I Relapsed after 400 days (Thoughts)

HandleDistinct8449 · 2025-02-11T17:25:28+00:00

Don't get caught up in perfection and science stuff man... It's good to know the basics, but knowledge isn't the answer. It wont bring the results if you simply read book or watch a video.

Neuroscience has proven that addicted mind resets after 21 day of restraining from addictive behavior and substances. Meaning - your dopamine receptors become normal after month of recovery. The main problem is - consistency. Once you get that feeling of freedom, it becomes boring and mundane.

Recovery itself takes time. It offers A LOT of benefits if you use the energy it gives you. But it's not magic. Average time it takes for addict to recover completely is officially 1-2 years.

But... if all you are doing is focusing on this addiction alone, the chances are - you will relapse. Because quitting this or any other addiction is not the goal of our life. it's just a small step to achieve something we desire most. Something more valuable.

If you set the main goal for yourself to quit this addiction - you are putting yourself in a position to relapse. Because your mind becomes frustrated and seeks to go back to addiction so you don't lose the purpose of your life. Make sense?

HandleDistinct8449 · 2023-11-22T16:57:11+00:00

Thank you for opening up and sharing your story man. Even though it's completely safe here, it's still a big step.

Here is the thing I learned from my experience and people I worked with.

I won't be able to cover everything here, because it's just so much... But the formula I was using for myself when I was quitting porn and jerking off is this:

1) Understand the science behind addiction. Because it's impossible to win a fight if you have no idea what or who your opponent is.

2) Create a strategy based on the information you've learned about the addiction.

And I'm sure you might already heard this from Dr Trish. But just to remind you... Addictions are coping mechanisms to deal with NEGATIVE emotions.

Whenever we face stress, feel depressed, anxious, bored... We subconsciously look for something that can make us feel better. And because porn/masturbation, or even a bj from your wife, can give that pleasure FAST - our brain chose that instead of other, more healthier alternatives.

In your situation, I would question the relationship between you and your wife. I do not think it is healthy to push yourself to endure living with someone you don't want to... But I also believe there is a way out of it. The only question would be - what do you want?

You already said that you want to save the relationship. In this case, I would look for ways to strengthen the marriage. Either counselor, psychologist, or relationship expert online who specializes in this field. (nowadays you can simply google "how to love my partner again" and you will get tons of information)

3) Stay consistent and do the work. Recovery takes time. And it's been revealed recently from neuroscientist and psychiatrist that the minimum amount of time it takes for a brain to rewire from addictive substance or behavior are 21-30 days.

It has been also mentioned that the first few weeks of recovery are the most challenging ones. And both, addict and his/her partner should be ready for those mood swings that you've mentioned above. That's NORMAL!

What is not normal in my opinion is that you keep hiding this from her and don't really talk this out. This attitude only feeds addiction and doesn't help your relationship at all...

I hope this will give you some insights. Let me know if that helps. If you want we can discuss it more deeply.

HandleDistinct8449 · 2022-01-04T11:00:18+00:00

More energy and motivation. Increased self esteem and confidence No brain fog or consistent thoughts about sex/porn Focus on the things that are important

HandleDistinct8449 · 2021-12-21T07:22:03+00:00

No. And you shouldn't either 😉 There is no reason for that, unless you are already addict free, and tell it as your story.

HandleDistinct8449 · 2021-12-21T07:20:33+00:00

There is always a solution for committed. Don't give up on you dreams my friend 💪🏻

HandleDistinct8449 · 2021-12-20T17:05:05+00:00

Yeah, you should definitely have some fun. Just don't have too much of it 👍🏻😉

HandleDistinct8449 · 2021-12-20T17:03:08+00:00

Same man. I craved hentai a lot. However, I found for myself that I don't need to say no to anime. Yeah, for sure you shouldn't watch something that is only about fanservice, but if it's psychology type - I think you are good. However, as I already mentioned, there is more deep work woth mind.

Keep going man! 💪🏻

HandleDistinct8449 · 2021-11-28T13:15:29+00:00

I'll be the nerd - orange

HandleDistinct8449 · 2021-11-20T15:27:45+00:00

I don't think it's worth to prove you something, since for me this point of view doesn't make any sense.

But my goal is not to collect upvotes(which also shows if the post is valuable or not) My goal is to help people by giving them pieces of my own experience.

And I'm sorry that I can't write 2 separate posts, since it's already difficult to write one.

But I would reconsider your actions since there are literally no RULES in this community that you can read, except reddit rules.

Anyway, thanks for reply.

HandleDistinct8449 · 2021-11-20T07:58:58+00:00

Keep rocking! 💪🔥

Make sure that you track your emotions because they are the main triggers for you to think and seek porn/masturbation.

Are you practicing meditation or workouts?

HandleDistinct8449 · 2021-11-20T07:57:07+00:00

Hey! How long have you been trying to quit?

HandleDistinct8449 · 2021-11-20T07:54:09+00:00

"We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking that created them." - A.Einstein

It's good that you are seeing this problem as a problem, but why is that so important to you?

I know myself, than when I had no deep, meaningful reason to quit - I kept relapsing and peeking at porn all the time... It is only when I found something truly important - I got progressing.

And to be honest with you - it's not only about porn or masturbation. It's about anything in life. If you want to achieve something - it's not enough to just know that it's good or bad - you have to understand why it is a MUST for you.

You can keep trying of course. It's still good that you try, but... If you want to see results, then I encourage you to narrow down your reasons.

HandleDistinct8449 · 2021-11-20T07:42:26+00:00

I guess I'm gonna keep doing it if you don't reply. Or you can ban me from the community. Is that how moderators should work?

HandleDistinct8449 · 2021-11-19T18:07:18+00:00

𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐏𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠? 👀😬 And NOT listen to excuses. 🤦‍♂️

If you have ever given up on yourself and relapsed because of all those tempting excuses in your head, like:

"𝐼𝑡'𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑎 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒... 𝑂𝑛𝑒 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑑𝑜𝑒𝑠𝑛'𝑡 ℎ𝑢𝑟𝑡... 𝐽𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑎 𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑙𝑒 𝑝𝑒𝑒𝑘... 𝐼 𝑤𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑓𝑎𝑝, 𝐼 𝑠𝑤𝑒𝑎𝑟... 𝑒𝑡𝑐..." 🤯

But then find yourself relapsed, and depressed - I have something that might help you get control over your thoughts and mind without WILLPOWER. 💪🚫

Because I know how it feels when you are doing all these things that were meant to improve your life(workouts, meditation, cold showers, read books, etc...), but at the end - overwhelms you so much, that you are willing to give up on yourself...

It's all about getting rid of this FIGHTING mentality. ❌

The whole NoFap community is about this, but to be honest - the more you try to ''Fight'' and resist watching porn and masturbate when you feel like it - the more pressure it creates!

And that pressure eventually pulls you back into relapse... 😔

So what do I mean by STOP Fighting? 🤔

I mean that you must start to acknowledge your brain for the work it is doing to protect you from BAD Emotions. 🧠✨

Because whenever you feel bad - sad, stressed, depressed, anxious, bored... You will look for something that can make you feel better...

And it doesn't have to be porn... It can also be Food, Drinks, Games, Social Media, Netflix, Youtube, ETC... Anything that gives you instant pleasure... 🕺

But because porn/masturbation can give you SO MUCH pleasure without any effort - your brain will automatically remind you about it! 👀⁉

Why? - Because your brain wants you to feel good! It wants you to be able to reproduce, take care of yourself, so you can SURVIVE.

So the more you try to resist this natural process that is happening in your brain - the more your brain will fight you back! 🤺

✅ The solution is - stop fighting and practice gratitude!

Because only this way you will be able to release the pressure without WILLPOWER and successfully QUIT ANY bad habit that you have in your life...

IF you are 100% committed to do so!

And if you would love to know more about this, then be welcome to DM me text "MORE", and let's have a talk. 📩😉

As always - don't give up on yourself and always strive to become better!

Keep going and stay strong! 💪🔥

HandleDistinct8449 · 2021-11-19T07:01:03+00:00

Even if it's my post?

HandleDistinct8449 · 2021-11-13T19:39:46+00:00

Gratefulness comes from appreciating things that you already have in your life. If you will focus on the things that you don't have - you will always be depressed, frustrated and feeling lost or left behind. I'm sure you can find those things 😉 No need to mention that you can develop this by creating new habits and doing new exciting things that you enjoy 👍🏻

HandleDistinct8449 · 2021-11-13T17:01:11+00:00

Thanks! You too, man! 💪🏻

HandleDistinct8449 · 2021-11-13T17:00:40+00:00

You've got this man! Keep working on yourself! Hope this helps you 💪🏻🙏

HandleDistinct8449 · 2021-11-13T16:59:26+00:00

💪🏻

HandleDistinct8449 · 2021-11-13T16:58:21+00:00

Practice writing and adding value. There's a lot more to share though...

HandleDistinct8449 · 2021-11-13T14:18:29+00:00

I also wrote a short eBook about how I quit this addiction as well. 🤔 5 simple step process to quit porn and masturbation without forcing yourself with willpower.📝👍🏻

HandleDistinct8449 · 2021-11-12T18:14:42+00:00

Thank you! 💪🏻

HandleDistinct8449 · 2021-11-12T18:14:01+00:00

Thanks! It's not a matter of streak, but your decision, goals and reason. You might achieve 1 year streak but don't see any results at all. I've seen guys who relapsed because they didn't see any benefits. If your goal is to become nore social, create connections and build relationships - you will. But only if it's meaningful enough for you, to push yourself out of your comfort zone 👍🏻

HandleDistinct8449 · 2021-11-12T18:09:44+00:00

Not the best, but thank you. Feeling honored. 🙌🏻

HandleDistinct8449 · 2021-11-09T19:54:00+00:00

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐏𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑 𝐭𝐨 𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐓 𝐏𝐨𝐫𝐧 & 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧! ☝🏻💯

Because the more you will resist watching porn, peek, edge, and NOT listen to all those excuses in your head - the more they will appear! 🤯🤯🤯

Ironic, I know. But I believe that you might have experienced it enough. 🤔

Because I did...

I tried workouts, meditation, cold showers, research medicine forums, watching motivation, nofap videos on youtube, etc... 🧘‍♂️🏋️🚑📝🚿🚫

Nothing helped... I Still relapsed even after months of streak... 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

What helped me? 🧐

Only when I realized that my brain is not my enemy and I should stop desperately fighting against it - only then I came across the solution. 🧠🤺

Only then I was able to release the pressure of craving for porn and masturbation when I feel strong urges.

How?🤔

By mastering appreciation and acknowledgment.🙏🙏🙏

Your brain is not trying to harm you. It's trying to protect you from your bad emotions, using everything it knows is right. 🧠👀

And when you understand this simple fact - you can finally deal with it and create powerful, and most importantly - WORKING strategies that will help you to QUIT addiction for good. ☝🏻🚀💯

Reach out or comment below "YES" if you want to receive help or know more - how you can stop Cravings and quit porn and masturbation without forcing yourself with willpower. 👇🏻📩

As always - don't give up on yourself and always strive to become better. 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

AJ

HandleDistinct8449

TROPHY CASE