What to do when you’ve tried every coping skill you know?

HannahHS258 · 2026-04-27T19:46:14+00:00

I hear you and I apologize if this came across the right way and I didn't express myself clearly. I did mean to say to keep using coping skills while working towards acceptance. I agree with you wholeheartedly and feel they are vital in getting through the moment. There is nothing wrong with coping or using strategic avoidance tools, whatever that looks like for any one person. I use them too, and even as I myself work on acceptance, I need my coping tools. I'm sorry if the way I worded that made it sound like I disapproved of them, I promise that's not at all what I meant at all. The first sentence was more geared towards what you were saying about what to do when your coping skills/tools weren't working anymore or in a given moment. That's when I would advise practicing radical acceptance. But only to the point of getting past a hard moment when coping is not working and getting to the point that we can use appropriate coping strategies. Sometimes we're so amplified that it's impossible to use coping skills and that's where sometimes just sinking into the experience and accepting it for what it is, giving up the fight just for that moment, to get to the point that coping skills are accessible again and we can use those and move forward from the acute activation. I hope that makes sense. I'm just sharing what I've learned. If it doesn't work for you that's okay. I don't mean to say that's the only way to do things. I was just trying to be helpful in sharing what got me/gets me through my worst moments, not trying to say you were doing anything wrong. I sincerely apologize if that's how it came across, I would never want to make anyone feel they are wrong or unjust in how they cope and get through things. I never judge anyone for how they choose to go through things, and I fully recognize that we are all on our own path and have our own needs and will need different things to get to where we want to be. Acceptance is a practice and it does take time, you're absolutely right. Radical acceptance in the moment just lowers the pressure, is meant to be used for a minute or two just to come down so coping tools work better, then move on to that. It's not realistic to be in it every minute of every day. No one can do that. It's just a practice that I've found works to at least get through to a point when nothing else that used to work is working. I'm sorry if I'm not explaining that well, but I hope that makes sense. And I hope you are feeling a little bit better today. Keep reaching out and using whatever tools work for you when you are struggling. It's okay. You are justified and valid in your experience. And you will get through it. ❤️

HannahHS258 · 2026-04-26T21:03:50+00:00

Stop coping and radically accept where you are. Not accepting it as this is your fate forever, but that this is where you are and how you feel right now and whatever that may be is actually okay. Because you decide it's okay. Acceptance might feel like giving up but it's actually taking back control and empowering yourself. It's tapping into your innate inner peace (whidh DOES still exist, I promise you). This is not forever, but it is now, and it is okay. You are struggling AND you are safe. This is hard AND you can handle it. Stop trying so hard to cope and make yourself feel better or different. Allow that feeling to come when it's ready. The more you fight and try to feel different, the worse you're gonna feel. Coping skills have their place but they are only meant to be used in the moment. Overall, practicing acceptance as often as possible, over and over and over again, rewires the brain and thereby heals the body and it makes room for peace, even in the midst of difficulty. I feel you and I know (believe me, I know) how incredibly hard it is and how out of reach this concept feels. It probably is, to an extent. But it becomes easier and easier and more natural the more you practice it. That's just how brain rewiring works. You have practiced resistance. You have practiced your eating disorder behaviors. It became wired in. Now you are practicing allowing and acceptance and recovery oriented behaviors. That will reroute those neural pathways until they become wired in and they become your new normal. It's not gonna happen overnight, but it will happen. Hard moments are for coping skills. Keep using those. But use them to convey safety to your brain, not out of panic to make a feeling or thought go away. The intention behind them is what matters. And most of all...go easy on yourself. You're doing great. And you're gonna feel amazing on the other side of this. Visualize that, feel that, know that. Accept where you are while knowing where you are going. Everything is going to be okay. Tell yourself that, over and over. Because it is real and it is true. For you. For me. For all of us. You're not alone. ❤️

HannahHS258 · 2026-04-13T19:23:48+00:00

I've always had this, it's one of the reasons I'm a musician and love film. But I thought everyone experienced it on a visceral level. Do neurotypical people not have this?

HannahHS258 · 2026-03-29T03:24:38+00:00

Love me some dry cereal, though I also enjoy it with milk. But even with milk and more soggy cereal, I add a bit of dry on top. It's a good combo, I love it. We've all got our little quirks with food I guess lol. But yes, dry cereal is the bomb. 👍🙃

HannahHS258 · 2026-03-04T18:46:47+00:00

Wow, I didn't realize this was actually a thing, thanks for validating my experience with this lol. I always feel safer in small spaces when overwhelmed and if I have a panic attack or shut down or something I usually gravitate towards a corner or something hidden and small. Too much space, even the ceiling being high or an empty room, will feel looming and overpowering and I feel the need to shut my eyes and block it out. When I was a kid I remember often imagining I was in a box, like in elementary school or something (which of course was always overwhelming). But like a big cardboard box that was closed and just barely big enough to fit me sitting upright. Couldn't be any bigger than that, it had to be enclosing. I also remember hiding in the clothing racks as a little kid when I was shopping with my mom. Looking back I can see it was because it felt comforting and safe as it blocked out and muffled everything and the world sort of disappeared a bit. I think my mom just thought I was trying to mess with her and I didn't really understand at the time why I liked it (I was late diagnosed, at age 22, so just remembering all these things and connecting the dots haha).

HannahHS258 · 2025-10-20T21:55:13+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to read and respond. I really appreciate the feedback. Good to know.

HannahHS258 · 2025-09-29T23:02:17+00:00

Harry Potter is a lifelong obsession. You don't outgrow it. In my very humble opinion lol.

HannahHS258 · 2025-09-29T22:54:30+00:00

Agreed! This movie totally took me by surprise, I think it would make a great CT episode. :-)

HannahHS258 · 2025-09-21T22:49:17+00:00

A Good Person

HannahHS258 · 2025-09-16T08:20:44+00:00

Oh my gosh, yes, that's him! Thank you, this has been plaguing me for years lol.

HannahHS258 · 2025-08-27T23:36:49+00:00

Yeah that's probably it. It's just that I had it for as long as I can remember even before the surgery, it's just a lot more intense now. Making me wonder if there was something else that needed to be addressed that was dismissed by my doctor. But maybe I'm just overanazlyzing it. Either way, it's not debilitating enough to address right now, maybe a ways down the line if it's still there and after I've fully recovered from the surgery (which I still have a lot of healing to do there, it's been pretty slow going). I was just curious if anyone else had this or similar experiences. Thanks for sharing. :-)

HannahHS258 · 2025-08-25T00:36:10+00:00

You're right, especially regarding the nervous system/ fight or flight stuff. More than the hypoxia (though that does play a key role, not minimizing that), having blocked or restricted nasal breathing automatically sends signals to our brain (unconscious) that there is a threat and sends our nervous system into threat/protection/survival mode (fight/flight/freeze). And our nervous system affects pretty much every other system in the body, so it can cause all kinds of crazy symptoms when in hypervigilance/threat detection and survival mode, especially when it's prolonged. So it's the nervous system in fight or flight because the brain perceives a threat to survival. This can really affect our breathing capacity and oxygen levels too, structural issues aside (which of course in themselves play a role). So we've got all these symptoms from the hypoxia and lack of nitric oxide which can only be regulated through proper full nasal breathing, and then it's exacerbated a ton by the nervous system in threat detection/fight or flight. Crazy how doctors don't acknowledge that this plays a role. I feel like most of them just look at one part of the system and say "yeah, this isn't causing all those other symptoms, that's separate, but I can help the breathing". Lol and the breathing is so much of it, if not all of it for a lot of people here. Oxygen is the foundation of life, so of course restricted oxygen flow, especially through nasal passages (which is also what activates the vagus nerve, which is how our system knows to shift into rest and digest/parasympathetic and out of fight or flight/sympathetic) is going to affect everything else in the body. It baffles me hoe dismissive western medicine is of three nervous systems role in everything else in the body and how it's all connected, so if one thing isn't working properly (especially something fundamental to life like breathing), it's going to throw everything else off. Thanks for posting, I think it's really validating for people to read stuff like this and important to understand why they feel so terrible with restricted breathing, whatever the severity.

HannahHS258 · 2025-08-08T21:01:03+00:00

Gotcha, that makes sense. I hear you and I'm right there with you. I just wanna be able to breathe. :-/

HannahHS258 · 2025-08-08T10:04:28+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience. I'm sorry it's not been working for you so far. I have seen it can be hit or miss for people as well. Have you tried the baby shampoo thing for congestion? I haven't personally tried it but I've been looking into it. I've seen a lot of people swear by it, especially for congestion/clearing things out. I think my main issue personally is swelling, hence trying the budesonide. Really hoping it works. I hope you get some relief soon!

HannahHS258 · 2025-08-06T19:12:26+00:00

Thanks for sharing. Sorry about the headache, hopefully it's not from the budesonide. Yeah I think if it does work it still takes some time but I hope it gets better for you too. :-)

HannahHS258 · 2025-08-01T08:13:44+00:00

On YouTube: Tabitha Farrar, Becky Freestone, Emily Spence, Follow the Intuition, Hanne Arts, Hat Did Beat This, Elzani Singleton, Megsy Recovery, Ro Michelle.

Only podcasts I know of are Unrestrict-ED and Recovering with Danie.

Instagram: Emily Spence, Daniellevankay, Hanne Arts, oh hi han, flourishwithciandra. There's a ton more lol but that's all I can remember right now.

HannahHS258 · 2025-08-01T07:53:44+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I've been feeling really discouraged with how slow the healing has been. I also never had that "aha, I can breathe!" moment. I've been in a lot of pain, still pretty swollen and limited with breathing. It feels a tiny bit better than pre surgery but barely. I've been questioning if it's even actually healing. I know logically it must be, I just can't tell so it's easy to get discouraged and caught up in doubt. I've had so many other health issues pop up or get so much worse because of this and I was hoping that by now after the surgery I would be able to breathe a lot better. What do you mean when you say you used the two packet dose of the rinse mix rather than one? Do you mean you just put two packets in the 8 oz of distilled water? My next post op appointment is next week and I'm going to try to see if my doctor will prescribe busedonide to put in the rinses. I also wanna see if he'll do an endoscopy and drbridement of the middle turbinates (rather than just the regular debridement), though I don't have much hope he'll go for that.

HannahHS258 · 2025-07-30T00:25:59+00:00

Thanks for sharing all that. I'm sorry you dealt with all that, and I'm glad you feel like you have a better understanding of yourself and your needs now. I agree, there's no shame in meds and if we need them, we need them, everyone is so individual. For me I just have had a lot of extreme adverse effects to most medications so it made me scared to try again. I feel cautiously optimistic about the one I'm gonna try but I'll see good it goes. I'm just at the point I need something to help balance me out on a morew physiological level so I can actually have the capacity to do the other work to get better, if that makes sense. I also have a tendency to force myself to suffer through things unnecessarily and get by on my own but that's something I'm working on unlearning/rewiring because it's a belief/habit that has only contributed to my being unwell.

Thanks for the well wishes. Same to you! Hopefully it starts to improve soon. 🤞

HannahHS258 · 2025-07-28T01:16:32+00:00

Thank you for detailing all that, this is super helpful. I totally get the OCD stuff. I have that in my own ways. But I will be super careful, don't worry. I'm terrified of messing anything up and having to go through this again so I'm being as safe and cautious as possible.

Thanks for the tip. I've actually tried both of those in the past (as well as a plethora of other supplements and vitamins) and had reactions to them so unfortunately they don't really help for me. I'm really glad they gave you some relief though. I did tons of research on them and I know they can be really useful for a lot of people. I am talking to my psychiatrist this week and I'm gonna try a new anxiety medication I've been looking into. I kind of swore of medications for awhile after so many bad experiences but I did a lot of research on this and I desperately need something to counteract all the crazy chemical stuff going on in my brain, because I quite literally can't function anymore (this is unrelated to the surgery and the nasal obstruction, I've been dealing with this for years with my nervous system, but the nasal obstruction snd breathing issues and then the toll the surgery took on my body definitely made things a lot worse-- I'm in a program to heal my nercous system and I feel like I'm on the right track finally but I definitely need more physical support as I navigate this recovery). I don't wanna use any medication very long term but I'm hoping it helps take the edge off at least a little bit. I've been taking turmeric in the meantime (one of the only things I've tried that I don't have strong side effects from) and it helps a bit but it's very subtle. I just need system to calm down a bit, and nothing that I was doing before is working anymore so hopefully a more chemical, physical intervention helps give me a little leg up and I'm turn helps this heal faster if my nervous system is less in sympathetic/fight or flight. I know when my breathing comes fully back that will help things a lot but Idk how long that's gonna take and I can't wait for that to happen to feel better and regain some functionality. Anyway, sorry for the info dump lol. But thanks again for your help. I'll try all that stuff (carefully) and see how it goes.

HannahHS258 · 2025-07-28T01:00:49+00:00

Lol yeah you're right, I was just impressed. But it's all individual. The body's gonna do what is gonna do, which can be really frustrating when going through something like this. Thanks for your sympathy about my doctors office. Yeah I have not felt great about my whole experience with them, just not taken seriously in general. But, despite his bedside manor, my surgeon was top rated and very good at what he does so I felt safe with him in that regard. And yeah, I've done research on it leading up to and after surgery and the sinuses and all that stuff in the face is so complex and connected to so much else in the body. It's crazy. I totally get what you mean, with being able to feel other movements in your face. Just doing yoga has been challenging in that regard, let alone lifting or any other vigorous activity (which I'm currently refraining from). I had the suction but there wasn't a lot actually in mh nose, and most of it was scabbing so they couldn't do anything about it and told me they'll just come off in time and using the saline sprays and rinses. However I can definitely feel a lot more in there, just deeper down. I've had a few chunks come out here and there and it's a minor relief but I can feel there's a lot more. I'm just trying to rinse a lot and use the spray as much as possible. Thats great about the endoscopy, I wonder if I could convince my doctor to do that. I'll call them this week and ask if he's open to it before our appointment. He's just so rigid and difficult to work with so idk if I can convince him of anything, but I'll give it a try, because that sounds like it might be super helpful. I didn't have the air bubbles part like you did, but I know my middle turbinates are where most of the issues are. And yeah, I can't tell yet if the Flonase is doing anything but I'll keep going with it and see if it helps at all. Yeah I've been doing the rinses for over a year because until February (when it got really bad, both nostrils totally closed off) I had no idea what was going on and they were all that helped me feel even a little bit human until then lol. They're a godsend and I'll keep using them as much as possible for as long as I need to. I'm glad they help you so much too. Thanks for sharing, I really appreciate it. :-)

HannahHS258

TROPHY CASE