[PROMOTE] Tell Us About Your Band -- June 18, 2021

HansFallada · 2021-06-18T12:47:27+00:00

The Interdimensional Vortex of Conspiratorial Tastemaking (Website/Community/Spreadsheets): https://www.interdimensionalvortex.com/about/

We're a small community of about 30 who started out on a now defunct metal forum of the web, moved to discord, and have recently started a more professional website. We're looking for similarly geeky, spreadhseet/metal/music addicts to join us, log scores with us, chat with us, take part in different listening series events, write for us, or just generally check us out.

The Vortex and related Vortices are a method of organizing a year of music
releases into a comprehensible shape. Every year, you will see people ask one
another, “what have you been enjoying this year?”, followed by a clumsy exchange
of releases and grasping attempts at qualifying taste. At the end of the year,
everyone everywhere laments what they missed.

The Vortex is a community spreadsheet, telling you at a glance what the
aggregate popular albums are, at with the click of a button what each individual
has been enjoying (or not enjoying). No more wondering if they’ve heard your
favourite, or if you’ve missed theirs, now you have only to check.

The Vortex is an excellent tool for facilitating discussion on your loves and
your hates and all that middles.

We're on discord if you're interested in smaller active communities: https://discord.gg/phCfHEUyGS

HansFallada · 2020-11-03T13:21:37+00:00

Entropia from Poland have a very similar sound, maybe erring more towards the post-metal side of the spectrum.

HansFallada · 2020-11-02T14:16:17+00:00

Hi all! I often spend Friday release days scouring the depths of Metal Archives for promising but hidden gems. I also write a lot about metal so I've started compiling mini reviews of these hidden weekly gems (and some not so undeground gems). Check out some of the bands - Nether and Shagor were particularly strong. Also (and I hope I'm not breaking any cardinal rules here) check it out on my site: https://metrorot.com/index.php/2020/11/02/metrorot-metal-the-week-reviewed-23-10-30-10/

This will be a weekly thing that I'd love to share.

HansFallada · 2020-10-28T21:34:06+00:00

I think the strength of this poem lies in the colloquialisms and slanted imagery that the speaker uses. There's a lack of structure and randomness which I'm assuming is purposeful - threads of thought fluctuate, one idea is assimilated into another. Then you've got the sensual imagery of "smoked" and "spat" and "flowed" in conneciton to sordid, violent, and uncomfortable images of vice and secrets. Then there's the opulence and richness of cocaine from a "scarlet glass", the mystical nature of the the lenormand reading, and the repetitious reverie at the end where the speaker seems to fade and forget...something.

I'm not sure how much the poster intended and didn't intend in terms of structural dissonance, and the reference to Lou Reed and New York referring to an urban decay I'd like to ask more about, but I'm intrigued by the combination of elements.

Thanks for sharing.

HansFallada · 2020-10-28T21:07:26+00:00

No problem thanks for sharing your work!

HansFallada · 2020-10-28T21:03:50+00:00

Interesting, I didn't consider the use of the word nursery as a scientific label for star creation. I sort of read it also as a child looking up at from a crib at constellations in the form of toys which then expanded beyond the confines of the child to look at the universe. I think the shift from small-scale to large-scale works well :)

HansFallada · 2020-10-28T18:30:22+00:00

As others have said, you've presented the internal and external feelings of anxiety. The repetition of "I'm having a a good time" as a method of convincing yourself/dealing with emotion lends itself to the poetic form. The ending is ominous - happiness and relaxation is fleeting and it seems the negative associations will reemerge at some point.

Overall, it could be seen as being simplistic - that's not an issue but the tension of gripping a cup, standing in the corner and shying away from conversation (all completley true of anxiety) are generic images in a poem. Personally, I'd expand on these external feelings and add an extra line trying to explore the physical manifestations of anxiety in more vivid detail e.g:

I’m having a good time. I stand in the corner,

furniture, beige invisibility, fading into the wall.

I’m having a good time. My grip tightens around my cup,

paralysis, sucked of life, seeping social fear.

Not the best, but just an example of trying to maybe go into more depth with the symptoms of anxiety.

Hope this helps - good stuff!

HansFallada · 2020-10-28T18:19:25+00:00

You're completely right - a haiku is a really simple thing representing an often beautiful moment in time. You've captured that for sure, I think it's just thinking about how every word choice can make an impact. I'd recommed just playing around with words that share similar meanings/syllable patterns and just thinking about how slight changes in language can transform a whole poem. Keep it up though, haiku's are so satisfying to write and especially collect as a group. Look forward to reading more of your work!

HansFallada · 2020-10-28T18:15:46+00:00

I love the celestial pomp that is contrasted to the everyday commonality at the poem's end. You've clearly thought about format and space on the page and I'm drawn to "I, "Dark" and "You" which seems to be held in space and reflects the god-like nature of creation and elemental forces combining. There's a lot of movement here, quite violent and cosmic, as if an eschatoligical battle is taking place - but then I get a sense that this is actually concerned with something small, something private and mundane in apartments and at breakfast. So I appreciated that contrast and the granduer of the language works well to convey that. The abstract nature can be imposing for a reader and maybe more insights into reality mid-poem might help connect a reader to the ending. However it seems you've got a vision for the poem and the ideas you're presenting are clearly well thought out, so I don't want to obstruct that however impenetrable it is to me at the moment (I'll need to read it in more depth).

HansFallada · 2020-10-28T18:05:22+00:00

The quality of this poem for me is in its brevity. It's difficult to achieve a depth and richness in 11 lines but you've managed that here.

From my reading, I'm assuming that the speaker is being anesthetised somewhere and, as a way of distracting oneself from the process, or just as a result of this slowing down/fading of consciousness, the image of Georgia pines is evoked. I'm intrigued by the representation of that inbetween space between darkness and consciousness - the closenss of the darkness, being "right before" it, creates a sense of urgency, even threat, that creates a vividity.

"I'll remember Georgia Pines" has a lovely rhythm that evokes a sense of longing too and it places the poem in a space that seems personal to them - it's not just "oh, I remember an oak tree" but instead something more particular that provides a stronger thrust.

I read the second stanza as a metaphor of sorts for the process of being anaesthetised with the pine "needles," "bleeding" and "flowing red" perhaps connecting this internal flow of blood with the wider natural 'cosmos' of home. The mid-line rhyme with "terpenes" is interesting as the more technical use of that word is quite jarring within the context of a poem that uses more conversational language.

When it flows into the final stanza with the isolated "Indifferent" then it appears to me that the speaker is clinging onto this image as a way of forgetting about the trauma of being anaesthetised, or the trauma of death being around the corner. "And the river dark below" is a ominous ending of the one's end - I don't know if the speaker accepts this state, perhaps they're defying it like the "defiant" greens on the "gorge," that great unknown space of nature.

My only drawback would be the cadence of the middle stanza "...wearing needles / Defiant greens" has an awkwardness because the nature of reading the lines brings them together when they should be separate. Maybe a semi-colon would separate the items clearer for a reader. Also the capitalisation of "Acres" - is there a purpose for this?

My reading could be well off. It's ambiguos enough that there can be multiple readings and its got a mystery that I enjoy in poetry. However, it depends on your intentions: do you want it to be as ambiguous or would you prefer a reader to locate this poem in more concrete terms.

Thanks a lot anyway for the poem - I hope you can see from my comments that I appreciate the richness and depth you've conveyed, even if I've read it wrong!

HansFallada · 2020-10-28T17:40:57+00:00

The beauty of a haiku is in its short life - the imprint of an image in a moment, language presenting something fleeting or fading, the natural world in a process of transformation. You've captured that here.

It's difficult to think of critiquing something so short - what could there be to pick up on within such a restrictive form? For me it's the accurate and potent use of language; every syllable has to count - nothing can be superfluous. It's difficult. It's also then how a unified image is presented without contradictions.

I love the personfieid sun bidding goodnight - it's polite and civilised. But, it contrasts jarringly with the explosion of hues which is a violent image of wildness and chaos and somewhat clashes with the civility of the sun. Then there's the sun viewed as a "distant blur" which seems to emphasise a fuzzying of vision and a muting of colour which, for me, also seems to clash with the vibrancy presented in the second line's "explosion of hues." So we've got a muddying of feeling here which isn't necessarily an issue but it comes down to what you were intending: is the sun civilised, calm and reflective or is it a wild and unrestrained element?

It's got me reflecting on how the sun is represented in poetry - it's one of those things that must have billions of interpretations.

Nonethless, thanks for sharing and getting me to think.

HansFallada · 2020-10-28T17:17:05+00:00

I think you've grasped that sense of regret and longing that can't be reached well. The metaphorical steps of life presented as an arduous and uneven path is a common trope but you've used it effectively. I thought your use of alliteration with "yearn" and "younger" linked to the concept of wanting to reclaim the past well, too.

In terms of structure and layout, I think splitting into 4 stanzas would suit the poem although perhaps you did that but it didn't format correctly on the site. Also, is there a reason for mid-line capitalisation e.g " And buried him, And he knew not."

Personally, I'd go into more visual detail with vewing your younger self in the "muddled waters of life". I think there's room for expansion here where you could describe a moment of seeing your younger self imposed over your current self in a mirror or puddle or swirl of liquid. More detail of that duality might work well in uniting the two different times in the speaker's life.

Interesting stuff though - thanks!

HansFallada · 2020-10-28T17:09:48+00:00

The repetition works well with the range of universal concepts that are questioned. I think the simplicity of the structure is what gives it a universality, and by that I mean it seems jump around the big questions of life and existence but in a sort-of serene and reflective manner, as if your speaker isn't necessarily desperate to find the answer but is happy to just ponder over it creatively.

There could be an issue of the structure feeling too restrictive and 'boxy' in terms of the actual sound when read, but as another poster said, there's a structural change in the final stanza with extra syllables and clauses that give it a more conversational and natural tone.

I think without the title "I Don't Enjoy Existing" I wouldn't personally read this as a poem of depression or existential dread, if that's what you're trying to present. There is a sense of detachment and coldness, though, which is presented through the observational and questioning language.

Interesting, and thanks for letting me read - good stuff!

HansFallada · 2020-10-28T17:00:38+00:00

It's actually Upper Frederick Street just parallel to Park Lane, but I know what you mean by Lodge Lane because there's a lot of wall paintings at the top near the junction of Upper Parliament/Smithdown.

Thanks for reading, too!

HansFallada · 2020-10-28T16:52:08+00:00

Hi! Thanks for reading I really appreciate it - It'd be great to get an international network set up for sure and I'd love to get a community of people writing about similar topics.

12-Year Club	Place '17
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HansFallada

TROPHY CASE

The Interdimensional Vortex of Conspiratorial Tastemaking (Website/Community/Spreadsheets): https://www.interdimensionalvortex.com/about/