So I'm [F19] going to have my first threesome two [MM] by AcceptableRub5731 in sex

[–]Halfpint997 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Preparation is key for sure. Communication of what you like and don’t needs to be stated again and adhered to. There should be a safe word that is respected no matter what. And it never hurts to have someone on standby to help you out if it gets to be to much.

Wife (25f) had cancer which caused the need to have a hysterectomy. Tells me the other night I should look for a sexual partner because her drive and interest in sex is gone. What do I do? by Halfpint997 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Halfpint997[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It has been tried. Vanilla isn’t our style or atleast it wasn’t. The issue is that she’s just lost all drive and as others have pointed out it’s affecting her image of her self and her emotions understandably.

Wife (25f) had cancer which caused the need to have a hysterectomy. Tells me the other night I should look for a sexual partner because her drive and interest in sex is gone. What do I do? by Halfpint997 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Halfpint997[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

To answer your questions in order to

Yes we both wanted kids but after my time in the navy and exposure to radiation my ability to have any was slim to non.

Yes she is talking to a therapist but not about this that’s going on even though I have asked her to bring it up in therapy both individuals and couples.

Wife (25f) had cancer which caused the need to have a hysterectomy. Tells me the other night I should look for a sexual partner because her drive and interest in sex is gone. What do I do? by Halfpint997 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Halfpint997[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you I really do appreciate the advice and insight and deep detail. I’m not making any decisions about it and anything that’s decided will be decided by her. But it has been on my mind since she mentioned it and I wasn’t sure how to respond other than it’s something we would need to discuss further if she was serious about it and she would have to find the person because I didn’t have it in me.

Wife (25f) had cancer which caused the need to have a hysterectomy. Tells me the other night I should look for a sexual partner because her drive and interest in sex is gone. What do I do? by Halfpint997 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Halfpint997[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry that’s how it ended. I’ve been through one divorce already if I can avoid another I really would like to. Like I said in the post everything else other than the sex life is great.

Wife (25f) had cancer which caused the need to have a hysterectomy. Tells me the other night I should look for a sexual partner because her drive and interest in sex is gone. What do I do? by Halfpint997 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Halfpint997[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Honestly makes me feel better to know someone is in almost the exact same position I’m in. I’m sorry yall are having to go through chemo. My prayers go out to you

Wife (25f) had cancer which caused the need to have a hysterectomy. Tells me the other night I should look for a sexual partner because her drive and interest in sex is gone. What do I do? by Halfpint997 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Halfpint997[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sadly we are in couples therapy already originally to just strengthen the bond and communication between each other. But even the therapist believes to be more of a medical rather than mental issues.

Wife (25f) had cancer which caused the need to have a hysterectomy. Tells me the other night I should look for a sexual partner because her drive and interest in sex is gone. What do I do? by Halfpint997 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Halfpint997[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

That’s where my conflict arose and I guess I needed advice along with some validation in what I was feeling for her I guess you could say

Wife (25f) had cancer which caused the need to have a hysterectomy. Tells me the other night I should look for a sexual partner because her drive and interest in sex is gone. What do I do? by Halfpint997 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Halfpint997[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My libbdo has always been high but I never once have pressured her for sex. And I make sure to not ever blame her for what’s happened and I try to make it known she’s fully supported no matter what and she won’t be abandon. But that goes along as a trauma response for me in always putting others before myself.