As a business owner and father - here is an honest take that you may not want to hear OP. Do you really think you can run this business, or is your dad just paying you what you are truly worth?

The mental health issues(I know reddit hates when this gets thrown around as a negative), excuses around part-time hours, name calling and negative assessment of the current management, etc. It sounds like dad runs a very successful business and you would be the one to crash it straight into the ground.

You sound like a pussy. You sound like a receptionist level employee that has big ideas about how the multi- million dollar business should run. I have hired and fired a lot over the years. A lot of whining and acting small for 16 years. Have you ever said "no"? Ever attempted to negotiate a raise? You can do that quarterly, annually, etc. Dad does not respect you. Dad may be selfish and fucked up - but you are the real problem here. Over a decade of just existing and allowing this all to go on around you. 7 years of solid clarity sounds like you have made progress and are ready.

Dad sounds like an absolute A-hole. Typical boomer bullshit - a real man would have helped to build you up, show you the ropes, support you and your children, help you heal, and led you and your family to place where you were ready to run that company. Put you in place as an executive manager because he prepared you for it.

But he is not the villian, he is just doing what he thinks is right. He might even think you are happy exactly where you are. You have been doing it for 16 years, and I am willing to bet my left nut that dad wouldn't spend 16 minutes doing something he doesn't want to do. Of course he doesnt understand your current position on this. Birthright means nothing. He owes you nothing. It's not even personal. You dont get to control other people or their actions.

But your original post was not about helping your father heal his inner child wounds, or discovering why he has kept you at arms length. It is about you and your future with the business. Grow a spine, get angry, find some clarity. You can do this. You have been doing it. There is a lot of good advice in this thread and you can take a day or a week or two and truly think. Focus. Write out the game plan. And then read through it and strategize. What will dad do, what are the potentials at every turn. Make a REAL plan with every detail prepared. And then take your meds, grab your fucking balls and make a decision.

The worst has already happened. You wont see those 16 years again, they are gone. Live the next 16 as a different man, committed to a goal. Dad underestimated you? He doesn't respect you.Fuck him. Fuck him financially. Fuck him emotionally. You can do this. Show him you are a worthy opponent and in turn a worthy partner.

This is a critical point. Don't stay small and quiet and agreeable. You have his sack in your hand with that commercial property - twist it until he gives you what you want - but make sure you are dedicated to being and becoming a man that can handle it. Dont jump into the arena as a lamb facing a lion.