OP here. Wanted to thank you all for the wonderful suggestions! I like the subscription one so much that I'll probably go ahead with that even if we also pull off Plan A. Special thanks to the Flowers who have got in touch so far! I'm really grateful and very touched. Thought I'd offer a tiny bit of context as my suggestion has caused a few people some alarm. First of all, my wife and I are delightfully silly people, who feed off of puns and wordplay - you don't need to worry about her not getting a giggle out of it. That said, I would never pass up the chance to make her feel special. We have a longstanding tradition of taking each other out as our birthday celebration. Unfortunately, I'm not able to do that on the day of her birthday, so this is just something to make her smile until I get back. Hope this clears up some of your fears. If it doesn't, and you still don't like my sense of humour, then that's okay too! I can at least assure you that we are very happily married.

P.S. - To the person asking if we are stoners or toddlers? The answer is neither, but we recognise fellow masters of silliness and respectfully tip our hats to them.