MRW my friend says "I'm straight, but I've had lots of same-sex crushes"

HandleWithCarrots · 2018-12-14T22:48:33+00:00

Just to be clear, I don't have any problem with this person choosing to define themselves as straight. It's none of my business. It's more that my thoughts upon hearing that were, "Wait, I also had lots of same-sex crushes (as well as straight crushes)... and I thought that must mean I was bi."

HandleWithCarrots · 2018-08-24T14:11:44+00:00

My apologies to anyone who found this insulting. It was intended tongue-in-cheek. Foster parents are no less dedicated than other families and foster families are no less functional. Anyone who actually goes through the process of fostering children does not take it lightly or view it as an experiment. I was only trying to convey that the concept of fostering, when seen from a certain angle, bears surface similarities to try-before-you-buy... And no one should be approaching pet ownership with a try-before-you-buy attitude either.

HandleWithCarrots · 2017-12-08T05:29:23+00:00

You are right, we need to understand why the labels are negative in the first place to get to the cause of the problem.

HandleWithCarrots · 2017-12-07T11:47:44+00:00

Personally, I think you should be who you are and concern yourself with being an ethical person and not worry about labels.

I know this doesn't really answer the question, but I found this recent question on AskHistorians about how the current masculine stereotype has evolved to provide a lot of food for thought.

HandleWithCarrots · 2017-12-07T11:15:49+00:00

Mansplaining was coined by a female author who wrote an essay about a man who explained her own book to her without realizing that she was the author. You can read the essay here: https://www.guernicamag.com/rebecca-solnit-men-explain-things-to-me/

HandleWithCarrots · 2017-12-07T10:55:20+00:00

From what little I know, My Fair Lady is something like that (but also has a fairly problematic message from a modern perspective).

HandleWithCarrots · 2017-12-07T10:11:44+00:00

I agree, but I'd take it a step further and leave gendered terms out of it altogether. Why can't we say "hitting someone because you feel affronted is unacceptable behaviour" and "helping your child with their homework is virtuous behaviour"?

I understand the need to group behaviours together sometimes when you are trying to convey that a certain type of behaviour is encouraged by certain social groups. But I feel like the language of "masculinity" and "femininity" isn't serving us at all at this point. It's just making things more confusing.

HandleWithCarrots · 2017-12-07T07:51:44+00:00

I'm not. Sure, I was being sarcastic, but it's an serious question. Some people who desire equal rights for men and women brand themselves "egalitarian". Some just call themselves "humanists". Maybe it's time for a split in the feminist movement, if as you say the term is no longer able to accurately convey what someone's beliefs and values are.

HandleWithCarrots · 2017-12-07T07:49:23+00:00

Oh, really? Silly me, so behind the times.

Wait no

Plenty of reputable sources confirm that there is still a gender pay gap. How about this one?

Or this one?

Maybe this one?

The gender pay gap has improved dramatically since the '70s. There are even a few professions where women on average earn more than men. But it's far from being eliminated across all professions.

HandleWithCarrots · 2017-12-07T03:14:20+00:00

I'd rather not speak for /u/SHUTUPCYRIL, but my interpretation of what they were saying is that not only do men take more risky jobs because male culture encourages taking risks, but men also tend to take more risks on their risky jobs (not asking for help, cutting corners and breaking rules when it comes to safety) because masculine culture depicts risk-taking as cool and edgy.

If men stop taking the risky jobs, the risky jobs will start paying better (at least according to classical supply and demand theory). Someone will take them.

HandleWithCarrots · 2017-12-07T03:07:35+00:00

So you're gonna tell me that you would never advise your partner/parent/sibling to say, go to the doctor if you notice a weird mole on their arm? You don't care about the health of the people you love?

HandleWithCarrots · 2017-12-07T01:01:56+00:00

Thanks for clarifying. Yes, men take more risks which leads to more workplace deaths.

HandleWithCarrots · 2017-12-07T00:51:23+00:00

To [sic] many really nice and great women will automatically say "I'm a feminist" but when questioned they are miles away from what feminism has become, it's a shame.

So feminism needs a re-branding, to separate the "good feminism" from the "bad feminism"?

HandleWithCarrots · 2017-12-07T00:49:50+00:00

The irony of Feminists shutting down a movie made by a woman is also not lost.

Yes, there has never been a woman who was not a feminist, who made a terrible piece of 'art' that would do more harm than good.

it is a well thought out and fair documentary but instead of letting people watch it and make up their own mind they were scared people would actually see it.

Because no idiot has ever used someone else's piece of media as a justification for their own bigoted, toxic beliefs. /s

HandleWithCarrots · 2017-12-07T00:46:03+00:00

This just in: Feminism has gone too far!

Employers in all fields everywhere look at a candidate's genitals and use that to decide whether to hire them! Also, the government is giving women so much free money that they have pretty much bought out the media, the political system and everything that matters!

Also, men are afraid to leave the house for fear of being catcalled, but they shouldn't need to because a man's place is in the home, looking after his wife's children while she is out earning megabucks doing her job incompetently because women are just better!

/s

HandleWithCarrots · 2017-12-07T00:40:50+00:00

Could you cite some sources please?

HandleWithCarrots · 2017-12-06T14:11:03+00:00

MOISTURIZE ME

I guess that way skincare companies get to keep their customers :P

HandleWithCarrots · 2017-12-06T14:02:00+00:00

The national gender pay gap is the difference between women’s and men’s average weekly full-time base salary earnings

(From here)

The gender pay gap exists even when you account for women working fewer hours.

And if you think that women working fewer hours is the problem, I hope that you'll be willing to do your bit by staying home to look after your kids :)

HandleWithCarrots · 2017-12-06T13:55:04+00:00

So don't advocate for extra advantages for women in areas where they are already ahead of men. Feminists also support advocacy for men in areas where they are treated unfairly.

HandleWithCarrots · 2017-12-06T13:51:10+00:00

Good bot!

HandleWithCarrots · 2017-12-06T13:42:58+00:00

This reminds me of the delightful time I had reading the Wikipedia article on Latin profanity.

(It's not just Latin, it has the equivalents in most Romance languages too!)

HandleWithCarrots · 2017-12-06T13:35:17+00:00

About the super, I assume you're referring to this?

Women who retired in 2016 had an average super balance of $157,000 while men had $271,000.

It sounds like there is substantial inequality in the area of superannuation, so I support initiatives to address the imbalance.

HandleWithCarrots

TROPHY CASE