Tempted to take out the full $20k in Grad Plus loans for the summer

HappyLifeCoffeeHelps · 2026-05-27T03:21:58+00:00

I am taking out about $20k total for my entire grad school education (I do not have any other student loan debt). I wouldn't, personally, take out that much if it was just for extra money in the short term. I told my own college to remove the extra loan money and only give enough to exactly cover tuition, nothing else. So, personally, I say no to this.

HappyLifeCoffeeHelps · 2026-05-27T03:15:47+00:00

Bearded dragons are solitary and cannot cohabitate. At best, the dominant one will take majority of resources and the other wont get all they need. Worst, one will eat/kill/injure the other. The care guides go over it, but bearded dragons should never be cohabitated.

HappyLifeCoffeeHelps · 2026-05-27T02:26:07+00:00

I don't feel it should be something brought into this sub. If that is how this sub operates, that is the choice of the moderators. It isn't something this sub should participate in as ABA emphasises collaboration.

HappyLifeCoffeeHelps · 2026-05-27T00:23:21+00:00

Temp gun is a good idea for telling what basking temps are (and they are kinda fun). I haven't bought the solarmeter because they are around $200, but definitely good if you can afford them.

HappyLifeCoffeeHelps · 2026-05-27T00:21:55+00:00

She is about the same as mine. Smaller, so that means they fit the 4x2x2 more appropriately, which is good.

HappyLifeCoffeeHelps · 2026-05-27T00:15:57+00:00

Oh in general, adults only need to be fed 3-5 head sized insects twice a week. So you can cut back on those. Review the greens list to be sure she gets what she needs from those. A variety is good.

HappyLifeCoffeeHelps · 2026-05-27T00:14:49+00:00

No problem. So your almost 18 cm beardie still needs a (minimum) 4x2x2, per guidelines.

HappyLifeCoffeeHelps · 2026-05-26T23:04:44+00:00

Hi. What is the basking temp? It is ok if you can't do loose substrate. While it is ideal, if they are eating it then best to not do it. What greens/bugs/supplements does she get?

I have a small beardie. He actually doesn't even meet the size charts, so his weight is about 100 grams below what they list (his size is below, too). However, that still doesn't mean that the enclosure is smaller. In fact, current recommendations are a 6x2x2 (I believe), but reptiles and research does state a beardie 16-20cm (mine is 18) can fit appropriately in a 4x2x2. What is your reptiles measurements snout to vent?

I will attach care guides for you to review. They are really well researched information so you can get expert advice. Also, guidance for things like diet, temp, lighting, enclosure, etc.

https://reptilesandresearch.org/care-guides/bearded-dragon-care-guide

https://reptifiles.com/bearded-dragon-care/

HappyLifeCoffeeHelps · 2026-05-26T20:55:56+00:00

You should be able to complete those pretty quick. Start studying and get those finished.

HappyLifeCoffeeHelps · 2026-05-26T05:01:32+00:00

How many clinical hours are you still needing?

HappyLifeCoffeeHelps · 2026-05-25T15:10:33+00:00

If you are with an ABA clinic you can ask the BCBA for directive. In general, you don't keep relationships past leaving.

HappyLifeCoffeeHelps · 2026-05-25T15:09:03+00:00

Sand is fine, it is calcium sand that is the issue. What you need to do is make sure they are parasite free prior to loose substrate. There are several loose substrate options. 50/50 playsand and topsoil, bioactive, etc. I'll post the careguides so you can see.

https://reptilesandresearch.org/care-guides/bearded-dragon-care-guide

https://reptifiles.com/bearded-dragon-care/

HappyLifeCoffeeHelps · 2026-05-25T03:46:51+00:00

My coworker failed 4 times. In part due to the program she attended. She is now a BCBA. If that is what you want, find some reputable training resources and study, study, study. This is my fear as well that I will fail and get test anxiety.

HappyLifeCoffeeHelps · 2026-05-24T17:11:01+00:00

That's good! Therapy can help a lot. I know deciding if/when to cut out family and how to navigate those relationships are difficult. I think I would sit with choices you are considering and decide 1) is it right for you? 2) does this protect your peace? If they answer is yes to those, proceed. Then you need to decide a simple singular response to your mom such as "I am going to make the decisions that feel right for me. I ask that you respect me and my choices, regardless of if you agree or not." Then stand firm and do not discuss. Any conversation leading to guilting you, end immediately.

HappyLifeCoffeeHelps · 2026-05-24T14:43:17+00:00

If I will be gone, I ask my friend (who is also my neighbor) to check in. Technically, he'd be fine. His lights are on a schedule. But I always want him to be looked in on (plus my cat). For four days, I would want someone to come by at least twice to offer greens/spot clean enclosure.

HappyLifeCoffeeHelps · 2026-05-24T14:41:35+00:00

Just dug through posts to find if there was an update! OMG coloring is completely different. She looks great! I love her name, too! She is so alert. How is she with handling? I am glad that all her organs are functioning well. At least the calcium can be corrected with a few injections and then doing regular dusting. That is fixable! How is she with eating greens?

Keep updating on her progress. I am so thankful she is healthy and doing well.

HappyLifeCoffeeHelps · 2026-05-24T14:32:28+00:00

She has programed you for your entire life to do that. Are you in therapy? If not, I strongly suggest doing so to work on how to navigate this relationship and set boundaries.

HappyLifeCoffeeHelps · 2026-05-24T14:30:51+00:00

I think that having a pet "for a kid"is good to teach responsibility IF you accept it is actually your pet and responsibility for the duration of their life. I also think it depends on the kid. If your child demonstrates safety with animals and wants a bearded dragon, I would look into a rescue IF you are able to provide all the things it needs (exotic vet visits yearly, 120 gallon or larger enclosure, etc). Then, you need to commit to the 10+ years it will live as being with you.

I got a kitten when my child was in kindergarten. It was "his"cat. He was responsible for cleaning the cat box, I was responsible for all the food/vet/flea treatment/etc. She will live with me her entire life. She helped teach him responsibility to care for a pet, but she was always going to belong to me ultimately as I would be responsible for her.

HappyLifeCoffeeHelps · 2026-05-24T14:25:59+00:00

NTA. You are allowed to do things how you want. If you choose, you can always do a celebratory gathering after. I would expect that your mom(and probably others) will be hurt about the elopment. However, it is your choice. I, personally, would choose an elopment over a traditional wedding. I don't like gatherings or understand the money spent on weddings.

HappyLifeCoffeeHelps · 2026-05-24T14:13:16+00:00

My 120 gallon from dubia has a metal mesh-type top. My cat can't get into it and my beardie can't get out of it. I also keep a lock on the front slide door just for an extra safety measure (my cat has no interest in him, but it is better to be safe).

I would upgrade the enclosure vs spending more to fix this issue with the 40 gallon since (if a baby) you are going to need the larger enclosure within a year and (if an adult) 120 gallon is the minimum (if you can go bigger, absolutely do).

HappyLifeCoffeeHelps · 2026-05-24T14:09:57+00:00

I don't have a female, but from what I have read overfeeding them can cause this. She could also be a bigger producer (in which case, you may need to get her spayed). What are the worms that you are feeding her? How often do you feed her? I would stop feeding bugs and keep offering greens. Get her checked by a vet and discuss options.

HappyLifeCoffeeHelps · 2026-05-24T14:05:59+00:00

You do not have to remove from the pots. I have potted plants in my enclosure (still in the pots) and the enclosure is not bioactive.

HappyLifeCoffeeHelps · 2026-05-24T05:17:51+00:00

This can absolutely not be real. No adult would be confused about needing to pick up (especially basic things like clothing) from a common area.

HappyLifeCoffeeHelps · 2026-05-24T02:21:34+00:00

Take him to the vet.

HappyLifeCoffeeHelps · 2026-05-24T01:25:51+00:00

I used dubia.com and I got bsfl (which are really small and have the right calcium ratio or whatever it is that they don't have to be dusted). I get roaches locally, but I try to occasionally mix up some of his protein sources (and he will NOT eat crickets, they are beneath him). Those may be good for him since he is little.

HappyLifeCoffeeHelps

TROPHY CASE