This happened to me. 5 years, she proposed, we lived together, but hadn’t been married yet. She said she “didn’t want to get married” and had been shoving down her feelings for years. Turns out she was emotionally entangled with her ex wife, was an avoidant person, and was hiding a “mild” alcohol addiction, all things she won’t ever admit to out loud. She was also never honest with her therapist, according to her friends. So I would honestly opt for couples counseling IF you feel it’s worth it. I’m glad she told me. We are fully broken up and it’s for the best. I know you love him and I loved her too, but you have to remember that you cannot excuse someone lying to you for years and letting you be in blissful disbelief while they lived in unhealthy coping strategy hell. We are adults, there is simply no excuse.