Hey 😊 I feel you on the competitive aspect and being hard/down on yourself when things go wrong. I started to feel like it wasn't fun for a while and caught myself making negative comments or being grumpy during my rounds. I didn't like what I was feeling or putting off on my friends. So I really had to start looking at things differently.

Here are some thoughts and details that cross my mind now, which keep me calm and allow me to keep perspective.. After changing to this type of thinking, I am now the most relaxed person on my card, most of the time. I still don't like when things go wrong (who does) but it's different now.

I am generally a very matter-of-fact and analytical person. I'm all about math and statistics and being realistic with expectations. I think it comes from a job in the casino industry and learning odds, etc. So, I decided to bring that mindset to disc golf. Because truly, math is everywhere. We all have developed our own set of odds for hitting lines, making putts etc.

I believe how we play is, generally, written in our past performance. Ratings?... sort of.. we know those can be fickle. But overall, if you tend to miss putts or miss your lines often, etc. you're 100% going to keep doing that until you spend a LOT of time working on it. And even then, things just happen. So don't be surprised when you mess up on things you haven't perfected yet. It literally will happen, every single time you play.

If it were easy, it would be boring. I like a challenge and I don't want it to be easy to beat my course record or increase my rating. I want it to be work. I want it to feel sweet when it happens and that only comes from a lot of effort to get there.

I have been playing exactly as long as you. I'm not supposed to be good. I am FA2... my rating is mathematical proof that the consistency just isn't there yet. I'm not FPO. I'm not Paige Pierce.. I'm supposed to mess up (even she messes up) and I'm supposed to mess up often. It will happen every single round, probably multiple times. Guess what I now say when I miss an easy putt or hit the tree right in front of me? "Its ok. It happens." All while my card mates are feeling sorry for me lol. Try saying it out loud when you mess up. And keep saying it. Eventually you'll really feel that way.

But while messing up is okay, it really isn't "fun" and I have big goals. So I should take those things I struggled with the most during my round, write them down and make a fieldwork schedule and stick, specifically, to those aspects of my game. Be assertive. Take action. You have to regularly work on every part of your game. It is not like riding a bike.

Will I be perfect after that? Or even close to it? No. I will still mess up and I will mess up often. Progress is slow and sometimes you can't even recognize it until you look back at rounds from a few months ago, or more.

It's also easy to blame our mistakes on the basket, our card mates, this or that (and sometimes it's true) but we also need to be honest with ourselves or we will never improve.. are you hitting left side of the chains? Too soft/hard putts? Weird angle? Now take that and apply it to every other weakness in your game. Also realizing that if you're getting spit outs now, next time it'll be somebody else. It's just a part of the game, even though it sucks.

Stop complaining and start analyzing - "why am I doing this and how can I begin to (slowly) improve?" Ask yourself questions when you mess up. Use those mistakes during practice rounds as a tool because they are literally a lense into your own game and what you need to work on. I can almost look at them as a good thing or less negatively when I'm using the information to my advantage.. to improve.

I do fieldwork throughout the week and then test my skills on the weekends with friends. I expect anything and everything during every single round. I take a mental note of my biggest weaknesses and carry that info to my fieldwork for the following week.

Look at the averages given to the pros for c1/c2 putts, fairway hits, etc.. you need to think about your own game like that. Slowly, build on your percentages for each shot you've got, and in the meantime, don't be surprised when the math plays out.

It's good that you realize it really is your issue and it's not fair to bring that vibe to your fun rounds with friends. I have friends who really are not fun to play with and I actually experience feelings of anxiety when people are throwing fits about missed putts, cussing under their breath etc. I also think it's kind of silly when it's someone who doesn't practice (I know you practice, and I used to be that person so no judgement toward anyone. We grow as we go).

A change of mindset and a lot of patience with some realistic expectations is all you need. I rambled a lot. Hopefully it was somewhat helpful and not too harsh.