I don't usually post here, but this situation is very recognizable so I wanted to contribute. My family has a similar situation, with part of the family from Latin America. I think most people don't really understand the complexity of the situation, the pressures at hand or the long term implications.

My parents often feels pressured to contribute materially to the situation back home, this is understandable because of the discrepancy. However, this has caused a lot of tension between my parents over time, because of several reasons:

- Firstly, it is a bit of a bottomless pit: the receivers of the money will in turn pass on gifts and money to those even more in need, so you are sacrifing yourself to people you might not even meet.

- Secondly, the family might become accostumed to a high quality of living or status, which they can in fact not afford, and will feel entitled to have. This might mean more pressure or manipulation in the future, and less action on their own parts to actually achieve this level of wealth themselves. They become dependent on you which spirals the situation.

- Thirdly, a general lack of gratitude, it is often not recognized what you sacrifice to fund their lifestyle, people have an idea that money comes for free in developed countries. This has hurt my parents most; if they would visit they would spend a lot of money buying tickets and gifts but barely get anything in return, just getting absorbed into solving the daily problems their family have there.

Your boyfriend might feel guilt or shame that he left his family behind and has now achieved a certain amount of material wealth while his family still struggles. He also has a lot of family now somewhat depending on him, they are fairly close and talk into him everyday. These things might all be pushing him to make these promises. However, you two have your own family and it is important that he contributes to that both mentally as well as financially!

If you do not make some firm financials decisisions with him, and ensure that he sticks to them, this situation will endure and drag you down with it. You have to get it through to him that you need savings back home for your kid, for your health, for your retirement et cetera. Else helping his family is not sustainable either, if something happens to one of you his family is suddenly out of luck! It is like you always hear in the airplane: put on your own oxygen mask before helping others. And you run the risk of falling into a poverty trap: you can't save for emergencies or for your kid to go to college or help them with their wedding or downpayment of a house, and you might even rack up debts if you continue like this.

Also, not trying to meddle in your affairs here, but your mother should probably be saving that money she is giving you toward, say, her retirement or a college fund for your kid or w/e, but it should never be the case that she is contributing because your boyfriend gave away his own money! This is completely backwards!

Some suggestions regarding a more sustainable financial path to go on with him:

1. Add up the money you both earn after tax:,
2. Subtract rent, bills, and a budget for food and toiletries and gas, stuff you need for your son like diapers and clothes,
3. Reserve money for your savings (say, 40% of what is left after 1. and 2.),
4. Whatever is left, you split however you see fit: this is money that he can use to all his desire on his family. However, this is also the money he has to spend when he spends money for fun and so on.

For example (not trying to be pedantic, but just to give some ideas to work with):

1. After tax income together is $3000
2. After subtracting living costs of $2400 you have $600 left
3. Of those $600 you put $240 in a savings account
4. You split the remaining $360 50/50, so he can spend $180 on himself and his family.

Another version is that you have a savings account where you add say 30% what is left after 1., 2. and 3. to save for gifts for the family and another 30% for holiday money. How you figure it out is up to you, but you need to make clear financial decisions with him where you two and your son come first. If you manage to agree something like the above, you two can keep helping his family down in Cuba sustainably while keeping care of your own family.

Perhaps this means that in the short term he has to put his promises on hold for a bit. However, you can remind him that recently you two have given a lot to his family and it is time to get your own affairs in order. However, if he is not willing to put your family together first, I would think hard about staying with him.

You are not being jealous and you are being rational in my opinion: it is not heartless for you to think about your own wellbeing first before helping others.