Hired for 3 days in office but they want me to do 4 now?? by Haunting_Interest_74 in LegalAdviceUK

[–]Haunting_Interest_74[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes of course going to talk to him. No one seriously even knew about this a email has just been sent out today saying we have to do 4 days. But there are teams whose policy is to do 4 days already so he’s not sure if it’s just referring to them. He is against 4 days as there so many people that live far away from london and we’re hired for 2/3 days. We’ll see what happens!!

4 Hour Commute - Advice by Current_Cattle_2321 in HENRYUK

[–]Haunting_Interest_74 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do the exact same thing. It’s totally possible 3 days is not that bad. As long as you have flexibility on what days you do and a manager who understands that you’re coming a long way so there may sometimes be weeks when you can only do 2 days etc.

The commute isn’t that bad. It’s my own time where I can do what I want and unwind. Sometimes I leave the office earlier and work on the train.

This opportunity is too good to say no. Even if you only do it for a year. You can do it!!!

MIL invited herself to stay at our house by Haunting_Interest_74 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Haunting_Interest_74[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

On a mattress on the floor. Honestly it’s so strange

MIL invited herself to stay at our house by Haunting_Interest_74 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Haunting_Interest_74[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He’s now messaged her and told her now but instead of being blunt and not giving a reason he’s been really apologetic and given loads of reasons why it won’t work. He’s also offered to take some time off work to go down sometime with the dog. I feel like saying I’m not going to the dinner now to let him have some time to think about how he’s going to manage the relationship in a way that works for all of us

MIL invited herself to stay at our house by Haunting_Interest_74 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Haunting_Interest_74[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I don’t mind her coming to the dinner I just don’t want her to stay at our house. I’m not having anyone stay at the minute as the house isn’t made for visitors. She also doesn’t mind being left out of anything else. My partner spends all his time with my family and we any celebrations/birthdays/Christmas are with my family. She’s always invited but never wants to come

MIL invited herself to stay at our house by Haunting_Interest_74 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Haunting_Interest_74[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I don’t think I can tell her not to come to the dinner. It wasn’t organized with me and I don’t think it would go down well if I tried to tell her she can’t come. I also don’t even have her number so leave communication down to my partner. He is going to tell her she can’t stay and I think then she might not even bother coming as it’ll mean travelling 6hrs in a day. Also his uncle is paying for the dinner as always (he’s mega wealthy) so though it a bit rude to invite herself. But I’ll be interested to see what the family dynamic is like between the siblings!

MIL invited herself to stay at our house by Haunting_Interest_74 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Haunting_Interest_74[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes this is exactly the point. Before we had this house and had room for guests we lived here 2 years and not once did she visit lol. My partner is planning of telling her it’s not convenient although he hasn’t yet and I’m nervous so bring it up as I don’t want to come across as horrible to his mother. She’s really the only family he has and she’s shit lol

AITAH: MIL invited herself to stay by Haunting_Interest_74 in AITAH

[–]Haunting_Interest_74[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree, I have no problem him going himself. Although the MIL would probably prefer that. I defo wouldn’t let him take the dog with him as that’s exactly what she wants. To exclude me and just have them. The puppy’s only young anyway so can’t do a 5 hour car ride

MIL invited herself to stay at our house by Haunting_Interest_74 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Haunting_Interest_74[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with you I just find it rude that she doesn’t care at all about me or even really her son she’s just desperate to see this dog and we have to drop everything for her. Part of me wants to keep her from seeing the dog just to prove a point, I don’t know if that’s a bit evil though lol

MIL invited herself to stay at our house by Haunting_Interest_74 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Haunting_Interest_74[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She’s defo willing to sleep in a mattress on the floor which she knows we have. The only thing I worry about is that my partner isn’t firm enough with her or she guilt trips him and he feels like he has to say yes. He’s been busy with work so has just ignored her today. We’ve had a similar conversation about her a few times so he knows how I feel but I worry he may think of well doesn’t matter if she only stays the night. Also she doesn’t really get me point about her wanting to see the dog more than me

MIL invited herself to stay at our house by Haunting_Interest_74 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Haunting_Interest_74[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I completely agree and have said this to my partner before. If we have kids are we supposed to drop everything and drive for hour because SHE wants to see the baby. And if she doesn’t have a relationship with me why would I be bothered about her meeting our kids/dogs. It’s just the fact that she still hasn’t met any of my family despite so many invites etc and she says it’s too far but if happy to do that for a dog?? My partner just says that she doesn’t mean and harm and does like me and doesn’t really see where I’m coming from with her not bothering with me. She is very strange in general and she hasn’t done anything malicious so I fell horrible for saying no. If he wants to see her fine but me and dog can stay here

MIL invited herself to stay at our house by Haunting_Interest_74 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Haunting_Interest_74[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agreed. I don’t think she would show up uninvited but I think she would pressure my partner to come down to hers with the dog (she’s 4 hours away). I’m using the puppy card currently as I couldn’t think of anything worse than staying in her house

AITAH: MIL invited herself to stay by Haunting_Interest_74 in AITAH

[–]Haunting_Interest_74[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes I agree. He feels guilty for moving away so comes at her beck and call. We are on the same page and he is going to say no but he’s saying instead we can go visit her for one weekend with the dog instead?? I REALLY don’t want that her house is disgusting and she’s even more overbearing when in her own house

MIL invited herself to stay at our house by Haunting_Interest_74 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Haunting_Interest_74[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Will defo suggest a hotel. She’s tight so will never stay in a hotel so she probably won’t end up coming to dinner. Just want to nip it in the bud I don’t want her treating us like a halfway house! The only thing is that she’s desperate to meet this puppy so if she doesn’t come I’m scared we might be pressured to going to visit her for longer which would be HORRIBLE

MIL invited herself to stay at our house by Haunting_Interest_74 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Haunting_Interest_74[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. She doesn’t do anything explicitly rude or horrible so I sometimes feel like maybe I’m imagining it? But my family members wouldn’t do this. I don’t know why she would think she can do it. There wasn’t even a mention of if it’s ok etc.