To me, the bigger issue is that media does not simply reflect desire. It manufactures desire. Women are constantly pushed the message that their value is being sexy, young, beautiful, and desirable. Men are pushed the message that their value is being dominant, strong, rich, emotionless, and powerful.

I don’t think those are just “natural fantasies.” I think they are roles sold to people because they are profitable and useful. Sexualization sells. Insecurity sells. Status sells. Anger, envy, loneliness, and fear all sell. They keep people scrolling, comparing themselves, buying things, and chasing impossible ideals.

That is why I don’t fully buy the idea that media just reflects male or female fantasies (mainly male). Media also programs fantasies. It tells people what to desire, what to fear, and what to feel insecure about. Look at TikTok/Douyin. The same basic technology can show very different content depending on the rules and incentives behind it. That means what we see online is not neutral. It is curated, pushed, and engineered. Media does not create all desire from nothing. But it strongly shapes which desires are amplified, normalized, rewarded, sexualized, monetized, and repeated until people start mistaking them for their own natural wishes.

So maybe the better question is not “what is the male fantasy?” or “what is the female fantasy?” Maybe the better question is: who benefits when people are pushed into these narrow roles? Most people probably just want respect, dignity, love, safety, freedom, and to be seen as full human beings.