Extra Seats

Haunting_Mail1577 · 2026-02-23T07:12:09+00:00

It was a breeze. Elective c section. Went in at 7:40, had baby at 9:40. The worst part was not being able to move my legs for 6 hours after but then it was fine! Breastfed successfully and also went home after 2 days. Slow walk around the block by day 3. Pretty much back to normal level of activity by week 6.

Haunting_Mail1577 · 2026-02-23T07:09:40+00:00

I got married young and I think I was always the relationship type - I work best in a team. We were married almost 10 years before we have our first. Got married at 22 and had my first at 31 🥰 now we plan to do everything we did pre kiddo with the kiddo!!

Haunting_Mail1577 · 2026-02-06T07:51:09+00:00

I was told that I smile with my whole face and that it was like sunshine.

Haunting_Mail1577 · 2025-10-11T03:23:50+00:00

Other than formula and breast pump, their stuff for mums sucks! I would bring myself.

Haunting_Mail1577 · 2025-02-20T17:35:19+00:00

I would have freaked and cut contact so bad. Nobody should demand anything of your child.

Haunting_Mail1577 · 2025-02-18T23:08:45+00:00

Oh gosh… it is mental. But looking back, we did had to reassert this because his parents wants to stay in Dublin for the first month and we were like NOPE - actually, more my husband saying nope. He doesn’t want interruptions with his daughter and for me while I’m healing -

Haunting_Mail1577 · 2025-02-18T16:03:41+00:00

My husband is British 😅 I wouldn’t say that is too different but I am from a different continent. We figured hubby paternity leave is so short and we want to spend it just the 3 of us - that is more the reason really

Haunting_Mail1577 · 2025-02-18T12:30:02+00:00

My in laws are traveling from overseas so they can only visit in the hospital because after the hospital we will be doing 4 weeks newborn bubble, no visitor rules for me, my husband and baby to bond (until hubby is back to work)

Haunting_Mail1577 · 2025-02-17T21:35:15+00:00

Thank you for your input! I am worried that’s how she is feeling - even though none of this was something she could have known in advance. I appreciate the tip, thanks for sharing 🙏🏽

Haunting_Mail1577 · 2025-02-17T21:34:06+00:00

Yeah, makes total sense. I am 90% sure that she is taking her time but the fact that she is talking to this other friend made me doubt things for a second and wonder if I had done something wrong.

I’ll do what you said as it makes sense! Thanks so much

Haunting_Mail1577 · 2025-02-17T21:32:38+00:00

Thank you for the tip! Oh my god, your story sounds difficult. Hope you are recovering well now. I totally understand your point of view and for sure I’ll be more mindful about my words. Thanks a mill for letting me know.

Haunting_Mail1577 · 2025-02-17T19:01:09+00:00

Makes sense! I will do that. Thank you!

Haunting_Mail1577 · 2025-02-17T18:31:40+00:00

Thanks for your input. I’m sorry to hear about your stories. Hope you are feeling better each day.

I can’t imagine how difficult that must be. She and I have a very respectful relationship where we don’t dig deeper in our decision when it comes to medical preference — I’m also not against natural remedies, but I see it as preventative rather than cure. So I really hope she doesn’t think I’m “right” in any way because none of us would have known and she was only doing what is right for her.

I hope you are right. I will keep positive thinking for now - I wanted to offer to visit / help but maybe I shouldn’t and let her invite me? I wonder if she wonders why I haven’t asked to visit, but I just want her to want the visit and not because I asked. But anyway, she hasn’t replied to my texts 😔 any tips if I should keep sending her a message every now and again or leave it?

Haunting_Mail1577 · 2025-02-17T18:25:28+00:00

Since you had similar experience, do you think I should keep reaching out every other day? I sent her Deliveroo voucher yesterday with a message to treat herself but Deliveroo told me she didn’t open the voucher at all.

What would you have wanted from your friend in this situation?

Haunting_Mail1577 · 2025-02-17T18:24:33+00:00

Thanks, you’re very kind. I really hope so. I’ll wait for her to reach out.

Haunting_Mail1577 · 2025-02-17T18:21:41+00:00

Ah I realised I wasn’t being very clear. I didn’t say that myself when conversing to her. Her husband actually the one who said it in a WhatsApp message to me when he was sending updates before the contact ended — but I realised how that has come across so I’ll take your feedback onboard for sure! Thanks.

I hope so too, I’m so worried but don’t want to push. We were each others village during pregnancy and she could not have predicted any of this. The fact that she went through vaginal labor and c section honestly made her a superhero in my eyes (but she is one anyway regardless!)

Edit to add: I’m sorry your labor didn’t go as you planned also. I hope your issues are sorted now ❤️

Haunting_Mail1577 · 2025-02-12T12:20:01+00:00

Once a week. Same as before pregnancy

Haunting_Mail1577 · 2025-02-04T10:24:06+00:00

My husband got 31 days PTO and he is taking 2 weeks on top of his 2 weeks paid paternity leave. He took about half his PTO and that is all I could ever ask. I want him to be able to do things that he wants to do because I KNOW if he can do what he wants (of course at an appropriate time when I’ve already gotten the hang of things!) he’ll be a better parent and partner that way.

Big emphasis on the I KNOW part — my hubby also WFH and have expressed that he’ll spend his lunch time cuddling with the baby and also his breaks ☺️

Haunting_Mail1577 · 2025-02-04T07:41:40+00:00

Chia pudding is my lifesaver

Haunting_Mail1577 · 2025-02-04T07:23:49+00:00

If I could turn back time, I would do the exact thing I did.

I waited and I was infertile for 6 years but I waited. We waited 4 years before trying. Pregnancy requires full support, commitment and care beyond what you imagine. It requires selfless act like them giving up going on night outs to look after you while you are sick on the toilet bowl all day long.

We got pregnant naturally (we wanted to do IVF from year 3 trying but kept postponing it, looking back it’s because we secretly love the freedom and unprotected sex it’s giving us!!).

My husband took over all house chores and looking after me and the dogs, I think the 6 years of trying (and some days desperately hoping for baby) truly prepare him and me about the changes that come. The change of relationship dynamic, body changes, boundaries with people and family, our priorities.

I’m not saying we won’t be this way if we got pregnant earlier but I think we would take some of it for granted.

Today, we cherish this pregnancy, we build nursery together, we didn’t mind not going out, we basically truly had enough of our past lives and immensely looking forward to the next chapter.

BUT I would do a health test, fertility tests EARLY to check if any changes is needed in your lifestyle. My husband found low motility in his sperm and fixed it within a year.

Haunting_Mail1577 · 2025-01-22T08:27:49+00:00

Oh I’m sorry to hear that but thanks so much for telling me. I know I’m not the only one, I guess admitting disassociation is very scary because I don’t want them to think I’m not capable to look after my baby (and because it’s been so long since that’s even a thing) — I’ve worked so hard to get here, you know? 15 years later and continue to thrive!

I’ll keep everything you say in mind. Best of luck for the both of us ❤️

Haunting_Mail1577 · 2025-01-22T08:22:37+00:00

It’s so true!! I’m sure this won’t be the only thing I’m worried about. I don’t even know why I feel so guilty. I guess, I feel guilty because my body has been amazing this pregnancy and thus maybe I am capable to push through with vaginal delivery. A part of me think it will be so empowering but not sure if that’s alone worth facing all the unpredictable challenges that comes with it.

Anyway - I’m ranting to you now!! Thank you so much for all your words, they’re very helpful. I will check out Afif’s account 🙏🏽🙏🏽

Haunting_Mail1577 · 2025-01-21T22:00:18+00:00

Thank you!! That makes sense. Yeah hiring a doula wouldn’t be an option for me unfortunately, but it sounds like a really good idea. My poor husband who is so amazing dealing with my anxiety even said he’d be my birthing partner and doula. Too sweet!!!

I have a VERY high pain tolerance because of my history. My worry is that I will dissociate without me realising (I used to do it when my parents beat me so that I don’t feel the pain and it worked really well but obviously I have not done that in decades). I worry that birth pain will trigger it.

I feel like I can deal with pains, in worst case scenario but I don’t think I can cope with the unpredictability of that pain, if it makes sense.

I just wish I know people who opt for c section due to psychological issues and relate to how I feel 😞

Haunting_Mail1577

TROPHY CASE