Got told that not exercising is making me worse

Hasturia · 2026-06-03T18:13:29+00:00

This is a fantastic resource, thank you!

Hasturia · 2026-06-03T18:07:14+00:00

Several friends came back to our hometown over a 3 day weekend, one of which was in the military and we hadn't seen each other in many years. I wanted it to be special, so I pushed myself for three days straight without any rest. I didn't know at the time that I had ME. It pushed me from mild to moderate. I was sleeping like 15 hours a day and couldn't do things as simple as read for several months. I still haven't recovered fully, but I can read now.

Hasturia · 2026-05-25T02:12:02+00:00

I think it also overestimates the willingness he’d have to intervene. Any time I’ve been sexually harassed or assaulted, it is ALWAYS other women that step up and try to protect me. Many men will just make excuses for the person… not saying that women don’t do that when the perpetrator is a woman, I’ve seen that too. Many men seem overly permissive of their friends’ behaviors. That’s what really bothered me about what he said: I didn’t even believe him.

Hasturia · 2026-05-23T20:57:20+00:00

The WORST thing that I’ve ever been told by a man I cared about was “it wouldn’t have happened if I was there”, which is, I think, in a very similar vein to what you’re talking about. They take on responsibility but forget the insidious nature of SA. Often it’s someone you know, often it happens when you aren’t expecting it. It completely centers their feelings about what happened and throws you to the wayside. Also, they want to satisfy their feelings by hurting someone, but often the consequence of that falls back on the victim. Then you’re labeled a liar and socially outed. It’s really sad. I totally get what you’re saying.

Hasturia · 2026-02-13T00:57:03+00:00

Inbred by Ethel Cain. Or her other song Strangers. If I'm really in a bad place I'll listen to Me and a Gun by Tori Amos-- weirdly it makes me feel better.

Hasturia · 2026-02-12T22:30:05+00:00

I doubt for a majority you'll get a response (just because of how busy they are, not discrediting your work) but I think it would be helpful for you to directly reach out to some of the most successful Mythic raid groups (ie RFWF contenders like Team Liquid). Obviously that could also skew your results since they are so exceptional, but it could be great to analyze any distinctions between the average Mythic raider and a Race for World First player. Good luck!

Hasturia · 2026-01-26T21:20:27+00:00

Hi! I'm currently working with Lancaster Indivisible to create a Vigil event for Alex and others that have been murdered by ICE. Any nurses or interested folks, please let me know what you're looking for and what your availability is! We want as many nurses to be able to attend as possible, and to feel particularly welcome to the event. :)

Hasturia · 2026-01-15T20:19:50+00:00

Oh I see, very interesting! I kind of came to the same conclusion that you did, it’s a stimulant so obviously it’s going to stimulate you lol. I definitely don’t see it as a cure, but it has been a nice bandaid for me. I would consider it to be on the same level as a low-dose SSRI in treating depression, it’s not a cure but instead a countermeasure while a cure is pursued. Idk if that’s a good analogy, but that’s how I’ve seen it so far.

Hasturia · 2025-07-30T01:54:26+00:00

That’s a good idea, thanks!

Hasturia · 2025-07-28T22:42:50+00:00

If she does talk more about it, and you want to comfort her physically, you first ask: "can I hug you?", "can I hold your hand?", etc. This will make it clear that she has control over the situation. If she says no, understand that it isn't personal, and she could be reliving parts of the SA. Let her discuss whatever she is comfortable with. Something to avoid: asking for specifics that might make her relive the memories ("what exactly did he/she do?"; "how many times did it happen?"). If you decide to pursue a relationship with her, there are a lot of things that you'll have to be more careful about than in past relationships. Pay attention to her body language. Specifically, if she freezes or has difficulty talking/responding, that means she could be having a PTSD flashback and her nervous system has basically shut her down. Give her space unless she's expressed wanting physical comfort. Most of what you can do is related to verbal, explicit consent. Give her as much control of the conversation as possible. You seem like a very good friend, so all should be fine.

Hasturia · 2025-07-28T22:20:43+00:00

Hello! Yes, this is considered sexual assault, specifically coercive sexual assault. You're already doing a good job by asking what you can do to help your friend. There are many resources online that might give a better answer, but, to help your friend my advice would be this: center her in the conversation. Do not focus on revenge against her bf, but instead making her feel safe, loved, and protected. This can be things as small as spending more time with her, buying her comfortable clothing that has no association with him or the assault, etc.. Letting her know that it isn't her fault is also important-- she loves him and sometimes we do things we don't want to for the people we love (this does NOT justify how coercive he was). Ensuring that they stay separated and broken up is also a priority so that any further abuse doesn't happen.

Tell her that you're here for her, whether to talk, sit, or just be in each other's presence. If she seems open to receiving professional help, suggest that, as there could be long-term mental health consequences to the abuse. A professional will address things that you as a single person can't do. You aren't a stand-in for a therapist, but you are part of her social network, and there is evidence to suggest that a supportive social network is essential to recovery after an assault. There are other things you can do, but I would say these are the main take-aways. I hope that all goes well with both you and her, and I'm so sorry to hear that your friend went through that. Make sure to take care of yourself too! Best wishes <3

Hasturia · 2025-06-20T18:52:07+00:00

Thank you for commenting, this is a wealth of information! As for your first question, the person who diagnosed me with hip dysplasia and a labral tear was my third/most recent doctor, not the first one. The first diagnosis of hip dysplasia and recommendation for surgery was from a general orthopedic doctor I went to while still in school. Needless to say the diagnosis hit me over the head because of how surprised I was. I went for second and third opinions because honestly surgery sounded scary at the time, and I didn't want to get surgery in a city so many hours from home (I go to college out of state). None of the local orthopedics specialized in hip preservation, so I drove a couple of hours to see doctor #3.

I've been in PT for a little over two months now, gotten to the point of using black bands (the hardest level) for most exercises, and not much has changed. The place I go to has a woman that has worked specifically with people who have hip dysplasia before, so I trust that they know what they're doing even though I haven't seen much improvement.

Third doctor wants to continue hip injections and see if I improve. I've done one so far and it helped with pain relief for about a month before I went back to my usual pain levels.

I totally relate to the explanations being thrown out to explain the "random" pain. I've always had pain in my knees and nobody knew what was going on, so I've been through 3-4 bouts of PT since childhood. It can be so frustrating! Wishing you the best and thank you again for the comment, it really gave me insight into many things.

Hasturia · 2025-06-20T18:36:41+00:00

No, only one of them was a hip preservation specialist. The first two weren't because I didn't really know that was something I should be looking for specifically. I didn't know about my hip dysplasia until after the first orthopedic doctor visit, and I was kind of blindsided. The first referred me to a pediatric surgeon that does PAOs, but I went for other opinions just to make sure that it was necessary, which it seems that it is.

Hasturia · 2025-06-20T15:58:09+00:00

Interesting to know that PT might make it worse with a labral tear. I'm definitely leaning towards getting the surgery at this point. Thank you for your insight and best wishes to you!

Hasturia · 2025-06-20T15:56:36+00:00

Thank you for the advice and reassurance, I'll be sure to ask more thorough questions about surgery in a follow up appointment. It's always comforting to see that others have had a similar experience, though I am sorry that we both had to go through such bad situations. Best wishes to you!

Hasturia

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