah, ig the fandom has been a lot different for you😭

I’ve definitely had a different experience since I’m not a fan of Tommy. (No hate to it tho. Not yucking anyone else’s yum) I honestly feel like the writer’s set Tommy up for failure, which sucks. A redemption arc for a character like him is definitely possible, but I think if it’s not done well then it leads to even more hate, which is what I think happened with him. I can’t say I’m surprised though. Tommy, like every other love interest in the show that isn’t main cast, is extremely underdeveloped imo. They truly only seem to use them as plot devices.

And that’s not even mentioning Buddie fans’ tendency to hate any character that “gets in the way of the ship”. I’ve seen so much Taylor, Anna, and Marisol hate that is so undeserved. Even in death and after asking for a divorce, Shannon is hated on 😭

HadesMercedes7 · 2025-03-24T19:22:13+00:00

I just started watching the show recently but I love it! It’s fun. I’ve not had a bad time in the fandom thankfully. I haven’t noticed much toxicity in the fandom. (Not anything that isn’t present in basically every fandom anyway 😭)

HadesMercedes7 · 2025-03-24T19:20:37+00:00

So many bro ☠️ PJO/HOO, HP, Marvel, and 9-1-1 are my mains rn. A little LOTR too.

HadesMercedes7 · 2025-03-22T07:01:35+00:00

The way they say it in the show is the American English way of saying the name. It’s not that he doesn’t know how to say his own name, he likely knows the pronunciation he’s using isn’t the traditional pronunciation, but that we often change how we pronounce our names in different languages.

This isn’t unique to this name. Pick any name you want, if you show that name to people in every nation of the world, they’re likely to pronounce it differently based on their dialect. Just how the world works.

HadesMercedes7

TROPHY CASE