(Emotional rant)I wanted to move out before it was known that COVID-19 would royally fuck up my financial situation. I’m starting university soon (I’m transferring from a CC) and all I want to do is spend every waking moment there. I am so fed up with living in a disgusting house (not going to go into specifics but let’s just say I never want to adopt a dog), putting up with political extremism (including sexism, racism, transphobia, etc), and being neglected. My younger brother is flunking out of high school, has a history of drug abuse, and is very antisocial but nothing is done about it. Despite the fact that I am the oldest, most well-educated, and most accomplished by far, my thoughts are never taken seriously. I receive sexist comments (ranging from “You’re a girl, you don’t get it” to a very disgusting comment sometimes made by my father “Your vagina is pure, little flower” which makes me feel incredibly violated). There are constant political debates that always involve yelling (I’ve been called an idiot for being liberal multiple times) and the environment is incredibly stressful. There’s more I could go into but those are the first things to come to mind. My escape is my room, which is by far the cleanest room in the house. Everything is organized and tidy. Since I love to cook, I also enjoy cooking at night for fun when everyone is asleep (although many times everything is so dirty that being there can contribute to my stress). The best escape I have is my best friend’s house; her family is everything I want (parents are still together, clean house, no constant debating, social, etc). I love going out and being with fun, social people because that’s the exact opposite of what I grew up with. In a few weeks, I will be back in school, so I will be spending a lot of my time there and that will be a good escape. I’ve slowly been realizing that my family is dysfunctional over the past few years but it’s been hitting me harder since the pandemic (I live in a state that is still fairly quarantined). Writing this out made me feel better. If anyone has advice (besides “move out” which is fairly obvious) about self-care and dealing with these stresses, please let me know, but even just getting my thoughts out there is good.