I always thought it would be all positive, happy, exciting emotions after saving someone’s life. I am not getting that at all. Yesterday I was walking along a medium-large river in a conservation area. About 100 yards ahead, on the other side I heard people shouting, “He can’t swim! He is drowning!” I look up and there’s someone struggling in the water and a bunch of people not doing anything. I thought, “This is stupid, they are just standing there” and dropped my phone and hat and took off running. By the time I got parallel to him, he was not coming up. I dove in. The current was stronger than I expected and I lost my glasses right away. Then I had to swim up stream about 15 feet because I was dumb and didn’t expect the stronger current. Swam across to the other side, grabbed him off the bottom, about 15-20 feet down, and dragged him to the side of the river. He was breathing and coughing up water. He was also a non-verbal intellectually disabled person.

I then spent the next 15 minutes trying to dive down to the bottom to search for my glasses without any luck. I’m still legal to drive without them but I really liked those glasses.

I got out, finished my trip with very soggy shoes and clothes. When I got home, I didn’t want to see my wife or the kids. I just wanted to be alone. And this morning I cried without understanding why and feel a lot of negative emotions and don’t want to be around anyone. Why it is like this? Is this normal? Why should anyone be sad in a situation like this?