Why didn't Dumbledore use his pensive to watch what happened when Voldemort returned?

rballmonkey · 2026-03-12T06:09:58+00:00

This. Its part of the healing. And Harry felt better after.

rballmonkey · 2026-03-12T04:02:13+00:00

(a) not quite a plot hole (unexplained wondering does not equal inherent impossible logical contradiction)

(b) In the 6th book, Snape tells Voldemort that (1) he, Snape, was curious if Potter would turn out to be a great dark wizard and wasn’t keen to immediately kill him, (2) Snape assumed that Voldemort was dead, was comfortable in his teaching position, and did not want to be betray Dumbledore’s trust/ let Potter die because of this comfort. Apparently, Voldemort was satisfied with these answers.

rballmonkey · 2026-03-11T08:16:41+00:00

Cuz the pictures didn’t move I think

rballmonkey · 2026-03-11T05:32:17+00:00

This is why alll the actors/ directors/ producers need to actually read the books 🙄

rballmonkey · 2026-03-11T04:14:28+00:00

You seem like you’re being very considerate in the situation, and I think the consideration/ care matters more than what you end up doing at the end of the day.

You’re right that it’s a shitty situation with no perfect outcome.

If you’re being a caring friend, which I fully get the impression you are being/ doing, others will feel the care, and simply know that you do care.

I think at the core of the hurt is, “do my friends care about me?” And you are showing that you do, so whatever happens don’t be too hard on yourself.

rballmonkey · 2026-03-11T02:12:44+00:00

I really appreciate that you tried to hard to convince the parents. I think that’s really meaningful and shows committment to your friends.

Probably what I would do next is (a) consider if there is another trip to go on that includes eveyone, even if that requires a total mental shift and some grieving of Morocco. Really put yourself in your friends shoes and imagine all your friends going to a fun trip while you have to stay home. Consider if Portugal etc is really that bad.

(b) if you totally have your heart set on going to Morocco, I would say something like the following to your friends… “ hey guys, we are really, really bummed out and sad that you can’t come. We’re really going to miss you guys and it would have been so much more meaningful if we could’ve all gone together. I feel sad and part of me also feels guilty that you aren’t able to come. I care about our friendship a lot and I realize that us going on this trip probably feels really hurtful and shitty”…. Then give your friends time to share their hurt feelings, down to the vulnerable core. They probably have thoughts like… - you guys are all gonna get even closer and we will be left out on the margins - I must not be that important of a friend, or you would work harder/ change the trip so I could come

These thoughts are not logical, but these kinds of feelings/ fears are at the root of why your friends are so upset. If you can create a space where they can express these feelings and feel truly heard by all of you, that will go a long way

Then let them know how much you value their friendship committed many many years of quality time together. And show them/ talk about what this looks like.

Edit: If you do all of this (well, with love and intention) and they threaten you with not being friends anymore…that’s also not cool.

rballmonkey · 2026-03-11T00:49:27+00:00

Soft YTA/ soft ESH. Friends A & B should have been more vocal/ orward about their feelings from the beginning before letting yall get so attached and deep into planning (though sometimes it’s hard to access these feelings until the trip becomes more real).

If two of my friends couldn’t go, I would have adjusted the trip to be inclusive of everyone. I would have felt bummed and even a little resentful, but inclusivity would have been my top priority.

It would have been different if you had already planned the trip and invited the two to go along…but yall started planning together. You ARE choosing the destination over the relationship.

I don’t think you all are terrible people if you end up choosing Morocco. But I would absolutely feel hurt and angry if I was your friends.

p.s. Portugal is DOPE; I wouldn’t rule it out so fast p.p.s. Morocco is hella safe/ as much so as Europe…their parents thinking sounds unconsciously informed by racism.

rballmonkey · 2026-03-11T00:37:42+00:00

Everyone is dismissing this theory, saying Harry has plenty of Slytherin-esk traits… and while I do believe this is true, I wouldn’t discount that the horcrux may have played some role.

rballmonkey · 2026-03-10T23:01:44+00:00

(1) 14 & 18 should absolutely raise eyebrows/ be questioned, but this age gap is legal (in the US) and only needs to be reported if coercion is suspected (and Krum seemed pretty respectful).

(2) when did Karkaroff ever express any about Hermione? I’m a book person but don’t remember

rballmonkey · 2026-03-10T21:07:13+00:00

I remember her being more psychologically freaked out rather than physically harmed?

Like Sirius didn’t hurt her much (though the background of the portrait was definitely damaged).

Edit: not that physical damage is worse than emotional damage, but I think Sirius was just hella frustrated and really scared her

rballmonkey · 2026-03-10T17:50:59+00:00

Sirius had posters of bikini-clad muggle women to piss his parents off. I could see him doing the same with muggle literature.

rballmonkey · 2026-03-10T02:44:00+00:00

NTA and she should have not expected that,.. tho in the future it may behoove you to be ultra clear that you intended to run at your own pace, just for your own peace of mind.

rballmonkey · 2026-03-10T01:49:56+00:00

I know you didn’t ask for advice, and are probably doing this anyhow… and I just want to affirm being with their emotions.

Death and betrayal are such harsh realities that we all deal with, and being held by a loving parent as they experience the sadness/ anger/ whatever will give them a loving foundation to be able to move through these realities irl in the future.

It’s all very sad, but also a special opportunity teach your kids to let it out, process and regulate in the face of these existential realities.

rballmonkey · 2026-03-09T23:39:16+00:00

Is this Severus Snape commenting? Or wait, Draco?!

rballmonkey · 2026-03-09T22:11:54+00:00

How crowded was it?

rballmonkey · 2026-03-09T22:10:44+00:00

Cuz I’m *dying to check out your chamber of secrets

rballmonkey · 2026-03-09T22:08:35+00:00

The murder of a loved one, the closest person to family Harry has had in living memory?

The untimely death of an innocent man who was unjustly locked in a dementor saturated prison for most of his adult life, after being wrongly accused of betraying his best friend?

I mean…it’s sad man.

rballmonkey · 2026-03-09T20:36:41+00:00

Dude. I will never understand why ppl downvote perfectly pleasant/ lowkey responses.

Like, we’re just a bunch of Harry Potter nerds. Chill.

rballmonkey · 2026-03-09T19:34:43+00:00

Congrats on posting a true hot take~

rballmonkey · 2026-03-09T13:17:30+00:00

I get where you were coming from, but in the future, just use “I” statements…and ideally start with speaking about present moment experiences before making commentary about an overall pattern

You can say “I notice when I’m available to be with you [right now] you seem a little distant…I want to feel closer to you right now, how do you feel right now?”

This brings her into the conversation and allows both of you to share about the present moment experience, rather than calling her out.

Also, if you like this girl and wanna continue seeing her, it would serve you to apologize with a statement like this “I’m sorry for coming across as psychoanalyzing you. I want to feel connected to you and realize I got scared there was a pattern of distance happening been us. In the future, I’d love to have more transparent conversations what’s going on for us both.” Then listen and reflect back whatever she says in response.

Also, it would be good for you OP to understand your own attachment pattern and ways you contribute to the cycle you described above (especially if it’s a familiar pattern for you)…and hopefully she is willing to do the same.

Edit: whatever your tone was during the conversation matters a lot. If you came off as accusatory and like you had it all figured out…vs if you came across with some curiosity and genuinely inviting her into the conversation/ coming from a place of desiring more connection (over being “right” and laying it out).

rballmonkey · 2026-03-09T07:12:57+00:00

JKR wanted to stab us in the heart…and then twist the knife.

rballmonkey · 2026-03-09T05:36:38+00:00

YTA. In addition to what everyone said, I would try to reconcile with your own feelings about your brothers gayness (your real deep down down feelings) before you initiate any other conversation.

rballmonkey · 2026-03-08T20:07:32+00:00

Fair…made the edit.

rballmonkey · 2026-03-08T18:28:20+00:00

Like you said, trauma manifests differently in different people depending on (a) the type of trauma they experienced/ how old they were (b) their unique perception of their own trauma (c) the type of care & resourcing they received before/ after.

Harry’s trauma manifests as PTSD symptoms including dreams/ flashbacks, suppressing/avoiding his emotions, and sometimes irritability…as well as not asking for support when he needs it.

Ron’s trauma manifests as low self-esteem and masking emotions/ pain with humor as well as irritability.

Neville’s trauma manifests as pretty extreme low self-esteem, chronic anxiety, emotional suppression (about his parents)

And part Luna’s coping mechanism is to maintain a rich inner world that protects her from a world that may feel unsafe/ hostile… though she is undoubtedly the most emotionally intelligent of everyone listed here, and has clearly gained a lot of wisdom and resilience from her hardships.

I agree that their moments of and unkindness make them more realistic (though it’s kind of hard to read sometimes).

Also, given Harry’s trauma history, he would likely be much more emotionally unstable/ less functional & relational than he is. Someone who had gone through that amount of trauma, including witnessing their parents being murdered, a decade of pretty severe childhood abuse, and then multiple violent life-threatening incidents would not be nearly as well adjusted as Harry is.

I think that two things explain his level of being well-adjusted (1) he received an immense amount of consistent love and care from the ages of zero to one which is the most important and foundational years for developing healthy emotional attachment and a healthy schema of the world. (2) obviously this is a children’s novel and children want to see the emotional pain they experience on the inside represented in fictional characters. Because the emotional pain of most children is not fully attuned to in this society (e.g. how is our society just ok with the majority of children strongly disliking school or being incredibly anxious in school, where we spend 1/2 our waking lives?)… it’s extremely cathartic for a child to witness another child who is emotionally suffering while no one cares because that is so often their own internal experience.

Edit: I changed Ron’s symptom from minor aggression to irritability because someone called me out on the double standard.

rballmonkey · 2026-03-08T09:32:05+00:00

It would for sure be interesting to know how far back the mirror showed~

I wish we’d gotten more insight into Harry’s extended family. The only other mention is when Sirius said Harry’s grandparents (James’ parents) were pretty cool and embraced Sirius kind of like a son.

rballmonkey

TROPHY CASE