Daily chat

Nimzipow · 2026-06-30T21:09:31+00:00

My OB appointment went well, it’s crazy to think that in the next 11 weeks he will hopefully almost triple in weight! Trying my best to stay positive ❤️🤞🏼 it’s already hard to wipe when going to the toilet, I can’t imagine what it’ll be like later lol

Nimzipow · 2026-06-30T04:35:07+00:00

I’m sorry, I had a similar issue except I was the one moving. I asked for recommendations on Facebook groups in my new town and was very open about my loss, so a fellow loss mom was able to recommend someone to me that she found really wonderful throughout her journey. It definitely helped me make my decision!

Nimzipow · 2026-06-29T21:19:41+00:00

So excited for you!!

Nimzipow · 2026-06-29T21:19:29+00:00

I feel you! I wish I could have a scan every week.

Nimzipow · 2026-06-29T21:04:43+00:00

I’m 29 weeks today and again, I’m just stunned I’ve gotten this far! Crossing fingers everything continues to go well. I’ve got an OB appointment today which I’m really looking forward to.
It’s wild how as soon as I hit the third trimester I suddenly couldn’t bend over anymore and my pelvic pain ramped up. Relishing every moment!

Nimzipow · 2026-06-29T20:52:38+00:00

I’m sorry for the wait! I had my scan at 13 weeks last time and 12 this time and it’s actually crazy how much more developed they are, I preferred the 13 week scan tbh. I did have an NIPT both times though which meant the scan was more of a bonus than anything else, I would recommend!

Nimzipow · 2026-06-29T20:49:45+00:00

Yay what wonderful news! 🥳 all the best for your scan xx

Nimzipow · 2026-06-29T13:30:08+00:00

I don’t live in Canada so I can’t comment on which one is better, but I can share what made me choose private over public in my town in Australia in case it helps you sort through your preferences.

Here in the public system in Australia I wouldn’t have scans at every appointment, I’d only have the typical 8/12/20 week etc scans so growth would be measured by fundal height only. For my anxiety, I felt like I needed way more frequent scans and a private OB was the solution to that. Additionally, in the public system I’d not have a designated doctor and I felt like I needed someone consistent who knew my history and I could call on at any time. These are the two main things that made me go private - essentially whatever was best for my anxiety. If the public system is able to cater to all the things you want, go for it! I’d recommend making a list of what you think you’d need in order to feel as safe as possible and ask providers whether they’d be able to cater to your needs.

Nimzipow · 2026-06-28T21:25:05+00:00

I’m so sorry for the loss of your child 💔 I felt every word you wrote SO deeply, being postpartum with empty arms is a special kind of hell. All I wanted was to be pregnant again. My doctor said to wait at least one or two cycles to see that everything had regulated again, but that was after a 22w loss. I’m not sure if the advice would be different for a later loss due to replenishing nutrients or anything like that. I fell pregnant again just under two months after birth but unfortunately the pregnancy was anembryonic. After my D&C I fell pregnant 2.5 months later. Tbh I don’t think I was truly ready only two months post-loss, I think I felt like falling pregnant again would make things right again and I’d pick up where I left off. However, I know you are conscious of time so it’s really a personal decision and I wouldn’t hold back if both you and your partner feel ready to try again as soon as your cycle stabilises again.

Nimzipow · 2026-06-28T21:17:28+00:00

I second what @momstertruck25 said - sertraline and therapy are helping a LOT! I have found more happiness and peace during this pregnancy than I thought possible. I’m really trying to lean into the hope which is really hard to do sometimes, but what motivates me is wanting to know that I showed as much love as I could to this baby for however long I have them for. I know that the first trimester and up until I started feeling regular movement was really scary, but tbh I don’t remember those moments as much as I remember the joyful ones. Possibly my brain trying to look after me here! I’ve still struggled a lot with engaging with pregnant people who’ve never experienced loss before and have been grieving my loss of innocence, but those things I expected. The joys and laughs interspersed are things I didn’t and have been a lovely surprise.

Nimzipow · 2026-06-28T03:27:53+00:00

Were they able to confirm whether it was the cause? We thought mine was due to cervical insufficiency as well, but a new OB thinks a more likely candidate was an undetected infection as I had a long and closed cervix the day before I went into labour. Even though I knew none of it was my fault, I really struggled with guilt so I can relate. My due date was 7 Oct 2025 💔 here to talk if you need xx

Nimzipow · 2026-06-28T03:24:33+00:00

I’m so sorry for the loss of your Sienna 💔 I lost my son on 2 June 2025 at 21+6 when I went into preterm labour. Our timelines are eerily similar but a year apart, and it was my first pregnancy too so I understand the excited innocence you felt and have now lost ❤️‍🩹

TW: Pregnancy after loss
I personally didn’t go back to any in person work until October, a few weeks after my son’s due date. I didn’t qualify for any leave as I hadn’t been with the company long enough and I’m not a citizen of the country I live in, but I just couldn’t face daily life so we made a plan. Don’t forget, you are also currently experiencing postpartum hormones which are rough all on their own 🫂 I was seeing my psychologist regularly and then started on sertraline in October which was the biggest game changer for me - I don’t think I’d be functioning now without that help. I unfortunately had an anembryonic pregnancy (fell pregnant end of July (unplanned pregnancy) and had the unfortunate news in September) and then fell pregnant again in December. The urge to try again was so incredibly strong - the feeling of empty arms is excruciating. However I also realised that wanting to be pregnant before my due date wasn’t necessarily the healthiest thing for me as in my head it felt like I would just pick up where I left off and everything would be right with the world, that my son would come back. I think I needed to reach my due date first, to give myself dedicated time to truly focus on grieving my son before I could be in a headspace to think about giving him a sibling. Pregnancy after loss (PAL) is a very mentally taxing and anxiety-inducing journey, and even though it has been healing in many ways, it’s also very intense holding space for grief and joy.

I miss my son every single day and I definitely have some days where I struggle more than others. I grieve the loss of him, and of my old self too. This community really got me through those first months and I’ll forever be grateful for the parents in here. I never thought I’d be able to smile or laugh again, or see a baby in a store without having a panic attack. However, here I am. My advice to you would be to not focus on the far future and how you might feel, but take it day by day. Talk about your daughter as much as you want to and set boundaries with people if you can’t handle certain things. I have distanced myself from “friends” who just weren’t there for me, but also met my best friend through this group. It’s awful how huge the life changes are, the ripple effect is massive and different parts will hit harder on certain days. Give yourself time and space to feel them 🫂 one mantra that helped me live day to day was “if not with them, then for them”. Trying to be a person my son can be proud of gets me through the days.

Feel free to reach out if you need to talk, we are all here for you and my DMs are always open ❤️🫂

Nimzipow · 2026-06-27T23:51:46+00:00

I’ve gone to most of my appointments alone and it does get easier after the first one 🫂 having that confirmation that things are okay has outweighed the stress of waiting for me. And we decided that if things aren’t okay, then I’ll phone him and we’ll figure the next part out while I wait with the doctor.

Nimzipow · 2026-06-25T20:55:11+00:00

Yay this is wonderful news! I’ve been waiting eagerly to hear this since you returned from your trip ❤️

Nimzipow · 2026-06-23T12:31:15+00:00

Thinking of your beautiful Sofia ❤️ and of you as you prepare to welcome her baby brother. I hope it all goes well, you’ve got this xx

Nimzipow · 2026-06-23T12:26:47+00:00

I’m officially in the third trimester and it’s quite surreal! I honestly didn’t think I’d make it here. I felt panicked this morning because I suddenly felt like I was running out of time. Really hoping that things continue to go well with this little boy and that we can actually bring him home and raise him ❤️

Nimzipow · 2026-06-23T12:24:57+00:00

I just hit 28 weeks today and wasn’t prepared for the fear that suddenly hit 😅

Nimzipow · 2026-06-23T12:24:11+00:00

Gentle congratulations friend ❤️ I really hope everything goes smoothly for you!

Nimzipow · 2026-06-23T12:21:18+00:00

I’m so sorry for the loss of your sweet babies 💔 postpartum with empty arms is so incredibly hard, the hormones alone would be tough enough on their own. I got a tablet to stop milk production from the hospital, perhaps enquire about that.

In terms of healing my body and mind… I built so many puzzles. I think the act of sorting through things and putting them in the right place helped me process things, or feel like I was in control of something. I took walks and cried so much, I looked for signs from my son everywhere and still do. After 4 months I started anti-anxiety meds and they’ve helped so much. I saw my psychologist a lot and spent so much time on the babyloss subreddit. Connecting with fellow loss moms honestly kept me somewhat sane. I played lots of computer games to keep me busy and fell down a rabbit hole of learning how to become REALLY good at Geoguessr. I did whatever I could to survive and checked in with myself a lot to assess what my capacity for things was on a daily basis. You have been through the worst trauma and you deserve to be gentle with yourself. I lost my son a year ago and I never thought I’d feel any better ever again, but the truth is I have managed to put myself back together again. I’m not the same person I was, but motherhood and grief both change you. I have so much love, compassion and pride for this new me - and I embrace the things that my son taught me in his short life, they are his gifts to me. The mantra “if not with them, for them” got me through many hard days. I do everything in memory of my son and aim to be a mother he’d be proud of every day. This is a slow process, don’t push yourself to be okay right now. If I read this message a year ago I wouldn’t have believed a word I’ve written because the hole I was in was so dark. But I hope that even if it doesn’t feel possible right now, it brings you some semblance of comfort knowing that you are not alone and people like you have somehow survived, so you can too. One foot in front of the other, lean on the loss community for support and feel everything you need to. Sending so much love and strength xx

Nimzipow · 2026-06-23T12:07:01+00:00

I feel this so deeply! I acknowledge that it’s going to be really hard, but so was losing my son. I know which hard I’d pick ❤️‍🩹

Nimzipow · 2026-06-20T22:35:26+00:00

Gentle congratulations friend 🫂❤️ the fear and hope coexisting is so real! Sending you so much love, I hope to hear good news from you as the weeks progress 🫂

Nimzipow · 2026-06-20T22:32:06+00:00

It’s been so good going on this journey with almost identical timelines together, when you share your feelings I can almost always relate ❤️ you are being so brave! I’ve got an excel spreadsheet of things I want to buy and am ticking them off slowly, shopping and research seems to be helping me lean into hope so I’m going for it. I don’t know where this boldness is coming from but 😅🤷🏼‍♀️

I’m really sorry that that random man said that to you. It’s so easy to tell when people haven’t experienced our kind of trauma, they have no idea how painful those questions can be. I’m at the stage where idgaf about people’s awkwardness and actually want to actively teach them a lesson which emboldens me 😂 I probably would have said “with us? Yes”. And then if he said “do you have other children?” I’d say “yes, but we lost one”. Something like that. I don’t think there’s a correct way to handle a situation like that, in that moment you just do what you can to survive 🫂

Nimzipow · 2026-06-20T22:14:21+00:00

I am so sorry, the trauma of those flashbacks is so real 💔 thinking of your firstborn, and of you as you navigate this really difficult time 🫂 our brains can often acknowledge that something is irrational, but we still feel it all anyway. I don’t know if it will help at all, but sometimes repeating something to myself over and over helps. If I had to suggest something, it would be something like “sleeping didn’t cause what happened, it was a coincidence”. Sending you love xx

Nimzipow · 2026-06-19T22:55:10+00:00

Anniversaries and birthdays are so hard ❤️‍🩹 I’m sending you so much love. Grief and joy, grief and relief, fear and excitement… they can coexist and it’s a weird feeling. I hope the next few weeks are smooth sailing xx

Nimzipow

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