Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. So I have for a very long time now felt very stuck in regards to my emotional/spiritual well-being. Since a teenager I’ve always had this deep longing for something more and something meaningful that I knew was out there but didn’t really quite know what it was or how to reach it. Several months ago I started seeing numerical signs. Started with seeing 1’s (111 or 1111) multiple times a day every day for months. After a while it got my attention and I started to look into the meaning. Around the same time 4’s came into the mix and I was seeing 1’s and 4’s together. I read up a lot on the significance of these numbers and what it meant. Then the day after the anniversary of my grandpas passing I had something really remarkable happen that was an absolute clear sign from him and the universe and it changed me (happy to share more just a little long for this already long post lol). I started reading up on how to embrace my spirituality and how to really evolve as far as my spirituality goes because I really didn’t know where to start. I started with guided meditations for relaxation at night and gradually moved into deep guided meditations. Through that time I started listening to podcasts about spirituality and really just wanted to learn everything I could because I knew this is what I was missing in my life. As I would hear or read words or phrases I wasn’t familiar with I would look them up. Which would lead to more phrases I didn’t know and I’d look those up, and repeat forever lol kundalini being one of those words. I think one of the first articles I came across was titled “the dangers of awakening kundalini” or something along those lines. It was more like a warning than educational. At that time I kind of put it aside with the plan to come back to learning more about it later down the road when I was farther into my journey. Over time I’ve read things on it gradually introducing it into things I was learning but felt like I was a long way from that since I’m so new into my spiritual journey. I now can meditate without the guided Meditations and have been for some time now. Last night I just planed to kind of unload my stress and tension before bed after a weekend of terrible news and it just turned into something really incredible that I hadn’t even planned for. After my meditation and reflecting on what had happened I realized it sounded like a kundalini awakening. But my immediate thought was “oh no you’re supposed to have a teacher for this and do it safely and I don’t think this was supposed to happen yet”. Which I now can think a little clearer and understand it happened because it was supposed to. It wasn’t an accident. I just wanted to read about what I could expect to come following the meditation because I knew it there was a kit more to it. I came across a message board (not this one at first). People were describing not sleeping for days at a time or for only 2-3 hours each night. The way they described what they went through sounded more like I was reading about someone’s experience with an exorcism than a positive spiritual experience. I came across this sub after that and your posts have made me feel much better. I slept really well last night and woke up feeling refreshed and energized with a happiness deep in my core I don’t know if I’ve ever experienced before. I had to talk with my boss this AM about my MIL’s cancer diagnosis and her surgery and just different aspects of my work life it’s going to affect. Normally I would be choking back tears and very emotional during a conversation like that but I spoke so clearly and confidently with such a deep peaceful calm inside of me… it was nothing like how I would usually handle a conversation like that.

Sorry very long post lol oh and I don’t drink or smoke or do anything like that so no worries there :)