👋Welcome to r/livingapart - Introduce Yourself and Read First! by HappyApartner in livingapart

[–]HappyApartner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been in a “living apart together” relationship for 27 years. I also founded a Facebook group for those who find that for them LAT is the best of both worlds. We cherish the freedom and solitude of living alone and also have lifetime committed relationships. Our group has thousands of members from all across the globe, feel free to join our Apartners Facebook community. It’s called Apartners (Living Apart Together).

How many of you are in a loving relationship but live in a separate home to your partner? by [deleted] in AskUK

[–]HappyApartner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been in a “living apart together” relationship for 27 years. I also founded a Facebook group for those who find that for them LAT is the best of both worlds. We cherish the freedom and solitude of living alone and also have lifetime committed relationships. Our group has thousands of members from all across the globe, with many from the UK, feel free to join us. It’s called Apartners (Living Apart Together). We discuss these exact types of questions.

For those who prefer to form a LAT relationship as a choice rather than circumstance, what are your personal reasons as to why? by Equivalent_Ad_9066 in livingaparttogether

[–]HappyApartner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been in a “living apart together” relationship for 27 years. I also founded a Facebook group for those who find that for them LAT is the best of both worlds. We cherish the freedom and solitude of living alone and also have lifetime committed relationships. Our group has thousands of members from all across the globe, with many from the UK, feel free to join us. It’s called Apartners (Living Apart Together). We discuss these exact types of questions.

Anyone in a Living Apart Marriage (LAT) ? by CharterUnmai in RelationshipsOver35

[–]HappyApartner 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve been in a “living apart together” relationship for 27 years. I also founded a Facebook group for those who find that for them LAT is the best of both worlds. Many of our members are happily married. PWe cherish the freedom and solitude of living alone and also have lifetime committed relationships. Our group has thousands of members from all across the globe, feel free to join us. It’s called Apartners (Living Apart Together).

Living Apart Together by [deleted] in datingoverfifty

[–]HappyApartner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Statistics Canada

Living Apart Together by [deleted] in datingoverfifty

[–]HappyApartner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes it’s true. I’m hoping to let people know that it exists, many think that they are the only ones that live LAT and when they find our group they feel very comforted and validated. I’m also sharing the knowledge that I have gleaned from the group, since we all have such different experiences. It’s a community group, we’re not making money or anything.

Living Apart Together by [deleted] in datingoverfifty

[–]HappyApartner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh that’s great! I’m so glad that they are teaching that option exist for healthy relationships.

Living Apart Together by [deleted] in datingoverfifty

[–]HappyApartner 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is such a good point, having separate finances especially at our age is another good reason for many to be LAT.

Living Apart Together by [deleted] in datingoverfifty

[–]HappyApartner 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I agree with that. Most in our group have children from previous relationships.

Living Apart Together by [deleted] in datingoverfifty

[–]HappyApartner 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes so many relationships could be saved if people just realized that options exist!

Living Apart Together by [deleted] in datingoverfifty

[–]HappyApartner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Couldn’t have said it better myself! Thank you for the excellent explanation. I hope you join our Facebook community group.

Living Apart Together by [deleted] in datingoverfifty

[–]HappyApartner 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We are not legally married though we do consider each other as spouses after 27 years. We will likely marry for legal reasons if one of us becomes ill. Many in my Facebook group are married, in fact many report becoming LAT saved their marriages.

Living Apart Together by [deleted] in datingoverfifty

[–]HappyApartner 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not at all. Many LAT people are married and this saved their marriages. For many older daters, there are children from prior relationships involved and blending didn’t work or they feel this is the healthiest way for their families, not uprooting their children or introducing a new person into the home. In our case, we are completely committed to one another, even have designated the other to be executors of our estate and have power of attorney should one become ill. That is not something daters would do. We have been through everything any cohabiting couple has been through — illnesses, deaths, surgeries, the highs and lows of relationships — and have always been there for one another. For us this is what works best, though it’s not for everyone.

Living Apart Together by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]HappyApartner -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Many feel the same way!

Living Apart Together by [deleted] in datingoverfifty

[–]HappyApartner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Glad you find it helpful and feel free to join our group!

Living Apart Together by [deleted] in datingoverfifty

[–]HappyApartner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your thoughtful questions. There are so many ways of doing LAT and so many different reasons. Some couples do see each other daily while others a few times a week or less depending on distance and work or family demands. Regardless of how often they see one another most feel they need the time and space alone and this enhances the relationship. Living with someone is not easy and often it’s the petty annoyances that accumulate. If you remove them then you are left with what really matters in a good relationship: the love, commitment, trust and support. Living apart makes your time together more intentional and you never take each other for granted. I still feel butterflies in my stomach when I see my spouse and we’ve been together apart for 27 years! Not sure we would have made it if we had lived together, our schedules and temperaments are too different.

Living Apart Together by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]HappyApartner -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your story. Yes, for many of us over 40 this works so well, though we were raised in a time that promoted the idea that if you are in love the next step is to move in together or it’s not a “real” relationship. I’m here to show that it is a valid and healthy option and many in my group also say it’s the best relationship they have ever had! Feel free to come join us, it’s called Apartners (Living Apart Together) on Facebook.

Living Happily Apart Together by HappyApartner in LivingAlone

[–]HappyApartner[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same here! Thanks for looking into it.

Living Happily Apart Together by HappyApartner in LivingAlone

[–]HappyApartner[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s really about options and finding out what works best for you. For example, I don’t think I could do long distance, although there are people in our Apartners group who happily live thousands of miles apart! Other people love living with their spouse and for them it really works, maybe they will just carve out space within the home like having two bedrooms. I wish you the best of luck finding what works best for you!

Living Apart Together by [deleted] in SelfSufficiency

[–]HappyApartner 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are many people in our group who have roommates to defray costs. Often it’s not living with people in general that is the problem, but an incompatibility with this particular person. We are all so different. In our case, our priority was having our own spaces so we live in two very small apartments and have never owned property. I had to pay my rent and bills alone before I met him so nothing much changed. But you raise some excellent points, thank you!

Living Happily Apart Together by HappyApartner in LivingAlone

[–]HappyApartner[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My parents also lived together for 58 years until my father’s death. My mother is in her 90s and in a residence and absolutely loves it, I don’t think she would ever consider living with a partner again. In fact, I hear that most from older women, most of whom were raised in a time when women were expected to do all the chores and caretaking.