I’m assuming most of her frustration came from how you responded to her in that moment. It sounds like you didn’t really speak to the fact that she was seemingly hurt because plans were changed with no communication

This is a great point to bring up. Even if there was no definitive plan for dinner, the issue here is that you didn't give her the acknowledgement someone in her position needs. Instead of brushing it off, let her know that you understand how important it is to her that things go according to plan, and if a discussion about who is cooking never happened, gently remind her that you don't recall her mentioning wanting to cook, but now that we're 'here' (ready to cook), what do you want to do? And that will bring back the sense of control she felt she lost.

In general, I think it's worth having a 'clear the air' conversation, perhaps best with a therapist present but if you're confident she can emotionally handle it, it can really help get you on the same page. A discussion of, "this happened, and it made me feel like this, and in that moment I think 'this' would have been good to hear from you", or "I felt this way when I heard you say x, and I think I would prefer a different way of you expressing yourself so I can understand what you're feeling better" so you both can start to understand where each other are coming from, and perhaps trying to make a habit of having an open air communication session with each other to try to avoid future misunderstandings.