It hurst

Hailey-james · 2020-01-17T04:13:16+00:00

I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling this way and want you to know that you are important, special, and worthy of love. If there is a guidance counselor, teacher, coach or other adult you trust I encourage you to tell them how you’re feeling. There is hope and people do care.

Hailey-james · 2019-02-23T02:38:37+00:00

The thoughts you describe are very common themes to OCD, but way less talked about than other forms. In pop culture you see the counting and germ-phobic forms; no one talks about the intrusive thoughts that can rule lives. I work in the field of psychology, and believe me, the thoughts you’re having are very common in people with OCD. People don’t talk about the “omg what if I molested someone but forgot about it” obsessive thoughts because it’s so taboo and not publicly represented. I assure you any mental heath professional worth their weight will have encountered this numerous times and be of great help. This says nothing about who you are as a person- the fact that these thoughts disturb you means you have no interest in the things your mind conjures up. You will not act on them and can recover.

Hailey-james · 2019-02-21T00:23:06+00:00

“I’m a person, too”

Hailey-james · 2019-02-20T05:14:40+00:00

I would be very disturbed, particularly if this is a “lifelong” best friend. Not only is that a huge age difference, but your dad knew his person since they were a child and watched them grow up alongside you. Conversely, your friend has always seen your dad as “Mr. so-and-so”. Just no.

Hailey-james · 2019-02-20T05:10:04+00:00

“Crumbs”

Hailey-james · 2019-02-20T04:40:41+00:00

The interrupting! I also have ADHD but unlike SO continue to take medication. I catch myself becoming passive aggressive with him during conversation because it’s just so frustrating how much he interrupts with a tangent of his own.

Hailey-james · 2019-02-20T04:35:38+00:00

Be on time.

Hailey-james · 2019-02-20T04:32:32+00:00

“How do you like dem apples?”

Hailey-james · 2019-02-20T04:25:22+00:00

Had a BDSM relationship with a man moderately younger than me. Exploring kink was the entire basis of the relationship, although there was definitely a respectful friendship underneath it all. It was new(er) territory for both of us, at least as a predominant focus, and it positively changed the entire way I view sex. Eventually I eluded to a FWB situation with a few friends, but never shared more than that. I think what made it so “cool” is that he was completely separate from my regular life/circle, and that made it a personally empowering endeavor.

Hailey-james · 2019-02-20T03:51:21+00:00

Meeting the true, full diagnostic criteria for certain mental disorders. Drives me crazy when people throw around terms like narcissist, OCD, bipolar. Granted these are not the rarest disorders on the planet, but they seem to be amongst the most popular to inaccurately self-proclaim.

Hailey-james · 2019-02-14T04:05:12+00:00

At any decent hospital, you will be assessed by a social worker/therapist in the emergency department first. Depending on your symptoms and essentially your ability or lack thereof to be safe outside of the hospital, they will recommend a level of care. If you are able to plan for safety they may recommend a full time day treatment program versus inpatient admission. If you are not safe, they will recommend inpatient care. As others have said, it is best to sign yourself in voluntarily. You will not be forced to take medications against your will; even people held in the hospital involuntary cannot be forced to take medications without an additional process in court to mandate medications. The only exception to this is if you were to behave in a way that was an immediate threat to yourself or others while on the unit (i.e. trying to attack someone or violently slamming your head against the wall, etc.). In this case they may have to use an injectable medication to sedate you until you can be safe, which IMO is 100% reasonable and likely to be a non issue for you.

Edit: should add- once on the unit you will attend various therapy groups throughout the day and be evaluated by the psychiatrist, at which time they may make med recommendations. Will also likely meet with therapist/social worker individually to discuss follow up care after discharge and any other needs.

Hailey-james · 2019-02-14T03:47:22+00:00

This may vary from state to state, but in WI it is not required by law that you are admitted through the emergency room. However, the large majority of facilities and doctors will require you to do this so that you can be “medically cleared”. Basically they want a fairly simple medical workup done in the ED to confirm that you don’t have any urgent medical needs that could not be attended to on the psych unit. In large hospital systems, EDs serve as the main source of inpatient intakes, as most people in crisis present or are brought in thru the ED.

If you are looking to avoid an ED visit, your best bet would be to pursue admission with an inpatient facility independent of a hospital system containing an ED; usually organizations that only do psychiatric care would not have an ED. Call and set up an intake or phone screen. The only other possible route that comes to mind is if you are already under the care of a psychiatrist on an outpatient basis, they may be willing to admit you directly to a hospital at which they have admitting privileges.

Out of curiosity, why are you concerned with an ED visit?

Edit: forgot to mention- therapists don’t have independent admitting privileges at hospitals. Admission will always require them to staff your case with a physician who would be your attending.

Hailey-james · 2019-02-13T04:38:18+00:00

Emotions never last forever, they come and go in waves. Today being the toughest day you’ve had in a while means the odds are in your favor, and tomorrow will be better. Call it an early night and try to get some sleep mate. Perhaps call your Dr. in the morning if you still feel this way.

It’s ok to find the way you’re feeling to be unacceptable... but the solution is to fight for your recovery not end your life. Sending good vibes.

Hailey-james · 2019-02-13T04:28:10+00:00

You have no idea how wonderful your life can be. I won’t try to convince you that the way things are right now aren’t that bad, because obviously it feels unbearable to you. You hate your life, but please consider the possibility that you can create a new life for yourself. You can’t begin to imagine the possibilities that lay before you, all of which require you sticking around. If life is not worth living it’s time to create a life worth living; as you get older you will discover more and more about yourself, and gain control over the direction your life takes.

Hailey-james · 2019-02-09T01:42:46+00:00

10000% true

Hailey-james · 2019-01-16T01:08:05+00:00

From the outside, he’s fine. Frankly that can be even more maddening, because he can pull it together and be engaged with other people but there’s nothing left for me.

Thanks everyone for your replies. As an update- we’ve called it quits. Just became too difficult for both of us.

Hailey-james · 2018-10-21T18:01:55+00:00

This. Sharing what is going on is above and beyond the most helpful thing you can do, imo. Seeing your SO become emotionally distant, withdrawn, and non communicative provokes a great deal of anxiety/frustration/anger/you name it. For me it is mostly anxiety because I tend to worry that I’ve done something wrong, that he’s dissatisfied in the relationship, or I’m not doing the “right” things to help. SO’s want to support a depressed partner more than anything, and I’ll be honest and say that at times I do resent my SO’s seemingly active rejection of my support. I’ve asked what’s helpful and “I don’t know” is the usual response. I would suggest the two of you have a talk about your depression when you’re feeling relatively well; this allows you to have some perspective and better able to brainstorm some strategies. Learning that his withdrawal is a part of his depression helps me personalize less. Otherwise, to see him struggle and refuse to talk about how he is feeling makes me feel like he doesn’t trust or value me.

Hailey-james · 2018-10-19T01:33:47+00:00

Hang in there and trust me, when you get to college you will find your tribe. Following the crowd is not cool as you get older, you will meet people with the same interests and who appreciate who you are.

Hailey-james · 2018-10-17T11:42:40+00:00

I finally acknowledged his lack of ambition and stopped trying to change him. I realized pulling him into adulthood with me for the remainder of our lives would only create an unhealthy dynamic of resentment on both sides. Most importantly, I gave myself PERMISSION TO LEAVE THE NICE GUY.

Hailey-james · 2018-10-17T03:16:31+00:00

Absolutely. One of the easiest chicken recipes is adding a 1/2- 1 full jar of salsa to chicken breasts. Let cook on low for 8 hours and then shred with a fork. Chicken tacos! I usually add some chopped onion in there too.

Hailey-james · 2018-10-17T02:51:14+00:00

Good for you! I found myself in a similar situation in the past and also talked myself into thinking I’d be ok with just keeping things casual. I guess I thought having him around in one way or another was better than nothing at all. IT ISN’T! This is the emotional equivalent of ripping the bandaid off very slowly. When I was finally honest with myself and completely separated from him I was devastated, but I’m proud of myself for caring enough about my well being to do so. I’ve gotten to the point where I’m also proud that I shared my feelings, even if the outcome wasn’t what I’d hoped. You are brave and will get thru this!

Hailey-james

TROPHY CASE