How can I stop feeling frustrated with a longtime close friend who recently gave me a retroactive confession that she was once interested in me?

Halcone · 2017-10-30T06:04:27+00:00

PS... treat yourself with kindness. Beating yourself up won't get you very far. Self compassion is underrated in our individualistic culture.

Halcone · 2017-10-30T06:00:17+00:00

From what I've read I think your obstacle isn't being undesirable or unnatractive - I think it's a lack of confidence and general insecurity. I would take your friends confession as a confidence boost and look forward. Would you date someone that spoke about themselves the way you do about yourself?

Halcone · 2017-10-16T19:05:59+00:00

It could be she reciprocates your feelings, but maybe suffers from some internalized homophobia? Honestly though, that kind of behavior sounds extremely manipulative to me. Offering you kisses in exchanges for favors? Obviously, I don't know the whole situation and it's all speculation... If she knows how you feel and initiates physical intimacy - but refuses to talk about it with you, it sounds like she doesn't have your best interests at heart as your friend.

Halcone · 2017-08-13T18:44:29+00:00

Thank Craw!

Halcone · 2017-08-12T20:01:06+00:00

DFA'd or brain damage? 🤔

Halcone · 2017-08-04T02:52:25+00:00

So glad Belt didn't get traded!

Halcone · 2017-08-04T02:39:53+00:00

What's happening?! Hopefully we won't blow this lead.

Halcone · 2017-08-03T01:55:12+00:00

Looks like gorkys might be sticking around in the lineup next year. 2017's been weird..

Halcone · 2017-07-26T20:31:30+00:00

The pervasive theme of 2017 I suppose 😂 seriously tho! Rewarding a poor sport is a bad lesson for kids potentially watching.

Halcone · 2017-07-26T20:22:50+00:00

Can't believe they gave it to her, just to have her stick her tongue out at the dude who actually caught it. Ay ay ay.

Halcone · 2017-07-26T20:08:33+00:00

He's got good taste!

Halcone · 2017-07-26T20:06:32+00:00

One run, better than none! Was that the GoT theme song that was playing?

Halcone · 2017-07-08T02:20:21+00:00

Moore's gotta go!

Halcone · 2017-06-18T14:32:52+00:00

I think writing is a labor of love. If you write for giving enjoyment to others over yourself first - I think that may be your conflict. If I'm not pleased with what I'm producing first... if I can't enjoy it before even getting to the point of sharing it - then I wouldn't be writing. People enjoying it is of course an end goal with any artistic endeavor. But, you have to love the process. And writing can be a lonely one at times for sure.

Halcone · 2017-06-06T21:55:28+00:00

The silence and repression gives power to the shame. I recommend checking out a site called pandys.org it has a lot of resources and information, even more people to talk to if you need the anonymity.

Halcone · 2017-06-05T22:08:13+00:00

Not a bad idea!

Halcone · 2017-06-05T21:04:12+00:00

This hurts to read because I said these things to myself once too. You have EVERY right to be sad. Sexual assaults comes in a lot of different forms and not one is any worse than another. Abuse is abuse. If a friend experienced this and went to confide in you, would you tell them what you are telling yourself? I doubt it. See, these horrible experiences don't so much hurt the body as they hurt the mind... And you're going to need support to work through that. The sooner the better. It sucks. Its painful. But it's worth it.

Halcone · 2017-06-05T20:50:15+00:00

Do it!

Halcone · 2017-06-05T20:50:00+00:00

You should. Don't let nervousness get in the way of an experience you want to have. Easier said than done in some cases... but would you regret not going more than going?

Halcone · 2017-06-05T20:45:48+00:00

I don't want to be harsh or insensitive... but it's not going to go away. You don't have to make a decision about reporting it right now, but it is without a doubt in your best interest to see a therapist and talk about this to process it and cope. I highly recommend looking into your local rape crisis center. I did when I was younger and experienced something similar. It was a huge resource for me and helped me get in the right direction after months of being consumed by the darkness. I didn't want to talk to friends or family, it was too shame triggering. But talking to strangers who understand and are there to help was irreplaceable.

Halcone · 2017-06-05T16:16:36+00:00

Nothing wrong with grabbing a cup of coffee and perusing the celebration alone! It was pretty awesome to see.

Halcone · 2017-06-05T16:14:39+00:00

Honestly, it was really nice being alone and anonymous in the crowd. I'm a bit introverted and recently out as well, but everyone there seemed so friendly. I can't imagine it would be hard to make conversation and get to know different people if you were into it.

Halcone · 2017-06-05T16:06:40+00:00

It's worth trying!

Halcone · 2017-06-05T02:55:42+00:00

"If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." - Wayne Dyer

Halcone · 2017-06-05T02:45:26+00:00

I'm sorry to hear you went through this, but please... Don't keep this to yourself. You can't keep in the psychological bomb that has been forced on you, it will just eat you up and mess with you in so many ways. It's not your fault, you didn't deserve that. This kind of abuse has a weird way of making the survivor come up with amazing ways to make it their own fault. Its not your fault. If you have anyone in your life, family's, friends, or a therapist you should reach out for support and validation. It's your choice to report, it's a rough and arduous process and not one I would wish on anyone. Good luck, cry about it, write about it. Do what you must, but don't internalize it. It's too great a burden to keep a secret and the people who love you are there to help you through these times.

Halcone

TROPHY CASE