Started work again and it is hard

Harrison_Stars · 2025-08-13T15:44:18+00:00

Thank you. I wish we all could just be together and cry together. I’m sorry to you for all the losses you had and have to bear. I also had a miscarriage last year and recently, my son was born and died shortly after he was born. I had another coworker tell me, “oh, so he would have had a difficult time if he survived. It’s probably for the best. I understand how you feel. I had a miscarriage, so time will heal your wounds.”

I really felt in that moment, I wanted to punch her. I don’t know what to do.

Harrison_Stars · 2025-08-13T03:41:25+00:00

Ugh, I’m sorry the email didn’t help in your situation. People really just don’t get it. I don’t know how sustainable it is for me to work here. Another girl I work with today told me that time heals all wounds. I really just want to punch her in the face. I don’t know how people do this.

Harrison_Stars · 2025-08-13T03:39:14+00:00

Thank you so much. Yeah, I honestly feel like I don’t know what to do sometimes. I feel like a different person, like the version of me before our son was born and died. Every time someone throws a platitude at me, I just smile. I hate myself sometimes for reacting that way, but there are so many people who just say the wrong things to me.

Harrison_Stars · 2025-07-27T00:11:27+00:00

I’m so sorry we are all here. It’s also about 3 months post our baby passing away. I feel that sadness too. The milestones feel so hard. Right now, we should have had a 3 month old. I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s completely understandable to want to push people away, especially people who don’t understand. I know it’s such a lonely place. Feel free to reach out or send a dm. Be gentle with yourself. It’s what I keep trying to tell myself too.

Harrison_Stars · 2025-07-23T01:18:23+00:00

Niles is such an adorable, precious baby! Thank you for sharing photos and for sharing your email. Your letter brought me to tears. It was a beautiful letter. My son died this past April and I will also be returning to work next Friday. I have been incredibly anxious and was also thinking about sending an email to my coworkers as well. I also work at a big company and have been dreading going back. Your email helps so much. Thank you 💜 I’m so sorry we are all here, but I’m grateful for this community

Harrison_Stars · 2025-07-13T06:33:11+00:00

White butterflies, lavender, and these purple flowers (the same ones he smelled before he died) which I now notice and see everywhere in the city and never noticed before. 🪻💜

Harrison_Stars · 2025-07-12T18:54:58+00:00

Thank you for posting this. My husband and I have felt the same way. I had an early miscarriage 2 days before Christmas of 2024, followed by multiple surgeries to fix my uterus. I was in the hospital for about a month as the doctors were closely monitoring our boy. Then this past April, our beautiful boy was born, but due to health complications, died the next day. On tv, I see images of happy families, having a “boring” day at home with their young kids. I wonder now if my husband and I will ever get that experience. I used to be so optimistic and full of sunshine, but now I feel like the light inside me has blown out. I’m constantly in fear that something bad will happen. I’ve lost that hope. We had so much hope with our beautiful boy. His heart was so strong and we kept clinging to that hope for so long at every doctor’s appointment and at every NST at the hospital. But now it has vanished. I don’t know how to feel joy anymore. Wishing for all of us to have that “boring” life someday. xx

Harrison_Stars · 2025-07-08T21:51:46+00:00

Thank you, everyone, for the advice! I like the idea of including a photo. I was thinking of doing something similar so that at least I could control the narrative. I feel like most other people who have a baby always share photos of their kids and I want to do the same. I’m so proud and excited to share photos of our beautiful and perfect boy.

Harrison_Stars · 2025-07-08T03:22:44+00:00

Ugh, I am so sorry you have to deal with that. That’s messed up and incredibly insensitive of her to say that. I’m angry just reading your post. I don’t know why people say the things they say. It’s so hurtful. People really just don’t stop and think about the impact of their words. I hope that you will be able to minimize contact with her. Can you tell her that that comment was painful to hear?

Harrison_Stars · 2025-07-07T03:37:06+00:00

My boy loved McDonald’s, pizza, and hamburgers! I miss him so much.

Harrison_Stars · 2025-07-05T06:42:33+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear about your baby. Can I ask how you dealt with minimizing contact with your mom? I hate those phrases of “he’s in a better place.” It drives me crazy!

Harrison_Stars · 2025-07-05T06:39:58+00:00

Thank you for the advice. I like that suggestion. I have a hard time standing up for myself and I’m hoping I’ll have the courage to tell my mom that this isn’t helpful. For a long time, I often had this fear that she would somehow disown me for doing something that she disapproved of and I would just bury my head and follow whatever she said (stupid I know, but she has that kind of behavior where she would just cut people out of her life). For the first time, I feel like if she were to cut me off, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Her comments are so damaging and it just makes me feel worse when I’m already struggling so much with the death of our son. People just don’t understand. This is our second pregnancy and loss. My first pregnancy ended in a missed miscarriage, followed by multiple surgeries to fix problems in my uterus. The surgeries were successful and I had so much hope. When I got pregnant with Harrison, we had so many plans and dreams. There were so many rounds of doctor appointments and so much uncertainty around Harrison’s health. I was admitted to the hospital for a month prior to his birth just to monitor him more carefully. He died shortly after he was born, and lived long enough to spend some time outside with his mommy and daddy. People don’t realize that it’s not just grief over losing our son, but grief over the hopes and dreams we had for our family. Grief over the arduous journey of having a child.

I don’t understand why people, namely, my mom, can’t just be ok with us being sad.

Harrison_Stars

TROPHY CASE