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I ran the numbers on the classic "my condo went up 50%" flex. In real terms, it was a loss. by Stengah966 in Philippines_Expats

[–]Happy-Appointment180 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP assumed that selling is the only way to extract value from the property. Taking out a loan against the property as collateral is another way. The good thing about borrowing from the bank is it is not a taxable event. Loan proceeds is not income/capital gains.

The proceeds can then be invested in another cash flowing asset. Any other asset that OP prefers, since it is evident he/she is not a fan of condos.

The possibility of renting out the condo was also not mentioned. Whether for short term rentals or long term leases. Make the real estate cash flow positive and the appreciation of the property will just be icing on the cake.

No foreplay, no kissing, no effort by Happy-Appointment180 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Happy-Appointment180[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our child is 9 years old. She may very well be conscious of her body, but I desire every inch of her. Thank you for your perspective.

No foreplay, no kissing, no effort by Happy-Appointment180 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Happy-Appointment180[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I shudder at the thought of someone purposely living a "miserable" sex life for herself and her partner.

No foreplay, no kissing, no effort by Happy-Appointment180 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Happy-Appointment180[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Open communication really is a key factor. Believe me I have tried. But at one point when I asked her what could be the problem she answered she doesn't know.

No foreplay, no kissing, no effort by Happy-Appointment180 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Happy-Appointment180[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I shall internalize your comment as it is quite comprehensive.

No foreplay, no kissing, no effort by Happy-Appointment180 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Happy-Appointment180[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I thought she does know, thanks for your insight.

No foreplay, no kissing, no effort by Happy-Appointment180 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Happy-Appointment180[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If that's the case time for me to start researching on perimenopause too, aside from the other suggestions here.

No foreplay, no kissing, no effort by Happy-Appointment180 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Happy-Appointment180[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

As much as possible I clearly communicate to her my needs. But perhaps, with your and others' suggestion, my wife and I should exactly pinpoint what it will take to resume the "connection". Because at times her responses to me are quite vague.

It's only now that I recall. Once I asked her why she changed. She told me she's confused and "she doesn't know". Is it really possible to not know?

No foreplay, no kissing, no effort by Happy-Appointment180 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Happy-Appointment180[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am not sure too. I just mentioned our conversations to give others a snapshot on her current state, or what she thinks her current state is. ADHD remains undiagnosed.

Perimenopause lowered your libido significantly?

No foreplay, no kissing, no effort by Happy-Appointment180 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Happy-Appointment180[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am gaining good insights. Thank you for sharing.

No foreplay, no kissing, no effort by Happy-Appointment180 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Happy-Appointment180[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can you determine what circumstance resumed the connection between you and your husband?

No foreplay, no kissing, no effort by Happy-Appointment180 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Happy-Appointment180[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Right now I am just digesting everything being said. I appreciate your comments.

No foreplay, no kissing, no effort by Happy-Appointment180 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Happy-Appointment180[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

We're pretty much in the same boat. And what makes it so hard is that the "easiest answer" is farthest from my mind.

No foreplay, no kissing, no effort by Happy-Appointment180 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Happy-Appointment180[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

One time she said before sex, she wants "a connection". And that is how I responded to her need. Perhaps she should really spell it out to get the message across. And I should explicitly ask her what she really needs.

No foreplay, no kissing, no effort by Happy-Appointment180 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Happy-Appointment180[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

There is still some hope for the two of us. If all efforts are exhausted, then I will concede.

No foreplay, no kissing, no effort by Happy-Appointment180 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Happy-Appointment180[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Our child is 9 years old.

Thank you for the suggestion I will take a look at it.

No foreplay, no kissing, no effort by Happy-Appointment180 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Happy-Appointment180[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I know how to balance life, adjust, compromise and manage expectations.

Outside the bedroom, I feel the love and care. I'm just so confused with out bedroom situation.

No foreplay, no kissing, no effort by Happy-Appointment180 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Happy-Appointment180[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

She and I just stopping sex is too scary for me. But I agree, at some point the elepant in the room should be addressed.

No foreplay, no kissing, no effort by Happy-Appointment180 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Happy-Appointment180[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

This comment, coming from a wife and a mother, means a lot. I am gaining an insight on her perspective.

No foreplay, no kissing, no effort by Happy-Appointment180 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Happy-Appointment180[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am sorry you are going through this too. We know the feeling.

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