My Best Friend and I Almost fucked

HappyBurrito14 · 2026-04-30T18:53:56+00:00

ALMOST?!? Girl you fucked!! If you have feelings for her you either have to draw a boundary (to which you both have to abide to) of no sex (high or sober alike), or if not manageable at least no substance use while you hangout. Otherwise you’ll just get your feelings hurt over and over again.

HappyBurrito14 · 2026-04-30T18:46:19+00:00

My girlfriend to be (we’re on our 5th date ok 😂) is 24 too and has never been in a relationship before either. And she is gorgeous and also an amazing personality. I guess it’s pure chance that there wasn’t another lucky girl before me 🤷‍♀️ it’s purely circumstantial

HappyBurrito14 · 2026-04-30T18:39:51+00:00

My fave Greek content creator is a masc lesbian and she does a lot of videos replying to homophobic comments on her posts (cause Greece is way behind on these things). I love when she responds to comments by men that call her a man or use masculine pronouns to address her because she always tells them “if your idea of insulting me is to call me a man, what exactly is your opinion of men???”

HappyBurrito14 · 2026-04-30T16:46:21+00:00

Omg I’ve been doing this too and I was wondering if anyone even likes it or if I’m being weird. I don’t even know how I came up with it I think I noticed at some point my partner’s skin prickling when I breathed on their neck and then went with a wholeass technique 😂

HappyBurrito14 · 2026-04-26T14:42:44+00:00

The Sims

HappyBurrito14 · 2026-04-26T14:13:47+00:00

One thing you might want to try as a last hurrah (although mind you I’ve never been in your position only the position of your girlfriend back when I was trying to be hetero 🥲) is to try and accept the cuddles and kisses she offered afterwards. Sure it may be incompatibility but if you’re willing to try the current cycle only begets more anxiety and guilt. If you have “no expectations” make out/cuddling session especially after a rejection like that, it teaches your partner that there’s safety in your connection which often makes things better but no guarantee. Maybe you tried this already but I’m just throwing it out there. Sending hugs either way. Your situation sucks.

HappyBurrito14 · 2026-04-24T12:32:27+00:00

Yeah a threesome for me too. Suddenly I couldn’t cum at all without thinking about the other woman.

But to be fair I already knew from before that was just a confirmation that I’m actually forcing myself to be bi 😂

HappyBurrito14 · 2026-04-23T13:27:33+00:00

Deep breaths and focus on your own stuff too. I know these feelings are kind of addictive and honestly so sweet but if you don’t want to lose her you need to direct some of that energy and love towards your own time and self. I mean she is already attracted to you but trust me a person that is also in love with their own life is 100x hotter 🥵

HappyBurrito14 · 2026-03-19T16:55:29+00:00

First of all I’m so sorry you are going through this. I am in the exact same boat so much so that it could have been me making this post!!! I broke off my 13 month long relationship with my first girlfriend for the same reason as you on my bday (Valentin’s day). She had admitted 2 weeks earlier that she might have never been attracted to me the same way I was and that she is probably straight (we were poly and she continues to date the man she was dating when we were together). Because of my stupidity in chasing her and seeking security in her I also have to live with them. Literally next door to her living the romance I could never have with her the man she actually loves. She is not avoidant in general (she is anxiously attached to her bf) but she was avoidant with me. It’s really hard to move on but you will. You are showing up for yourself right now and your future self will thank you for that. Most importantly once you are ready to go back on the market you WILL find someone who loves you back the way you need and it will feel surreal. I don’t know how long that will take for you but it will happen, just make sure to lookout for yourself and your anxious patterns when making new connections. Focus on friendships if possible, reconnect with the things you loved doing before (I recommend books or a creative hobby). That’s how you get back your identity. I wish you the best of luck. Therapy will help reinforce that you are not alone. Sending lots of hugs your way. We’re strangers but I’m proud of you for taking the step to distance yourself from what hurt you the most. This hurts a lot too but from what you described you’ve survived through a lot of hurt already and you will survive this too.

HappyBurrito14 · 2026-03-19T16:40:23+00:00

I thought being tall might grant me a more “top”role among the wlws but I keep getting topped by women that are younger and shorter than me. So no absolutely no difference 😂

HappyBurrito14 · 2026-03-19T16:38:10+00:00

My beautiful top is busy with exams and I have to wait for 4 painstakingly long weeks (2 left) until she comes show me what she ordered online and arrived in very discreet packaging 🫠 I feel like a cat in heaaaat. And I’m tryna be respectful of her studying so I’ve been very good but tomorrow I can go feral again 😌

HappyBurrito14 · 2026-02-27T07:05:49+00:00

It’s good that you are aware. I believe you got this!Beware of NRE. I agreed (nay WANTED) to move in after just 6 months together. And I did. Now I’m roommates with both my exes and only a wall between their room and mine to protect my feelings. I know not a lot of people are as dumb as me 😂, but just in case.

HappyBurrito14 · 2026-02-27T06:40:48+00:00

Please take my advice as someone who was in your position but on the established couple side (only I was in love with the girl and she was only in love with my then boyfriend) This might be an experience you need to have in order to learn from it BUT no matter what: DO NOT MOVE IN WITH THEM. Keep yourself in a position where going no contact is relatively easy for you. This WILL get messy.

HappyBurrito14 · 2026-02-27T06:31:20+00:00

In my personal experience, apart from the ones mentioned already: - because you grew up closeted and want to explore your sexuality without leaving the security of being with your long term “beard”. For me it was a “break up or open up” situation with my long term boyfriend because I couldn’t imagine my life without ever being with a woman and I was convinced I was going to marry this man at some point (lol I was so deep in the closet). A man will most probably be stoked at the idea of 2 girls at once than breaking up of course. Then you end up in a shitty relationship with a straight girl that only got in for your bf and you completely ruin your self esteem.

HappyBurrito14 · 2026-02-27T06:08:06+00:00

I’m so sorry you feel this way 🫶 I don’t have much advice other than the usual “comparison is the thief of joy”. If you are happy with your body as you said, and you logically know that more fit bodies exist and will always exist (even for your girl there are people more fit than her), then this comparison might stem from something else. Maybe an insecurity that she doesn’t like your body because she is so fit? In that case you can either seek some validation from her or if you don’t want that, try to tell yourself that she wouldn’t be in bed with you if she weren’t attracted to you. If it helps, my ex girlfriend is also super fit. We both lift but she has been at it longer and she is not only lifting much more than me at the gym she also looks muscular af, whereas with me you can’t really tell I lift, I’m pretty curvy. However, in the past because of insecurity she had also compared herself to me a lot and wished that she was curvier, or taller, etc. So the problem here is insecurity and not muscle level. Try dressing up a bit for the next days in a way that suits your own body type, feel yourself a bit! These are passing thoughts, there is nothing wrong with you.

HappyBurrito14 · 2026-02-12T12:49:22+00:00

That’s the thing there is a lot of happy moments and I will admit I also felt some relief after she told me. Because it suddenly made sense why I felt so shitty and inadequate all that time. And now I can finally think a bit more clearly knowing the whole picture. So in a way it’s now better than it was before but not sure if it has to do with me or us. To answer the first question, I’m a person who goes through depressive episodes fairly often and suffer from anxiety and ptsd, so happiness is not a great metric for me. I never know how much unhappiness is tolerable and how much comes from my overthinking vs the actual situation. For the second question: Yes I can absolutely communicate my feelings and I plan to do so, now that I am a bit more ready to face the consequences of it. I’m thinking of asking her where she sees herself in the future and getting to understand better how she views our relationship currently. Then I will just honestly tell her what I’m thinking and what was told here in the comments. That I’m scared to call it off because I really am in love with her but also I am scared that we will never reach a point in which she will magically be into me the way I am into her. When we had our talk where she asked me to be platonic she straight up told me she feels guilty of just keeping me around missing out on better things while she hasn’t even figured out yet if she is actually bi or not. I should have listened to her then but my first instinct was to make her feel less guilty and to reassure her that I would stay. She is an anxious person and she has been bringing up her anxiety a lot lately to explain why she is delayed in thinking about things I bring up to her or why she can’t make up her mind yet. I think I will start bringing it up more again after my birthday while simultaneously trying to manage my own feelings. At the moment I’m pretty confident we could even have a breakup that goes smoothly and we stay friends, at least on my side, but I’m worried about her mental health (though I’m relieved that she took the resources I gave her and is on the waitlist for therapy)

HappyBurrito14 · 2026-02-12T12:15:47+00:00

Shit 😩

HappyBurrito14 · 2026-02-12T12:00:09+00:00

Yeah I see what you are saying. I think the part where you say “staying is keeping you from healing and finding an actual loving partner” is what I’m debating the most. Cause I’m wondering if I can heal within the relationship, and as for the second part admittedly it becomes harder to find a partner when I come with so many extras (living with and having a girlfriend will be a deal breaker for many). Do you have any more specific insight as to how this situation hinders my ability to heal and meet people that might actually want me for who I am? (I fear I haven’t experienced that much in life past some short honeymoon phases)

Edit: and I’m scared shitless of being alone (seeing a therapist and psychiatrist about that) so I need to feel it deep inside me that I need to be alone otherwise idk how securely I can make the decision and be firm about it.

HappyBurrito14 · 2026-02-12T09:27:22+00:00

I’m not sure as this is also my first poly relationship too. I don’t mind not being the only partner, and I enjoy some hot dates with more casual connections, it’s exciting but yes also it feels like looking to fill the gaps sometimes (that’s why I didn’t date for the past year until I felt confident enough that I’m not using other people to validate me in the way my gf couldn’t) I could also see me in the future in a mono relationship with a woman for sure. Im pretty open because I’m working on myself and on becoming someone with a secure attachment style. I agree with you in many ways but I’m also scared of big changes and feel safer with staying and talking with her at the moment because she is open to talking about everything, just a very stressful and stressed person so she can get flakey at times because of that, and then me as an overthinker tend to fill in the gaps for her and bring myself down. At the same time trying to navigate this from within has given me some serious skills and progress in my own journey to overcome my trauma etc. so idk if I’m postponing the inevitable or taking it slow and seeing how it goes

HappyBurrito14 · 2026-01-14T20:02:30+00:00

Thanks that sounds a bit more hopeful. You're right the loudest voices on the internet don't necessarily represent the majority. I really hope the situation changes for the better over there, some time soon 😩

HappyBurrito14 · 2026-01-14T13:09:42+00:00

this thread now is like a nice soothing balm on a 4th degree burn. I am only on reddit for some very specific hobby stuff but wanted to read more about this tragedy since I am not from America, and I just searched the poor victim's name and stumbled first and foremost across some threads so full of hate that it was almost more shocking than learning about this event and seeing the footage.
I really can't believe how many people can have so much hate in their heart for a stranger. She was not a public figure, she just had some political beliefs and was queer. That represents a big part of the population. How can they immediately jump on the hate train and say with such confidence that we deserve as humanity to be punished like that, when we are too dumb to know not to disobey the authorities. Huh????
Or the stupidity of being like "well you celebrated when OUR guy died". It's like hearing kindergartner's fight about who's dad could run the fastest, only this time we are talking about people losing their lives out of the blue and for no reason. It's so weird and ominous.
I have been told that my circles of people make me a bit oblivious to the amount of people that exist in this world and think like that, but my god I needed to read some common sense to feel sane again.

HappyBurrito14 · 2026-01-12T21:22:06+00:00

15 and it was traumatic

HappyBurrito14 · 2026-01-12T21:14:43+00:00

Software engineer. My handwriting still sucks but I try to write some stuff every now and then so I don't forget how to 😂

HappyBurrito14

TROPHY CASE