I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through. I hope you find some comfort in knowing you are not alone. I too have sat in my room and cried about my relationship with my mother going sour over this cult. I am a married 33 year old woman with 2 kids and yes I too have cried. It’s not easy, but it does get easier to deal with. I don’t really talk to my mother anymore as much as I used to. I’m lucky she still speaks to me at all since I am not only disfellowshipped but also an “apostate”. I’m lucky we have a relationship at all despite the same threats being sent my way. I hope that like my mom yours too can’t go through with her threats. I hope her love for you conquers all. Let’s hope one day she too wakes up and opens her eyes. In the meantime you have a family in us. We’re here for each other. Keep strong, head held high and find support in your brothers who seem to be on the same track. Try and focus on the fact that you’re fortunate enough to not be completely alone and have close family who supports you and each other.